lesbians seem to have it easy compared to me

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ensabah6
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20 Mar 2009, 7:20 pm

I'm looking at the thread of lesbians/bisexual, and I am impressed not only how many replied, but claim to be Aspies.

When I read about how many women who are lesbians and bisexual have had relationships and sex,
I'm kinda skeptical that they are on the spectrum, since to be dx as AS, poor social skills
are necessary, and it takes social skills to have sex.



ButtCoffee
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20 Mar 2009, 11:54 pm

I thought it took money to have sex



CelticGoddess
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20 Mar 2009, 11:57 pm

Sometimes its easier to relate with the same sex though.



ensabah6
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21 Mar 2009, 3:24 pm

ButtCoffee wrote:
I thought it took money to have sex


not if you're a lesbian



Zasha
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24 Mar 2009, 8:49 pm

ensabah6 wrote:
When I read about how many women who are lesbians and bisexual have had relationships and sex,
I'm kinda skeptical that they are on the spectrum, since to be dx as AS, poor social skills
are necessary, and it takes social skills to have sex.


Aren't you generalizing sex a bit? Yes, sex and relationships take social skills, but I wouldn't say that no aspie has ever had sex. I mean, life takes social skills, and yet we live. School takes social skills, as do friends and work. Is it hard to have a relationship with AS? f**k yes. But that doesn't mean it's impossible.



millie
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25 Mar 2009, 12:35 am

Quote:
ensabah6 wrote:
I'm looking at the thread of lesbians/bisexual, and I am impressed not only how many replied, but claim to be Aspies.

When I read about how many women who are lesbians and bisexual have had relationships and sex,
I'm kinda skeptical that they are on the spectrum, since to be dx as AS, poor social skills
are necessary, and it takes social skills to have sex.


basically - your post is ignorant and it can FRIG OFF.

i especially like the line that says I'm kinda skeptical that they are on the spectrum

I think this shows an incredible lack of insight and a good dose of ignorance. it also ignores the demographics of posters and the fact we are varied and have different traits and presentations. Not to mention different levels of life experience, not to mention the fact quite a number of women on the spectrum have been sexually abused and therefore have been sexualised quite early and may have learned to use it as a means of relating with others BECAUSE of a social skills deficit.

Read Isabelle Henault and get some info into you about sex and AS and women.

no doubt, many who post here are not on the spectrum. But many are.
I am. I am formally diagnosed. I take offence to the OP and your silly line of argument.



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25 Mar 2009, 2:19 am

Meh....a guy just as I thought.

Even if women did get laid more, why would it matter and where the hell are you getting your facts about people on the autistic spectrum and sex?

I guess it's their fault you aren't getting laid...... :?


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Nights_Like_These
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25 Mar 2009, 2:25 am

I don't know if I'd totally 100% agree with the statement that you need to have social skills to have sex, especially with the internet nowadays. I don't know if me saying that is only illuminating my biases as I'm actually a gay male (or maybe it just makes me sound like an internet whore lol).


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MissConstrue
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25 Mar 2009, 2:31 am

QFT about the social skills and sex.

Even though it would probably help in the relationship aspect. Sex and relationships, however, don't always go together.

I know for me, I use to just get drunk and....that was it. Sometimes I didn't even remember what happened.

I've known some really socially inappropriate people who have gotten laid but only without attachments involved.

EDIT:

Geez I hope no one else sees this....


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Nights_Like_These
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25 Mar 2009, 2:34 am

Maybe if ALL aspies were asexual..lol..which is obviously NOT the case.....


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Nights_Like_These
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25 Mar 2009, 2:37 am

MissConstrue wrote:

EDIT:

Geez I hope no one else sees this....


LOL

I know I was thinking about deleting mine :S


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MissConstrue
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25 Mar 2009, 2:49 am

Yeah, there were many embarassing ways I dealt with this complicated issue of sex.

I can sort of idenfity with the sexually frustrated except that I don't really feel inclined to blame a specific gender or group of people. Mostly I blame myself...>_<

I guess for me, I used alcohol and anything else to feel "socially inclined" thus confident in sexual aspects of relationships which really weren't relationships. In fact it got worse from there.

Now it's like.....abstinence for a lifetime, not that I was even that active to begin with.

Not sure if that's necessarily good but whatever....


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25 Mar 2009, 5:38 am

In earlier adulthood, I managed to get into relationships without using any social skills, and I was asexual. Male strangers often just approached out of nowhere. I thought they were trying to get to know me as a friend, then, before you know it, they're holding your hand or kissing you. It was maintaining relationships that was the tricky part.



garyww
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25 Mar 2009, 1:58 pm

I do not meant to involve myself in a women discussion but lack of social skills doesn't mean you can't have sex and in general my lifetime observation is that lesbians do indeed have it 'easy' compared to almost every other type of people one might encounter. I think it is primarily because 'they' have a broader base of support in society.


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Nights_Like_These
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26 Mar 2009, 1:30 am

MissConstrue wrote:
Yeah, there were many embarassing ways I dealt with this complicated issue of sex.

I can sort of idenfity with the sexually frustrated except that I don't really feel inclined to blame a specific gender or group of people. Mostly I blame myself...>_<

I guess for me, I used alcohol and anything else to feel "socially inclined" thus confident in sexual aspects of relationships which really weren't relationships. In fact it got worse from there.

Now it's like.....abstinence for a lifetime, not that I was even that active to begin with.

Not sure if that's necessarily good but whatever....


You definitely wouldn't be the first person to use alcohol to feel less socially inept. My dad was the same way, even my sister to a certain extent. I wouldn't be surprised if that is quite common among aspies to be honest.


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millie
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26 Mar 2009, 2:52 am

Quote:
garyww wrote:
I do not meant to involve myself in a women discussion but lack of social skills doesn't mean you can't have sex and in general my lifetime observation is that lesbians do indeed have it 'easy' compared to almost every other type of people one might encounter. I think it is primarily because 'they' have a broader base of support in society.


oh you are just an honorary girl anyway, gary. so don't worry about involving yourself in the discussion. (that is a compliment.)

Maybe it is in fact the TYPE of lesbians you've met. I've met all the dudded out ones who end up in NA and AA and they haven't had it easy. And i don't know if they have a broader base in society either. i kind of think that is a misconception - the idea of Minority Unity. a bit of an assumption- i'm just thinking about this as i am of course half-gay. :lol: