How important is looking 'feminine'?

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I had to stop looking at "fu**ing fashion" as a way to define....and accentuate my feminintiy....aka....(my chances for getting Lay...d....or aka my chances at finding my soul mate"....)
so over the years...I have tried very hard to fit in to the "girlie" image....only to discover...that I don't.....although times when I've been dressed to the nines (NT standards)....I have felt miserably foolish....and could hardly wait to get home to rip off the offensive clothes...)...my lover's felt the same way too! ....heh....heh.....

for me it was confusing...because I'm a collector....and for a while fashion caught my interest....so of course....I blew wads of $$$ on clothes......for my collection.."not to wear...only to have and look at once in a while -- or give away...if in a particularly expansive mood...)


the one fashion item that I always coveted was the "frilly blouse....with the fu**ing poofy sleeves....they look so cute!....)...but OMG in the dressing room....quite another story...Hulk Hogan wearing a blouse....I'm Polish...and have broad shoulders....(da**m....but being Polish I have also inherited an amazing a****s)....but that's another story...

back to fashion...and looking feminie....

truth...
I've always despaired about not looking right in women's fashions....(or at the very least feeling like an imposter)....

however the thought that just occured to me - is that even though I have tortured myself for fu**ing years over fashion.... I have never had a problem accumulating lovers...heh...heh....

the morale of the story...

f**ck fashion!
wear whatever the HE...double hockey sticks....you want!

Looking feminine is not the same as dressing in ultra-girly attire, and I see nothing wrong with jeans and a t-shirt (in fact it can be sexy). For example, I used to know an extremely attractive girl - the first time I saw her she was wearing a labcoat (not the sexiest or most feminine attire around) and I still thought she looked stunning (on other occasions, I felt she was still stunning, but overdressed). To quote an NT, 'you know a girl really is beautiful when she looks beautiful even when she's all muddy and sweaty.'
what suits your looks? I don't know, for me it is possible for a girl to dress too feminine, as in just skirts and lace and high heels, makeup, etc - they look either overdressed or like they're just trying too hard.

I was out last night and I wore a girly top for the first time in months... but I felt ridiculous, like I was on show the whole time (I was with all guys- normally, that doesn't bother me, but I felt really self-conscious and left early.

I can just about wear earrings, if they're weird (bats, lizards...) and sometimes wear mascara, but anything else and I feel like I'm waaaay overdressed (even if everyone else can carry it off)

I think I'll resign myself to being a tomboy- if the guy I fancies doesn't like that look, too bad!

Thanks for your replies everyone

I dont have any particular preference to fashion. What every I like and I like in all different styles. Sometimes I like 'pretty' stuff but other times I just wear jeans especially of late as it has been so cold and thier is nothing worse than crossing the street lights and your dress blows right up.

I love jewerly but I hate wearing it. It gets in the way. In wearing a necklace it makes me feel like I am going to choke or something.

I hate to add this to the topic but girls trying to look feminine isn't always about the clothes they wear but the exagerated yet obscure features in their face and body in many ways. I've noticed some very feminine looking girls who wear tomboy clothes but reak of male attention.

Aesthetic beauty I guess is important in some ways if you're the type who has diffiiculty with social skills and initiating yet want a mate. But I think they have downfalls as well for what is percieved feminine (taken into many definitions but mostly submissive in western society) may attract unwanted behavior as well as confusion of self identity. This of course probably goes back to the natural selection of the birds and the bees of what is desirable and what is seen as undesirable thus procreation.

I agree but no woman looks sexy in a suicide gown or feminine in handcuffs no matter how much she tries shake her booty

I used to wear guy's clothing -- my brothers old sweaters and coats -- or buy guy's shirts because they were more comfortable and surprisingly cheaper than the girl's clothing. I had short hair because my mother thought it was cute. I got tired of being asked if I was a lesbian or mistaken for a boy. I grew my hair long and started wearing woman's clothing more often.

The colours are different for women's clothing but tend to change every year. Men's clothing usually just come in red, burgundy, blue, black, brown -- basic colours. I actually prefer those colours to some of the woman's clothing colours some years like lime green, salmon pink, orange which I hate wearing. Some years it was just impossible to find anything in a colour that I liked. Often the men's clothing will last longer and is not see through like woman's clothing.

compare: woman's underwear: flimsy, rips easily, must be washed/dried specially or it will be ruined
men's underwear: thicker fabric, thicker elastic, lasts longer

woman's t-shirts: too low cut in front, thinner fabric, usually too tight, sometimes too short
men's t-shirts: just plain comfortable and long wearing t-shirts

woman's pants or jeans: cost more, often don't have pockets or useless pockets but they might fit better depending on your figure
men's pants or jeans: longer wearing thicker fabrics, lots of larger and useful pockets

I usually buy men's socks just because they are cheaper and last longer than woman's socks.

I used to buy my gym clothes in boys' wear, and I know what you mean about colour and style etc. Women's clothes are fashion, and are made to be disposable. Men's clothes are made to be worn until they fall apart. I mostly make my own clothes, to get past the lack of choice (plus to get a better fit) but if I'm going to go for off the rack (e.g. in an emergency) I'm just as likely to buy boys' wear as women's.

Kind of like the difference in price between men's and women's haircuts. A real double standard, sometimes.

It seems most of us are bothered by the same feelings about dressing up 'femenine'. What's with the 'obligation' to dress up like everybody (girls/women) does? I can understand in Nt world is important for them to follow that 'tendency', but as I am aspie I don't follow the same 'logical' they follow. Mostly because we don't feel the same way about things, until here is all understable. For our particulary reason we feel femenine wihtout necessity of showing off, I don't know why we feel like that, and that with a little more we inmediately feel 'overdressed' and too much like a 'doll', it's funny we feel that way, but is like this.

I look feminine and I like looking that way. Its not just my clothes its the way my face looks, my body type (even if its not super curvy). I'm too small to even consider the men's department but I do agree they have very well made clothes. I shop for basics at the boy's department at the Gap (jeans, pants, socks, sneakers) Then I head to girls section for tops and dresses. Children's clothes are looking more and more like adult styles! and they are made to withstand many trips to the laundry.

I think you'd probably be more comfortable just switching the fit of the jeans, t-shirt and jacket you wear (more fitted). If you wear sneakers, you can change them for skimmers, which look more girly and are still comfortable. And I second the suggestion of wearing a "girly" color t-shirt, or even something with a flower print. That will make you look more open to flirting, but you won't completely change who you are, cause that is not cool either. If you are not a skirt and heels girl, don't wear them.

I am the other way around, actually; I am way more comfortable in frilly skirts than I am in jeans. I look a bit out of place sometimes, like going to a place where all the girls are in jeans and leather jackets and I will be in a dress, cardigan, and heels, but I am not gonna change who I am either.

Almost non-exsistant

I like to dress up occassionaly, but look like a slob at home more often then I should for hubby's sake. It's just hard to care when you are keeping up with a little one and constantly working around the house and in the yard. Our baby is VeRy busy and I hate to leave her without adequate supervision.
The funny thing is my husband thinks a shirt and cutoffs is just as sexy without makeup and high heels. He just shakes his head at the heels I were, because he likes a more natural look. So ladies there are guys out there that prefer the woman as she really is....Oh but he still likes that itchy scratchy uncomfortable lingerie and panties.bleh...