Dealing with other women

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Ya know if I do something nice I noticed people think I have an ulterior motive. That baffles me!

I spend time with guys

ROFL....hang out with a bunch of dykes...it's not the same as NT straight women. I'm gay, and I find that most gay women are very straightforward. I dont' have to deal with straight women and their ways....

I find NT straight women extremely petty, and hard to tolerate.

That's a tough one to solve. Women are very good at manipulating..not all women but I can't tell you how many times I had trust issues even with genuinely nice women. In fact that was the worst for me, they would be nice in my face but say crap about me behind my back. I was too shy and passive to confront them for a while until my boss who happens to be female told me just confront them but pick and choose your battles carefully. It took a while to get the gumption but I did, of course they denied it and then I went to the supervisor. Now I didn't complain about every little thing they did to me, I just wrote it on paper and put it in a blunt way of how it affected me.

I had to write before I did this b/c it was something I had to think carefully on. I couldn't just assume that all the female co-workers that made me angry did it on purpose. In fact, I had one that apologized to me by owning up to what she did. Also, don't always assume that they're all out to get you. Case example, I said hi to one customer and she ignored me. I thought what a b***h...turns out she's hard at hearing.

So also be careful in what you misconstrue as being deliberate. No one's perfect.

As for women, I have often wondered in your topic why they are so highly competitive with eachother. With guys, it's as if they're a team and the funny thing about it is when they fight with eachother it's as if it didn't happen or they were just having a bad day so they shrug it off. Women tend to really hold on to grudges not to assume that guys don't but an awful lot of them.

Also with my ASD, I know that my communication skills are weak compared to that of a typical extroverted female who doesn't happen to have ASD. I seem to get along with guys IRL than I do with women but that's not to say I don't get along with women. I'm just not good at chitter chatting about life in general. I believe I've had people misconstrue this weakness of mine for not caring. I had a friend tell me that she was told by another girl about what a total b***h I was that I could be so arrogant. My friend asked her why and she told her that I was rude because I never said hi and never joined in on their conversations (not sure what she meant by conversations..unless it mean just us getting together and talking about nothing usual)....as if I was above them I guess. Anyway, my friend defended me by saying I was not all that. I even tried to bring this up with her.....apparently some people just don't understand why it'd be difficult to communicate or talk like any "normal person".

Well when it comes to different types of bullying, I personally find words more hurtful than getting into a physical fight. I've known people to say the same exact thing so sticks and stones might break my bones but words really do hurt me.

As for you last statement, yeah everyone assumes that because there are people out there who come off as a bit different that they do it on purpose either to get sympathy or come off as cool for being different. For some people that's true but not a lot of us. I knew a friend of the family that always talked about how she wanted to kill herself but never did. Most of us thought she was trying to gain sympathy but even if she was it wasn't the best way. One moment she'd be happy..too happy and the next day she'd throw fits that she just couldn't fit into this world. Well eventually she did herself in. I felt bad for all those times by calling her an emo or an attention whore. Even if she was, it was still not my place to call her that and I think back to the aspect of her maybe needing attention just not the kind that earned her sympathy. She had a bipolar disorder and some issues in her past.

Whoops, got to wordy for this simple topic. I seem to do that a lot.....

I can not deal with any women! I don't know why. I prefer boys. [It has got nothing to do with sexuality, by the way ]

Maybe that's why people always think that I'm gay.


I am dealing with this problem with NT women a little bit now, with some co-workers whom I've known for years. I've worked a relatively solitary evening shift for a while, but lately I've been taking on a few day shifts as well and the factions are resolving before my eyes. I have had no fewer than three people come to me and say, 'so-and-so hates me,' and attempt to maneuver me into their side. I don't want to be on anyone's side; everyone I work with has good sides and bad sides, but is overall worthy of respect and friendship.

I fear ending up like the proverbial fence-sitter, hated by everyone because I won't hate anyone.

These sound like the women I know who force their children on to people. Even if I try to explain I have Hyperacusis, they go off saying "Well you're NOT a parent!" or "You must HATE children!" They also whine about when people glare at them, when the problem could be resolved if anyone could talk to them without them going off on them. The kids are the ones who suffer, cause the parents care more about defending their territory then their own kids. I even had a mother make a face at me like a 2 year old.

How will children learn to behave, when their own parents behave like bratty small children? I found this Foamy rant that expresses my views, as well. There is a good deal of bad language in it:

http://www.illwillpress.com/door22.html

I agree - guys are more inclined to go further and have a physical fight if one has a problem with another, but whether it's physical or not, a problem comes up, it's immediately aired, they talk/yell/fight it out, then the air's cleared and they're fine again. Women will be all sugar-sweet and denying anything's wrong to your face and running you down/plotting indirect revenge behind your back. Really nasty games. The myth of women being 'sisters' who band together and support each other is a myth. 95% of all the problems I've ever had with bullying and victimization have been with other women.

I wish you luck.

I have no idea to deal with woman.

Even with the nice ones its still like being in a field with land mines hidden, There just so emotional and reactionary. I just can't handle them. (In retrospect the worst choice I ever made was to go to an all girl secondary)

Avoidance seems to work for me. But then I have Social and Agorophobia, so I can quite easily avoid them, how easy this might be for you I don't know.

Do any of you hate when women are faced with something they don't want to deal with, or hear, they make these big sad puppy eyes like O_O and look like a little kid on the verge of tears. It's like why even bother with someone, who's going to resort to the manipulative tactics of kids?

I try not to assume that all women are manipulative. I think females have trouble in the area of confronting so they use methods such as avoiding, manipulating, or taking anger out on someone less threatening.

That's no excuse for the behavior but I've often wondered if this is just how they deal with it. I know I'm guilty for avoiding most of my problems. I tend to notice guys will confront whether it's wrong or right.

My best friend was a girl who acted just like a guy when anything ticked her off she'd say something about it to the perpetrator or outloud. It was hillarious with the stares she'd get from guys.

I don't think she was a lesbian but I do think she was a man trapped in a female's body. She was one friend I actually looked up to as a big sister.

I'm wondering if avoiding the problem makes it worse in friendships and relationships. Anger can manifest into many things such as the backstabbing and name-calling. I don't really think one gender is better than the other BTW. I've seen men get mad in just as innappropriate ways as women do.

As for bullying, it depends on the type of bullying. Just from my own experiences, females were good at getting me where it hurt the most than guys. I guess they knew me more than I knew myself....

One thing to remember, never underestimate a female's intuition about yourself.

In my experience, it's usually a lot easier to get along with guys. There's a refreshing lack of DRAMA compared to relationships with women. I work with other women all day, and it's draining. All my best friends for the last 10+ years have been guys, and now I understand why. The relationships are simpler, usually. No head games, no head butting, no throwing each other under the bus...

i don't like groups of females, i could handle one on one
situations...
i hate the catty chatty stuff which most likely annoy me
even if they don't do anything obvious at all...
i hate groups of women. period.

I offend a disproportionate amount of women. So I avoid women. Well, women who appear to have a propensity for irrational emotional thinking.

I find other women can be the most jealous of each other. It's unreal and it is alot worst among women than men. I think why can't women support each other instead of being so bitchy, jealous and mean.

^QFT

It all seems like a competiton when I'm with a group of women. When I see men in groups I don't see this crap so much. In fact, it seems they seem more like a team.