what good is marriage?

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personally, i'll never resort to it even if my life depended on it ...ever! for a few reasons:

A- paperwork. why should that be involved when two people are in love and wanna commit?

B- financial depenance. i'd rather earn money for myself than share it w/ my spouse. that way, when divorce comes in play i won't lose money 'cos it's what i'd survive on.
speaking of divorce...

C- marriages never last.

D- position as a wife...at home? screw it! i'd rather have a career than picking up after my husband!

E- kids. don't want any. i have enough drama of my own. so, why deal with bratty, spoiled, and obnoxious whippersnappers to make it worse. just because i'm a female doesn't mean i should have babies. another reason not to be a housewife. sorry if this is offensive.

F- as a wife, you're nothin' but a tool since this world has no love or compassion present in relationships.

and finally G- I'M AUTISTIC, JOBLESS, & AVERAGE-LOOKING.

i don't know about you guys. what's your view on it?

This is probably a question to those who have enjoyed marriage. I've never been married and never really understood except for financial issues of family and maybe some sort of closure into a relationship.

It's kind of sad how delusional people can be about marriage. I've seen people go in and out of marriages as if their last two that didn't last won't happen again with their third.

My mom and dad on the otherhand did stay together for years. Even after their divorce, they've stayed close like friends. Not one of them married again.

for me, it was just about finding that one person I could see myself with the rest of my life. I do realize nothing is a gaurantee but we have worked hard at our relationship and have reaped the benefits of it. I love my husband even more now than the day we got married. We waited 5 years to have a baby too so I think that has helped us feel more secure in our relationship. We're only together because we both really want to be. I can't really explain in words what having a good marriage feels like. It's just so nice to have someone you can completely trust and knowing they'll love and be there for you no matter what.

When you are both happy and you can both just be yourselves.

"A- paperwork. why should that be involved when two people are in love and wanna commit?"
I agree with this.. I don't quite understand this either.


B- financial depenance. i'd rather earn money for myself than share it w/ my spouse. that way, when divorce comes in play i won't lose money 'cos it's what i'd survive on.
speaking of divorce...
There are special arrangements you can make so that you don't lose any of your money in a divorce.

C- marriages never last.
Most marriages end prematurely. But by no means all of them. Some last for a lifetime.

D- position as a wife...at home? screw it! i'd rather have a career than picking up after my husband!
You can be a working wife. Who is to prevent you? You're not obligated to be a submissive housewife cleaning your husband's messes.

E- kids. don't want any. i have enough drama of my own. so, why deal with bratty, spoiled, and obnoxious whippersnappers to make it worse. just because i'm a female doesn't mean i should have babies. another reason not to be a housewife. sorry if this is offensive.
You don't have to be a housewife, and you're not required to have kids. You can be married, with a job, and childless.


F- as a wife, you're nothin' but a tool since this world has no love or compassion present in relationships.
Hmm I take it you've had some bad experiences, then? I wish you luck in your future pursuits.

and finally G- I'M AUTISTIC, JOBLESS, & AVERAGE-LOOKING.

Autistic people can get married and have great relationships. Average looking people can get married, and so can ugly people! Some even snag some of the beautiful folks!
And as to your joblessness, what is preventing you from getting/maintaining a job?

buhhhh post deleted

your assumptions are illogical and out of date. I am not sure why I am answering them. But chalk it up to me hating things that are inaccurate. For the record I have been married almost 6 years.


A- paperwork. Really? Seriously? I didn't do that much paperwork. no more than I have to do every year just by living. In fact almost all my maarriage paperwork can be summed up by checking 1-2 extra boxes and writing my husband's name. Which I can do because I am not lazy.

B- financial depenance. Since my husband earns money and I earn money I am twice as independent as you are. If something happens and I get sick, or downsized, or I need to go to college and I can't work as much I do not need to live on ramen in my mother's basement.

C- marriages never last. about 50% of marriages last and everyone that doesn't can only blame themselves.

D- position as a wife...at home? I work, I go to college, I have a Master's degree, and I don't stay at home. Welcome to the year 2008, your only about 50 years too late. But at least late is better than never.

E- kids. I don't have kids. There is nothing in the definition of marriage that specifies kids must be included. In fact, quite a few married people have no kids.

F- as a wife, you're nothin' but a tool since this world has no love or compassion present in relationships. You do not need to be married to be a tool. And your assumption would prevent anyone from ever having a relationship. So... grow up. I am married and I am not a tool. and I am not sure how lack of love or compassion in a relationship means that a wife is a tool. Provide peer-reviewed studies.

and finally G- I'M AUTISTIC, JOBLESS, & AVERAGE-LOOKING. this really has nothing to do with anything. your not married because you have a crappy attitude, not because of your autism (autistic people get married), your lack of a job (jobless people also get married) or your looks (because average looking people get married).

i don't plan to get married. or have kids. just because i don't wanna go down that road.

i remember someone at work getting married a while ago and complaing that people were asking her a lot when she and her husband are going to have kids, as she said being married does not mean you are going to have kids.

A marriage can be pretty much what the parties involved define it to be. I've been married for 30+ years to a guy I love, we've never had kids, I've worked for most of it. Sometimes (like now) I've taken work breaks to pursue some interest that wouldn't support me in the short-run. I married the guy I did because I saw in him the likelihood that he would make my life more fun and interesting, and all that has happened--we have changed individually over the years in compatible ways. We are somewhat different people with different strengths who support each other when needed. I hadn't planned to get married, but since I've always been rather opportunistic, I guess I recognized a great opportunity when I saw one. He's been very supportive of my AS, not pushing me beyond my comfort zone. He has some issues where I seem a tower of strength by comparison. I know I have been incredibly lucky. It is not worth compromising when you're better off without marriage, but it isn't all evil either, when the conditions are right.

I like the idea of spending the rest of my life with one person (as long as they leave me alone).

What bugs me is that you have to have a wedding, wear a ring,and sign some piece of paper to cement is-why? They say it's to make it permanent, but rings can be melted, albeit at very high temprature. Piece of paper can be ripped. And a wedding just cost money which would be better spent on a house and other financial thing which insure than financial problems don't ruin the union (especially with how fragile a marridge is in the first couple of years).

Plus the idea of having everyone stare at me in a stupid dress (which is supposed to symbolise virginity, why is it any of their business whether I am or not, and as for God, I would imagine as long as the man I was marrying was the only one I slept with he would be fine, but even not he knows me better than them, he knows why I've done the things in my life), While I'm giving away by my father (whose never been much of a father but somehow he gets to "give" me away, like he ever had me in the first place. Like I don't own myself and can't make my own choices about who I marry).

Sounds lovely.

Here in England (at least as far as I'm aware) you can't get married in your backyard, you have to go somewhere that has a licence, and the government requires you sign a piece of paper.

I'm the same with rings...all jewellery really. Which suck as I really like looking at them in shops and catalogues.