If I was I going to have a baby...

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What would be good options for me? I don't know if I would be able to go through child birth. I think for me, it would be harder being able to well... push during natural birth. I've been looking up on c-sections but I probably wouldn't qualify for one. I know my mom did have one when I was born on me. She had health concerns plus I weighed over nine pounds.

I mean I want to have a baby someday but I want to know what I can do. I know I could be capable of looking after one. My boyfriend would support me too.

It's just going through the process of birthing. It would be far more traumatic for me as an autistic women who also has extremely severe anxiety as well. I want to know what options I could have that I could push for.

I mean do you really think I'd be eligible for a C-section?

really the birth is the easy bit, if you cant face the birth then your not ready to have a baby.

I found hypnobirthing made the birth a non traumatic process

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hypnobirthing-B ... 025&sr=8-2

http://www.hypnobirthing.com/

remember a baby wont stay a baby it will be a tantruming todler, a 8 year old with problems in school, a teen with problems with friends, sex and drugs, you need to be able to deal with all these situations including dealing with teachers, social workers, doctors, childs friends and parents of childs friends.

If you are afraid of pain & anxiety I would recommend an epidural. An effective epidural that is put in at the right time (not too early) is generally safe and your body can push out the baby on its own even without you trying. I've actually experienced this with an epidural, the baby just slid out with no effort on my part. And I was up walking around 20 minutes later.

But I heard that requires needles. D:

That's interesting you have the same fear. I avoided an epidural for ages because of the fear of needles. But then I remembered seeing my grandmother have one done for backpain and realized if she could get through it, I could too. They will put an IV feed into you no matter what in the hospital when you are in labor, whether you get the epidural or not, so the needle is unavoidable. At least in the US even midwife attended births require a ready IV insert (even if it's not hooked up to anything, they want to be prepared). I find if I don't look at the insertion I can get through it.

4 time c-section champ here, girl, you DO NOT want to push for a section! Lots of aftertrouble through the yrs due to the 4 major surgeries spanning 9 yrs. Also creates a lot of immediate difficulty caring for a newborn with a gash in your belly that will rip open if you strain it too much. BTDT.

If you are serious about learning about ways to deal with birth please, please read anything you can get your hands on by []INA MAE GASKIN! She is such a well respected midwife of so many years that an actual medical term was coined after her, "the Gaskin manuver" for large babies such as yourself when they get stuck, like my first babe, also a 9 pounder did. Great reading, very educational and changes ones mind about the whole thing to a positive outlook, even for someone like me who has had 4 sections and little hope for ever finding medical support to birth naturally if I ever have another child, I will never have surgery again. If I am ever blessed with another baby I will be having a natural, possibly home birth (birthing center is as far as I'll go, never a hospital again!) Anything written by Ina Mae is very empowering and informative.
Happy reading!

The epidural is a good idea. You can always plan for it and then if you find you are handling labor better than you thought you would, you don't have to have it. Do yourself a favor though, and go to Lamaze classes and learn breathing techniques to help manage the discomfort. The breathing exercises can be helpful for relaxation later too! Learn all you can and prepare yourself--but try not to have a c-section. Vaginal birth is much better for you and the baby. Good luck when you decide you are ready!

if it scares you too much you could always adopt you know

Unfortunately so many women just get C-sections because they're scared of the pain of childbirth instead of actually NEEDING a C-section. Why not wait until the baby wants to come out? Why have women become such p*****s lately?

thats not really accurate even women who do need c sections for serious medical reasons are normally denied let alone if they're scared of the impending agony...

i dont know its just something about having your vagina spilt open or cut open and sewn back up they find so terrifying it must be the fact it hurts like hell, can get infected, hurts when you walk or want to use the toilet and can lead to postnatel depression or just general resentment of the child that has given you the worst pain you have ever felt in your life.
so maybe they're not being p****'s they are just being normal people who dont want to be in agony

I'm not saying if they need a C-section for medical reasons they shouldn't have one, they totally should be able to. I mean people with straightforward, healthy pregnancies that have C-sections because they get nervous about childbirth are taking unnecessary risks just because they get the heebie-jeebies.

well, what helped for me was to hire a midwife because then i could have more control over the whole birthing process. it was then less of a medical emergency and more of a natural event.

i.e. no needles or medicines, no strapped-on monitors, i could have my whole family there, i ate food and drank liquids, i was in the comfort of my own home, i could get light exercise and go in the bath, i could sit up or crouch or lie down, i had only familiar people assisting the birth, etc.

another thing that helped me was to do a lot of research in books and videos about the process of childbirth so i was completely aware of how it could go. what may also work is meditation or self-hypnosis techniques. one fact that put things in perspective for me was that i come from a perfect, unbroken line of successful births (as did everyone else on earth), in that i survived being born. the likelihood of things going just fine when i gave birth was therefore very good.

if you do decide to have a child, doctors will take your extreme anxiety into account and can help you with that. the doctor may refer you for a caesarean section based on your extreme likelihood of having an difficult childbirth experience due to anxiety.

Well giving birth is not the part I would begin thinking about in having a child.

You've previously said in many posts that you have the mind of a 10-year old child. So how will you raise a child who is older than 10 years old? Wouldn't your child outgrow you in primary school?

If you can't speak to doctors or nurses and your mom has to talk for you at your own appointments, how will you navigate through taking your child to its appointments and registering it in school and all that stuff?

Are you capable of actually raising a child to adulthood, and I don't mean just by giving it adequate food and shelter, but to make fair decisions in many delicate and complicated personal situations that will come up in the child's life?

It sounds like your ideas of having a child got stuck on the neonatal stage, whereas you need to think the entire thing through very thoroughly.

This kind of fear is a real condition and shouldn't be ridiculed http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokophobia Many women get the "get over yourself" treatment and end up with serious complication due to their anxiety being so strong their body can't relax and cooperate with the docs and the baby. I know of a case when a woman threw herself out of a hospital window due to being scared out of her mind and temporarily unsupervised

In several Europeans countries we have organisations that deal with this issue - prepare and train women during their pregnancy, explain everything in detail, teach you specific exercises and offer counselling for anxiety and panic. I have a friend who used them (she almost died giving birth to her first child and was terrified with the second) and they helped her a lot, her second pregnancy and birth went swell. Do some research and see if you can find something similar where you live.

Good luck!

How about like they did it back in the 50's (in U.S.)? Twilight sleep? Can you opt for that now?

Full disclosure: I had a natural childbirth of a nine-pound baby with no tearing or anything, so I'm pretty much built for childbirth. My first baby was smaller but I needed help with that birth (nonprogressive labor).

From what I understand, the recovery from a Caesarean section is so, so, so much worse than that for a vaginal birth. And where I live, you can't really "opt" to have a C-section unless it's medically indicated (anxiety may qualify, I don't know). Then again, with doctors in fear of being sued, there are C-section deliveries 25% of the time, anyway...

Um, as a woman who had a c-section (determined medically necessary after my daughter had already crowned as I was trying to deliver vaginally), it's completely effing agonizing. I woke up in my recovery room without my daughter, and literally begging to die, because the morphine drip they gave me didn't cut the pain. I couldn't roll over, I couldn't move my body in certain ways, climbing stairs at home was agony, and you can't take anything strong for the pain if you're going to breastfeed. The bloating/gas lasts for a week afterward, the staples left scars and to this day, over a decade later, I still am completely numb in and around the incision spot. And my c-section went well.

Whomever thinks the c-section is the easy way out has been deceived.