Which is worse?

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visiting is set on a clock according to common curtosy. arrive on time and when expected not late and unnoticfied

It annoys me when someone says thay are going to turn and they don't I mean come on I think it is downright rude when someone doesn't turn up and I find it inconvenient when someone doesn't turn when they say they are. I mean I could have something better to do than wait around for them not to turn up.

I don't mind people stopping in unannounced. I'm usually happily surprised and it eliminates the stress of knowing someone is coming and preparing for the visit by making sure the house is clean and everything is tidied up. Our visits are always more enjoyable when I haven't stressed myself out in anticipation.

When people say they are coming and give me a date and time - and then fail to show without even a phone call to cancel - that really pisses me off. It's incredibly rude. I don't take them at their word after that and loose respect for them. Making any future plans with them is pointless and that is disappointing, since I like to be able to rely on people doing what they say they will do, and when I can no longer depend on them to follow through, why bother to plan anything with them again.

I have to say both, but I have been guilty of the second. When I was a student, I had a habit of turning up at other student's appartments at obscure times of the day, because they wanted my help sometime. They never specified when, and it is not my fault I was free at 2am...

I hate it when people turn up unexpectedly...

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CF what does this mean ..?

To answer my own question more fully:

When people don't turn up, I normally just roll my eyes, and get on with life. It is disappointing sometimes, but not the end of the world.

When people turn up unexpectedly, I panic. I had had my day set out in my head. I was not expecting socialisation. I do not deal well with the unexpected, especially something which I find difficult, such as social interaction.

I hate it when people say they're gonna do somethnig and then don't, they are unpredictable enought even without that kind of behaviour. However, I tolerate a few minutes lateness, noone is perfect, but if it's more than that I prefer to be notified.

I don't mind having friends drop by without notice. If I'm busy I can always turn them away at the door, and most ppl I know are kind enough to call to check if I'm at home and if it's ok if they drop by.

Once I even managed to arrange a surprise for myself, I asked a friend from out of time that was in town at this occation to stop by the day after and then I forgot it and he droped by the day after. That was fun.