pregnant aspie

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I am 34 weeks pregnant. My husband and I are both probably AS (self diagnosed). I read somewhere that it's almost a sure bet that our daughter will have Asperger's. Does anyone else here have kids? Are your kids Aspies too?

Yes, I do and yes she is. My father was Aspie. Two of his three kids were/are on the spectrum. His mother was somewhere on the spectrum, given all the stories we have of her. Of her 12 kids, at least 1 was full low-functioning autistic, one was a higher-functioning something, and at least two were close enough to Aspie to be called Aspie. Of all of those, only one was a female. That leaves 6 surviving kids who seem to have been more or less NT (the other 2 died young).

There are several threads for Aspie parents/by Aspie parents on the board. Good luck! (And sleep now, because you sure won't later!)

I am under the spectrum, my son is under the spectrum and my uncle is definitely under the spectrum even though he has never been diagnosed. So its possible... but not a definite. My daughter is not at all under the spectrum but she has ADHD which I also have. Good luck with everything And YES rest up!

I found somewhere that if just one of the parents are on the spectrum, then there's 80 % chance for that your child is going to be too.

My daughter fell into that lucky 20 then

Genetics is a funny thing. I have brown eyes and I am the only person in our family who has brown eyes and the only person anyone can think of who had brown eyes before me was my Great great grandmother who was Hungarian! The chances of autism/AS will go up if you both have it, however there is never a guarantee. Neither of my parents have AS or Tourette syndrome but I have! It came from my Grandpa most likely!

I have six children. 2 are diagnosable (1 more impaired than the other), 3 are "odd" but NT, and one is too young to tell.

I have 2 children.. I am starting to have my doubt about my children... I just dont know how to check wether they are aspies or not! (to be honest i dont really mind them to be.)

I am planning to get married next year, we don't have children yet but we want to. My mom is extremely against us having children and does NOT want us to. She talks about me having Asperger's like it is the worst thing ever!!

sorry, but i dont think your mum is right to dictate what you are going to do... Why shouldn't you have any children?
Do you think that having asperger is for you the worst thing in your life?
Maybe she couldn t deal with it.
But i know it is not easy to deal with some behaviour (*my son's obession is tiger, and he can sream for hours if he cannot find his tiger... sometimes it is like his deaf. I have to shout for him to hear me. But he is not deaf, he is just in his games too much that he cannot hear anything around him...) But you get used to it. And you start dealing with it.

Having children is great, whether they are aspie or not, it is very rewarding. Everynight, even if i had a hard day, i am glad that they are here.
Have children when YOU are ready. If it is now, then fine! It is you and your hubby who are going to educate them, not your mother! If you are old enough to make a serious decision like getting married, then you are more than ready to have children.

My advice is READ a lot about children, pregnancy... Ask people what it is like having children. Prepare yourself. It is so great having those little monsters!! !

We should listen to our mum advices, but for that, i dont think so!! !

It's not your mother's business. Being under the autism spectrum is not like the worst thing in the world.. sure it has its challenges but I mean come on. Besides its happening more and more. She has no right.

I am sorry about derailing this thread but I really, really appreciate the advice so much. I know how much my fiance loves kids, and he says he is fine if we have kids, or if we don't. I guess our main priority right now would be getting him better (dislocated hip and shattered pelvis) but maybe in a couple years!

I'm an aspie, my husband is on the spectrum, and we intentionally had a child. Our child is, so far, more normal than either of us (although the jury is still out on his place on the AS). I was the one who was critical of "making someone like me". I have some experience with genetics, so I had a hard time with the idea of intentionally passing on faulty genes (more than just the AS). I believed then and now that it made more sense from a genetics standpoint to "recycle" a baby - adopt. My husband, however, who was adopted, had a strong drive to be related to someone by more than just law and to actually make a child. I let him win.

My reasoning is that we, as aspies, are in a better position to address potential problems as they arise. After your beautiful girl is born, you can start surfing the parenting forum if you get "stuck" on something.

Sleep well, breakfastsurreal, and cross this off your worry list for now. If you don't already have one, get a comprehensive baby book so that when your baby has a bizarre rash, you can figure out if you need to go to change soap, go to the doctor, or go to the hospital. I liked the Dr. Sears Baby Book. Your preference may vary.

Then try to refocus on the fun stuff.

I am aspie diagnosed and my dad and grandad are both almost certainlly aspies but not diagnosed it does run in families.

you know, if it is of great concern to you.... there are many children in foster care who would greatly benefit from being adopted into a family who wants them just as they are. one of the perks is that you won't have to change diapers ever - unless you choose that situation.

best of luck.

I'm self-diagnosed too, and I come from a long line of undiagnosed people with "issues." We were probably the type that they were always talking about in the melodramas 80 or so years ago... Y'know, healthy happy and bright young man or woman's pending nuptials are doomed when he/she finds out that his/her father didn't in fact die but has been in the insane asylum for 20 years. Noble youth cancels wedding because he/she can never have a family for fear of passing on the disease.

I am either ADD or Aspie, or something very similar that has yet to be named, and also suffer from "spikes" which are sudden shocking thoughts that just pop into my head, not urges but upsetting images or ideas, which I finally identified when reading about OCD...

I have a daydreaming daughter who can't understand why she should have to do homework or why she shouldn't scream in her friends' faces or jump at them. I also a brilliant little son who can't sit still to save his life and who freaks out once he gets in trouble and tries to escape and works himself up into such a state of rage when things don't go his way that I wonder if he might hurt himself or others... but has great grades. And I have a smart, seemingly logical 2-year-old who is concerned when someone cries and frequently hugs and kisses people and loves to care for her baby dolls, and seems to be reasoning on a level that her siblings have scarcely reached. Of course, she has them to learn from, but still. They are all thoroughly delightful and as thoroughly exasperating.

I understand that my great-grandma was always having to leave jobs because of personality issues, saying something she shouldn't have, that sort of thing... and she was a cleaning lady, so I can only imagine what she must have done to get fired. My mom has Aspie traits. My dad had OCD traits and mom believes he was ADHD. I have 8 siblings who vary from neurotypical to diagnosed ADHD, and a couple of nephews have been diagnosed, one each, as ADHD and Aspie. Their mom was one of the NTs in my family, and their dad is NT.

What does it all mean? I have no idea. I think I had a point when I started. That's my trouble... am I Aspie because I went on too long or ADD because I lost track of my point...

Anyway, I think what I'm saying is that too many people think they can say one way or another, black-and-white, if you is or if you ain't. I think you may, like me, wonder if your kid has what you have or ends up seeming to have it because you raised her. She'll be born and you'll get to know her like you do with people, and unless she's doing something far beyond what 99% of people do, she'll be like other babies, crawling when she first crawls and walking when she first walks, whenever she figures it out, totally normal for her, and stimming like mad because babies do. They find an interesting sound or movement and off they go.

But to answer your question...

Yeah, it could happen.