Spinster, Old Maid......

Post Reply New Topic

Black Widow!

I'm 26 and still don't have a boyfriend..not that I'm desperate. I suppose I'll be like one of those old eccentric ladies who live with a bunch of cats inside a creepy shed. Next thing you know, I'll be making money alone off of palmistry or home grown goods....

What do you guys think..to live single or to have a family or to have a guy/or girl that loves you?

Personally I wouldn't know, I'm already an old maid.....

Last edited by MissConstrue on 16 Mar 2009, 11:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm probably heading in that direction as well, but I like cats so I don't mind becoming a crazy cat lady. Even if I do find someone I still want to have a bunch of cats. So it's either crazy cat lady or crazy cat couple, either way works for me.

26 is nowhere near old enough to be an old maid. Neither is 47 (my age) IMO.

And what's wrong with having a lot of cats? They're wonderful companions - much better than the wrong man (one who cheats, beats, or otherwise fails to add to your life).

I think you should quit worrying - you have lots of time to find a nice guy.

I think there's too much stock put into the "ideal" situation for women. Do what makes you happy. Whether it's being with a man, with a woman, by yourself, kids or no kids. Plus, you're definitely young. I think a persons needs shift as they go through different periods in their life.

Eh. I'm the same age and I'm recently single. It happens. You're not into old maid territory yet.

True it's just that I get sick of the ongoing jokes.

I've had family members and friends single me out and it's not all that funny from my perspective. Not sure if this is normal or not. My friends have gone through one relationship after another like going through a brand new pair of shoes. I always felt akward being alone especially when I'd go out with them. I think that's part of the reason why I don't see much anyone anymore.

Last edited by MissConstrue on 16 Mar 2009, 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

26 is by no means old...you might already be in "crazy cat lady" territory, though

I wouldn't sweat being single at 26. Look at it this way - it's given you a little more time to think about what you want out of life and to pursue some of your own personal goals.

Your friends may have had more relationships, but you likely have had less drama.

Quality > Quantity

My take on it anyway...now if we can just get the rest of the world to see that.

all in all, I would rather be called an old maid or a spinster than the names people have for running through men barefoot. . .

Merle

Good point...

Wow so many names you can give a woman!

Oh and prude...

I think I was lucky in that I had a boyfriend the summer I was 17. Once I knew what dating could be like, I was quite happy to go without for some time after. It can be very stressful not knowing what you're missing out on, no matter how bad what you're missing out on can be, so a small dose of it can do wonders. And I know one of the reasons I had my second boyfriend when I was 24 was that the pressure was building up again (to conform, see what I was missing).

Now, having a boyfriend you want to keep . . . that's a different thing entirely. And a successful relationship that ends leaves you feeling good about yourself and wondering who you want to meet next. (Kind of like a job promotion.)

What helps me now (and I do feel like an old maid and wonder what I look like to people) is that I think about the quality of relationships - which ones left me richer and which left me poorer? It does take some of the pressure off the need to have any relationship.

People who go through relationship after relationship probably aren't learning much from each one.

You'll be okay in your later years as long as you can hide your 'shed enterprise' income from the IRS.
Being alone and having to live with cats is not the worse thing that can happen. You could end up being married to a jerk!

Sometimes I think the 'idea' or 'concept' of having a 'relationship' is an artificial social construct we have all been programmed for in school. It is perhaps more realistic for a human to expect to maybe only have one or maybe up to 3 real relationships in an entire lifetime. Many of us have scores of relationships but how many have an impact on our lives.

Those terms are all quite historically based, aren't they? I study literature, and I always find it depressing to find terms like 'old maid' used in a genuine, non ironic way.

These days i think a lot of people stay single longer... or get divorced, so find themselves back in the same place, like my parents. So, you could either chance upon that elusive someone in your mid-fifties, or you could have built such a life for yourself that you didn't care any more.

MissConstrue,

You are half my age, and therefore not "old."

Sincerely,

Fnord

One of my problems is that I cannot actually 'read' struff so I have to kind of 'absorb' or 'infer' what people say and I just now realized that people say you are just 26 years old. I think that is remarkable but unfortunately I cannot remember what a 26 year old female is supposed to be like but I suppose it is a good thing to be. I remember what 34 year old females are like and I liked them so it makes sense that 26 would be good as well, maybe better but I'm just guessing. Anyway I already forgot why I was posting to begin with but if you're a human you're worth being with by somebody for sure.

Being in your 20s and not having had a relationship yet could be very very stressful. It's possible that by your 30s you'd get so bored by the whole thing that you'd stop caring.

But also, as the wise Brother John (Gray, of Mars/Venus fame) once said, paraphrasing Shakespeare or someone: some people are walkers, slow and steady; some are runners, fast out of the gate; and some are jumpers, going nowhere for the longest time, then all of a sudden making a great leap to a higher level. I think the original quotation was about being born to greatness versus having it thrust upon them or something like that. His version makes me think of tortoises, hares, and frogs. Gribbit!