Sometimes it's not you (27 wrong reasons you're single)

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I bought this book about being a long time single woman. The author wrote it after getting positive responses to her article in the NY times

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/fashion/sometimes-its-not-you-or-the-math-modern-love.html

Gosh. I really feel like there's no one like me on the planet. I've got a couple of female friends who get it, but I really must be very unusual.

It can just take longer to find someone compatible if you're quirky. Do you really want a normal partner? That would be a horrible combination of boring and stressful.

its not that there's anything more wrong with us than anyone else, it just takes time to meet someone that we connect with and who we can be ourselves with.

I don't believe it is some sort of "lie" to believe it is "them," and not "I."

As long as one is "different" while being "faithful" to one's self, rather than being "different" merely to be "different."

(though there are those who believe in iconoclasm 'being contrary merely to be contrary' , and can connect to those of 'like mind.')

If you read the book the woman who wrote it isn't "normal".

The point of the article and book is to counteract the stupid things other people say to single women that are a load of rubbish.

That's why I liked it.

My friend's mum told me that I am too independent. Really. There's other independent women in relationships. Thanks for putting me down friend's mum.

My mum says I'm too intelligent. Well explain the fact that there are millions of intelligent women in relationships.

You need to improve x,y and z. But there are millions of other women in relationships who never even had to consider improving x,y or z.
X,y and z don't matter.

Or "just wait and love will come to you". Why is it coming to other people and not me?

My most hated piece of advice is "God knows that maybe this isn't the right time for you." That is an absolute load of rubbish even if you do believe in God. Did he stop other people getting into relationships before they were ready? No. Were they less faithful than me because he didn't protect them from going out with someone who wasn't right for them? Again. No. Why would i be better or deserving of more prorection than other people who are getting into relationships that arent right for them. Purlease

I kind of stopped focusing so much on trying to find a partner.
It just stresses me out.

And for the previous statement, there may be millions of intelligent woman yes who find someone but I can tell you off the bat that am still single and intelligent so that doesn't always work out that way.

I've gone on a few dates and stuff but they always ended horribly either i moved too fast or didn't apparently love them or i wasn't making any effort. Heard them all before...

Personally, if i were you.
I just would stop and enjoy your life now.

There's plenty of ways not to be alone without having to date and or marry someone.
You could write a book
You could adopt
You could get a pet
You could volunteer
You could go to a club.

Just so many ways and none of them are permanent, if there's someone you don't like simple just leave like that.
No need to consult with your partner either if you get a job out west. Just pack your bags and head off!

Do I dodge seeking a partner?
Nope, if it happens then it happens.

But until then I am enjoying my life and having fun!
I even started volunteering as a leader at Girl Scouts and have a ton of fun helping young girls and made a few friends too with the other camp leaders.

I also hate the stop looking you don't need someone advice. I will keep looking thank you.

I'm ok on my own, but i would quite like to experience a relationship.i do have hobbies and do things with other people. I don't just sit at home and mope.

My doing so is no threat to anyone else. I don't think others who choose to be alone have less of a life.

But this is who I am and I want to have a relationship. I want that little bit of the human experience.

I'm sick of being shamed for wanting something normal.

I'm single because I choose to be. I like not having to deal with guys, especially if they're anything like my ex-boyfriend.

I am single and am not looking. I don't care.
Honestly, I am tired of those people who ask me why I am still single, whether I want a family, etc.
Once a woman (from Mediterranean culture) said to me "Those single women who have passed "marriageable" age are too picky." I was furious. I said to her: "Oh, it's better that they endure the unhealthy relationships and end up in domestic violence. We women don't have right to live a single life and feel content?"