Is there any polite way to decline an invitation??

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Ok so I have a dilemma. Yesterday my mother-in-law sent me a text message telling me that my husband's cousin is having a bridal shower and wanted to know if I want to go. I definately do not want to go! I wont even know anyone there and I hate such god-awful functions and the stupid games they play and everything else except the free food (lol)! !

Is there any polite way I can turn this down without lying and without offending the in-laws???

One question, mitharatowen:

Is your husband going to attend the shower?

If he isn't perhaps you can say that
"I have a commitment that day from which
I can't escape" or words to that effect.

No, he isn't.
That sounds good but I'm not sure I can pull it off. I'm usually not vague like that lol I always give tons of details.

Just saying that your busy is the socially acceptable answer, I think.

I'm just wondering if my declining the invitation at all (in a polite way or not) will offend the in-laws since techincally I should go?

You don't HAVE to go. If someone gets pissed at you for not going to a party, then they're probably the sort of person it's hard NOT to offend, TBH.

Do you know your husband's cousin well? If not, you don't really have any obligation to attend at all.

No, not really but she and her fiance did come to our wedding last year and we did run into them at Target a couple of weeks ago and she mentioned the bridal shower to us at that time

I'm probably over-analyzing it like I do everyting. I don't think they'll be pissed if I don't go.. but they may be disappointed. They probably think I'm unfriendly.

I don't like making anyone unhappy with me in any way I always worry about people not liking me.

Last edited by mitharatowen on 19 Feb 2009, 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

> That sounds good but I'm not sure I can pull it off. I'm usually not vague like that lol I always give tons of details.

Now you know why normies like vagueness as a big part of their culture. Helps to wiggle out of things.

If you want to suck up, you can send a gift but say you can't make it. You can then babble about the gift, how to get it there, blah blah blah and those details are your cover.

I just say I don't do showers. I'm not a girly girl so I can get away with it. However, you have to realize there will never be a shower for you, which btw I consider a bonus.

Sounds like you aren't too close to her, or you would want to go. So, no big deal about refusing.

Last edited by Ladarzak on 20 Feb 2009, 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just tell them that you appreciate the invitation, but you really cannot make it and leave it at that. Send a gift and congratulate them. They should be fine.

^ Ok. That sounds good. Thanks.


Secondary question... aren't you supposed to buy lingerie as gifts for a bridal shower???

I just realised that I don't know what you're supposed to give as gifts at a bridal shower...baby showers are easy, of course, but I always thought bridal showers just have early wedding gifts...and I just realised that makes no sense.

I've been to one once before when I was younger and it was mostly lingerie....

Well incase anyone wants to know the answer.. I found this website that has a lot of bridal shower gift ideas.

http://www.gifts.com/occasions/bridal-s ... 20Shower:P

Seems like mostly sexy things or personalized stuff.

I do not like to lie (not a moral thing necessarily, I am very uncomfortable uttering non-truths, hearing non-truths uttered etc, I think it relates to inflexibility more than anything else), so if it were me, I would actually schedule something for the day in question, then text my apologies along with the explanation that I do have other plans.

^ Yeah that's probly waht I'll do, too.

"Do you want to go?" "No, sorry. Thank-you for the invitation though." Wouldn't that work? Are they really easily offended or something? It was a rather straightforward question.