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Catster2
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04 May 2008, 5:07 am

Taxi companies give the drivers your number just in case they need to call you to day they will be late. As a female asexual Aspie I have had many occasions where I don't know how to handle what I later see are inappropriate advances by men. As an a sexual I don't think sexually it doesn't occur to me. Yesterday I caught a taxi home the driver and I got talking as you do he told me he had a wife and a kid anbd had just arrived in Australia that was all cool until we got home. He asked me for "coffee" I said "your'e married" he said "so what" and persisted I suggested he bought his wife along too thinking if he genuinely wanted to be friends and have coffee he would bring her, he said no I want to come by myself. He kept persisting and saying he will call on Sunday tonight he did call. My aunt says his actions were inappropriate and I think in hindsight they were I just never know how to handle it at the time.



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Deinonychus
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04 May 2008, 6:34 am

Just make up a plan. Almost any company in business has sexual harassment guidelines. Use that as a checklist of appropriate behavior and plan responses accordingly. In this case, you could complain to the cab company.


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hal9000
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04 May 2008, 9:53 am

so what are you going to do? by your own admission this man was out of line. you don't sound confused.



Catster2
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04 May 2008, 9:40 pm

hal9000 wrote:
so what are you going to do? by your own admission this man was out of line. you don't sound confused.


I was very confused and without my aunt's advice still would be I have written an email to the company not to get that individual in trouble but so their drivers can be educated on appropriateness in certain situations given most are from overseas this is probably more important.



hal9000
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05 May 2008, 2:03 pm

Catster2 wrote:
hal9000 wrote:
so what are you going to do? by your own admission this man was out of line. you don't sound confused.


I was very confused and without my aunt's advice still would be I have written an email to the company not to get that individual in trouble but so their drivers can be educated on appropriateness in certain situations given most are from overseas this is probably more important.


ok. i see that this is in the women's section. i am not a woman, just to let you know. my mistake. i think taking some action was a good idea.



sojournertruth
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05 May 2008, 11:09 pm

I think your response was appropriate, Catster. You could probably be more blunt and forceful in the future if something like this comes up, because you'll have a better idea of what's going on. It's good, too, that the company has a record of misbehavior on this guy if he ever pushes things further on someone who dosen't want his advances.



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08 May 2008, 1:05 pm

Catster - I too think your instincts were correct and you handled it well.

With advances like that (conversational) you can just be firm with what you think is appropriate (including his wife, meeting in public). If he did just want to be friends, he would have made that clear when you invited his wife. If he wants an affair, he shuffles and acts silly. I have a few friends now that I met in odd places and their initial, "Do you want to get together for coffee?" could have been an advance, but wasn't. The only way to figure it out was to ask more questions. If they really get obtuse, be blunt - "Are you asking me out on a date?"


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