Do you always realise it if you're insulted?

Post Reply New Topic

Do you always realise it if someone means to insult you or another person?

Until I was about ten, I never realised that people insulted me or made fun of me except one time in school. I didn't even know any popular swearwords other than "damn". Anyways, I didn't get it when I was insulted or made fun of until a girl I had considered a friend told me she would make my life hell and started calling me names.

Today I'm quick at picking up on the slightest mocking, which turns out to be pretty annoying, because I'm not entirely sure when someone is only telling jokes and when someone really means it.

Some with Aspergers said they have always been aware of insults directed at them. I wonder if there are more people like me who didn't get it/don't get it!

I'm pretty bad at picking up subtlety in conversation unless I'm really forcing myself to pay attention (almost never the case) so I'm terrible at telling if someone is insulting me or just joking.

As a kid, I could almost never tell when a person was being nice or bullying me. As a result, I got hurt a great deal. However, as I have gotten older (now 51), I have become much better at it. Still, I do mess up from time to time.

I was always oblivious to insults. Like you, I'm better at recognizing them now; maybe I'm even a little defensive sometimes. It's most difficult for me when the insults are jokes, because when people are laughing it can be hard to know whether they're having fun or insulting you. It LOOKS so fun, but...

Ya, absolutly, as a kid I could be being insulted and be oblivious. As a teen I was quite defencive and took things as insults when they did not mean to be, that was probably the worst cause they could be joking with ya as a way to kinda except ya and when ya blow up at them they no longer wanna be around you or they then get defencive. As an adult I certainly pick my battles much better and have learned alot. Im 25 and at work I certainly can 90% of the time distinguish insults VS joking around.

What nominalist said.

Yes, but I may realize at a slower pace - but one way or another, the knowledge of me being insulted - I will become aware... the brain may just channel it differently.

I just didn't have an idea till my forties of how cunning NTs can be and how warped they can be to us. I considered good friends for a long time people who despised me and did anything to show it, I just didn't notice.

When I was 14, some wrestler asked if I was stronger than him. I replied, 'maybe'. We were about the same weight. He replied to the other students near him, "In his mind he thinks he's stronger than me." I didn't know what that meant then.

I usually was oblivious to them. Sometimes I'd catch on though; in 7th grade someone told me "Those voices in your head are telling you that" as a response to some comment I made.

Often, I would also think people liked me when they really hated me. I didn't know why it was impolite to call people fat when they were, for example. People used to pick on me for speech impediments and the way I talked, and later on around middle school I caught on that they were joking and in certain cases seemed to mean no malice by it. So I'd start joking about the abnormal things about them(such as being fat, or having odd facial features), and they'd get extremely upset or frustrated. This confused me.

And this is why I quit talking to people in general for a period of a few years when I changed high schools at age 16. Everyone at the new high school thought I was weird or scary, or that I was going to shoot the school up.



People are frustrating.

No, i never realized how often i was being insulted until a couple of years ago.. People used to say the darndest things about me too. Although, i must admit, this has it's advantages..

Usually not till later when I have time to replay the conversation in my head. Then i'm thinking why did they say that? What did they mean by that? What did I do that would have made them say that to me?

i've learned lots of heavy ironic/sarcastic (? I've just realised i'm not quite sure what the difference is) responses as protection, but in early teens was taken in/surprised over and over again by others seeming friendly , talking, apparently asking questions or offering things, only to discover was steps to mocking or tricking me. Very painful.
I think i've become very scared of not understanding , and consequently wary of taking seriously, peoples suggestions, offers, etc.

I think it was worse than the insults themselves actually, was not knowing how they meant stuff.