Frightened of men

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I'm only 20 years old but a lot of bad stuff has happened to me involving men. I was verbally and physically (not sexually) abused by my father, bullied by a gang of boys, mugged by a large lad, sexually assulted in a park by a teenager and pushed off a bus by a yob and now I am terrified of all men. If a man comes near me, I start to tremble, even if they are frendly. I freak out if they touch me, even if its just a friendly handshake or hand on the shoulder. It's ruining my life because I just can't cope being alone with a guy. Has anyone else had a similar problem or have some advice?

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I was wondering if you are a guy? I sometimes feel the same way you do around straight guys.

I wish I was but my genetics say different!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

Poor thing, I feel with you!

Clearly its an phobia that has grown in you and tends to develope further. No wonder... You have to start practising to meet men regularly so it doesnt give such anxiety reactions in you. Do it in grades, starting with the easiest way to confront them. Make sure you have a female friend with you so you wont feel so naked in the situation.

Start with standing behind a man in a queue and then breath deeply. Try to relax and do it a few times. Hopefully you by time can breath normally just beeing close to him without either talking to him and not even see his face. Its a good start up thing as its also very short moment.
Then you develope your practise further. Trying to sit next to a man on the bus/train. After this step then it comes to shake hands and so on.
Take this progress in your own time and dont rush it too fast. You have to feel comfident with the first situation before developing it to more difficult stages. If it doesnt help you then you would have to consult proffessional therapy help.

I wish you good luck!

i had this exact same fear but the other way round, girls, especially girly girls, terrified me...i benefitted from meeting some tomboyish females, this altered my perception somewhat as we were on a more even keel and i felt they had less power to hurt me/make me feel small...

i dunno, try and hang out with some effeminate/sensitive guys, it may aid your perspective.

I'm pretty much afraid of all or most men, because they don't usually seem to understand why I find some behaviours hurtful. It's more a serious lack of trust than a phobia, though. I am generally afraid of what they will say, or try to do, but I can be around them and not shake. I'm just seriously tense and on my guard.

I think I used to be more fearful, but then I took a self defence class (Model Mugging), and that seemed to help a lot. Also, just watching out for obvious exceptions to the pattern I grew up with helps. A Native elder I met in Calgary in the early '90s was one such exception - for some reason I did feel safe with him, and that took some of the edge off.

I used to be that way, after several unpleasant incidents with men. I'm a little more mellow now. Part of it is that I worked in health care for awhile, and my clientele were elderly men, who posed no threat. I got used to handling them and talking to them, thus giving me the "power"position.

I think that you might have post traumatic stress disorder.