Why do we whine so much but do nothin to solve our problems?

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I know that feeling all too well. It made my last three years of college hell.

I hardly ever whinge.

I don't "whine" in the classical sense... I merely acknowledge that I have certain skill deficits. I know I can't dance, do heavy athletics, or socialize in general... On the other hand, I know that I am very capable in mathematics and computers (at least compared to the general population...) I don't make any excuses for my deficits, I don't bring AS into the conversation, I just tell people that that's the way it is, and nothing is going to change that... accept me as I am or leave me alone...

AS is not the problem... AS is the solution to the NT problem...

I want to be a hundred foot tall robot that can smash cities.

But I have settled for being myself.

I have my good points.

AS has made a great improvment in my life, anything I do not want to do, is NT foolishness.

that's not exactly how i would summarize learned helplessness, and i wouldn't say it accounts for all depression either, but i do recall the first time i heard about it in a Psych Sensation and Perception class... that experiment with those dogs... they finally open the cage but the dogs won't move, won't escape the electric shocks, they just lie there and whine and whine and won't move...

i've cried about those dogs a lot.

also, in Environmental Psych, there are a lot of interesting ties to learned helplessness, and also overcrowing and overstimulation, and theories about why urbanities make less eye contact

but i have not solved the mystery of how you become motivated. i took a Psych class called Motivation, only to find that there is no answer to HOW you get some, just that the word itself means you are driven to DO whatever. this was very disappointing as i thought there would be more to it than a circular definition... and it would be nice to inject my apathy with some purpose...

i think i whine in an attempt to either shame myself into action or inspire myself to fix it by pointing out how easy it would be, or some other tactic...

i whine in an attempt to motivate myself.

I think aspies don't know how to whine whereas NTs are the squeaky wheel getting the grease. Watching Heather get lost in Shanghai on America's Next Top Model and how the other model said that if she had been Heather, she'd already be in tears, I thought it's not that the aspie isn't feeling anything. It's just different. If anything the aspie sucking it up should get MORE sympathy and more credit than an NT crier but that's not the real world.

I think we need a clear organized record of what is aspie behavior and we need to do it coldly and clinically as some of us are very good at being and then we need to force that body of research on the media persistently as some of us are very good at being. We need someone who can focus and track. And we have to know what to ask for and that means understanding ourselves so this "whining" is the beginning of the work so don't resent yourselves for venting. This is all part of the work.

I believe that's called human angst.

Or, conversely, you could start a 12 step program for this (I am unsure what a 12 step problem is):

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Feel better? Just don't fall down the steps!

Hello. I am the Lab Pet. I am autistic.
Now let's all hug.

Okay, that's it. NOW I am going to whine. I had my previous post nicely formatted so the steps were in stairstep formation, not in line! Someone call the IT crisis line.

Otherwise, I (mostly) like being autistic (ie: infinite mind, endless patterns, enhanced senses, etc) - there are caveats though, certainly. But I am grateful.

Especially given the alternative........ being a raging neurotypical!





Can someone fix my stairstep?

your stairs are fine, they are just being seen from a direct angle and not from the side.

I don't like ppl whining when there's something they can do to solve or correct the problem. I'm fine with ppl whining if they can't do anything to change the situation.

I think once you accept that you're a failure and nothing you'll ever do will ever matter, then the fight is more or less over.

Whining is a part of being human. Complaint is the first step towards improvement, whether it's complaint about oneself, one's government or the world at large, you need to identify problems to be able to fix them.

But you need to overcome defeatism.

I've improved my life a lot. Is there more that I want to change? Hell yeah! Am I doing something towards that... Well, yes. I could be doing more.

But slowly and surely I'm improving everything about my life just a little bit.

Why do some people confuse requests with whining? There are plenty of possible answers for that...

Human nature?

Why do pencils have erasers?

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

I don't whine much. But I want to. A lot of things you can't do anything about. Acceptance is hard. Doing something about problems is hard. Whining is easy. Whining can sometimes be a first step towards solutions. If you whine, someone may hear and help you.

I find that if I keep whining about something, and keep working on it in my brain, that a solution will present itself eventually. Like when my computer repair business initially failed, I whined a lot about it and got booted off a forum or two because of it. But eventually I realized that if I learned how to fix laptop DC jacks, that I would then have a business because that's 90% of what people wanted me to do, and I couldn't. So that's what I'm working on now.

If anybody reads The Science Of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, which is available as a free download, he says in there that if you wish for something hard enough, and keep working at it, that eventually a way to achieve it will be presented to you. I thought I wanted to be rich and powerful, but I don't have the personality for it. Now I just want to be a hermit in the woods, which I'm much better suited for. I have no doubt that eventually I'll be a hermit in the woods one day, because it's what I'm suited for. You need to wish for something that's within your temperament to achieve. It seems to me that a lot of aspie depression comes from being stuck in unworkable living situations, especially with incompetent and/or insane family members. Most of the rest seems to be from being unable to pay bills. If we can solve those two problems, the rest will fall into place.

I do everything in my power to NOT do this. I hope this doesn't become associated with aspergers, because it is not me. I can't stand people who do this.