Feeling behind in certain areas...

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I have never, and will probably never have a 'relationship'.
I did not 'date' until I was 21, which is when males started being attracted to me in the slightest.
It's called normal life.

I feel behind is soo much areas, not exactly I feel 'left behind'( because in others I feel like in the front) but yes confused if I compare myself with 'normal' people.
I feel bothered by the 'social formalities' around guys-women dating, why if a boy likes you asks you first to go to the cinema? my opinion of him is not gonna change if I look Indiana Jones or another random film first, .. why can't people be more directed and say what they really want? to only 'speak 'with you, to 'sleep on bed' with you, to marry you, ... then it would be easier for most of aspies women, as we don't understand most of social formalities.
As well we may be a little dumb, innocent, childish people, but knowing that( the problem is when you don't know that about yourself and you let yourself be manipulate by other people) we can work on that and try to learn from our experience, ..

Continuying with the 'feeling behind in certain areas', ..
What means when the boy licks your face like the dog does? ( spontaneously) (your boyfriend or the boy who likes you ..
What means when a close person to you pass his/her hand all over your face, in a caress but with the palm of the hand open and only in a one movement, then turn it back (also this person looks tou you like in a tender expression) in this case was my mum who did it one time, so it is not 'sexual' kind.
thnks for the help

I'd guess your "irrational fear" and boundary issues aren't really that irrational.

People SUCK, and people who are kind, loving and reliable can show their worst in sexual relationships. It's a high risk endevour.



I spent years having sex with people, trying to get rid of those "irrational negative responses" and to "think of sex as a good thing."

I have never been saner or happier than after I started to respect my "irrational" "problems"--started to respect what I really wanted, to have the boundaries I really wanted, and started learning how to say no. Not wanting to is a GREAT reason not to have sex. No one else has a right to your body. No one. Ever.

If someone wants you to just "get over your baggage" so that you can comfortably have sex with them, they are not respecting that You are the person who has the right to make All the decisions about your body. They can be great in other respects, but they almost certainly suck as a romantic partner. That respect is tremendously important, and it's a big part of whether it's a good idea to feel safe expressing your sexuality with someone. It's possible to be physically turned on by something that's a terrible idea or that you don't want to do; don't let yourself be pressured into it on those grounds.


When you are in a situation that is stable, with someone you deeply trust, a lot of that fear will go away. If there's still some difficult emotions remaining, but--in your deepest and most unflinchingly honest understanding--you still completely want to be intimate with the person--then is the time to start working on making baggage go away.

likely, though, it will already be gone.


It's hard to wait for someone you really want, instead of taking sooner emotional gratification and emotional closeness that's terribly missed and needed. I think, though, that it spares the greater pain. Accumulating more "baggage" from lovers you taken as an adult isn't going to help anything.

Try not to worry so much about being "behind" or not having enough experience. When you're really in the right relationship, they'll understand, and, I'm sure, be more than happy to help you practice till you've made up the difference.

I can relate. I'm 19, and I've never even kissed a guy. I know how much pressure you feel that it's "too late" or that a guy will think you're weird when you try to explain why you're so behind. I've been really freaked out about this lately. I'm trying to work on it and figure it out. Just try and wait until you find a guy who can understand this - you're still young enough that you can find an inexperienced guy who can relate to you.

I was molested as a child by a family member. I always thought it was holding me back sexually but now I believe it is my AS. I didn't discover until my son was diagnosed (I was 37). I went thru the motions of the teenage scene but was very disappointed and hurt emotionally. I was attracted to boys that weren't interested and settled for boys I really did not care about. I finally had sex with someone I did not love or respect just because I felt I was old enough and I was behind all of my friends. I was 19. Thank God that I did not get pregnant. We dated awhile but we were so immature. Within 6 months I met and married the first person that asked me. He was 26 and I was 19. I knew that I did not love him but I really did not believe in the emotion of romantic love. We stayed together 10 miserable years with nothing in common and he did not want kids. So we divorced and I met my current husband of 12 years. We have 3 kids. I matured and realize that love is a choice. I am about 10 yrs. behind all of my friends with my maturity,the age of my children, finances, ect.. My advice is to not focus on the sexual. Find a male friend and if it is meant to be, the relationship will grow. If he's not understanding, he's not worth it. Do not rush it up. You really have plenty of time. Don't make the mistakes I made. I am happy where I am at but feel I wasted 10 yrs. but emotionally I was not ready, yet. We became Christians 5 yrs. ago and I plan to encourage my daughters to save their virginity for marriage. I wish that I would have not followed social pressures that I put on myself. You live and learn!