Anyone else NOT stuck in Routines?

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My everyday life has very little routine - a lot less than most NT's I think. For example, when I get up in the morning and get ready for work, I don't do it in any particular order. One day I may brush my teeth first, another day I'll feed the cats, another another I'll put my contacts in first, etc. Sometimes I shower in the morning, sometimes before bed. I don't even always get dressed in the same order. When I get to work, I might start with checking my email, or maybe organize my desk, or maybe just jump right into drafting, or possibly remember to do the small-talk socializing with co-workers that we are supposed to do, etc, etc.

Anyone else very non-routine like that?

What I am stuck in is different: things that are totally out of my control, I have expectations as to how things are "supposed" to go, and when they don't go the way I think they should, that's when I can have meltdowns. Like if I'm driving somewhere and I get lost and think I'll be late for an appointment - I'll totally burst into frustrated tears. Or if my train taking me home from work stops for 15 minutes because the train in front of it broke down - even if I'm just going home to do nothing at all, and it's not even late in the day, it drives me crazy that I'm not getting home when I "should" and I get really agitated.

It's like I have a need for everything not under my control to go a certain way, but things totally under my control can go any-which-way. Am I totally backwards and weird or what?

I find myself marching into place in certain social situations. Like ill find a place to go stand when entering and then go walk over rigidly, with my sole intent on getting to that space (even if its a spacious empty enviornment) and then turn abruptly to face a certain way.

Im also obsessed with moral codes and not breaking them, even for a joke, it makes me angry to see people mock certain morals, break them for a joke even if no harm is done, talk badly of them.

Inm also quite a maticulous talker, I feel the desire to maticulously explain something and cover all the options to prove an arguement even when I know that it is socially wrong and annoying the other person.

Its like I can act normal in that way, but I have an urge to be maticulous build up and up in me if I dont until i at some point release a large amount of matuiculous arguing. I also feel wuite sad If I dont get the chance to argue maticulously.


Its weird, Ive learnt to repress these anti-social traits in social situations, but i still feel an urge to follow them through and I become absent when I repress these anti social traits.

Last edited by Ipunes on 20 Dec 2007, 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am exactly "non-routine" as you described. It drives me crazy not to be in control of what I do and when but i have no rigid routines. I hate when I am delayed getting home, but once I'm home there's no order to what I do.

I'm more ADD when it comes to routines. There are things I almost always do at certain times but they are generally related to procastinating, venting stress and indulging but the truth is that I'm very bad a following pre-established routines. I'm almost always late for everything and end up sabotaging most of my schedule.

I can be late because I was getting dressed and suddenly decided it was a good idea to look up some random animal on wikipedia but then, if I run into a traffic jam , I can feel pretty bloodthirsty and full of contempt - between actual anger and a maniacal rage. I'm very impatient.

I very much relate to this thread. I have been stuck in routines in the past, and I really like the idea of routines...I just cannot adhere to them....aside from my rigid scheule of goofing off

I like routine, but I can't follow it or create it.

YES



LOL. I relate too. This trait of ASD peeps and other neuro atypical folk is usually attributed to Executive Function Disorder. This "sub-condition" causes difficulty with planning and organizing, so while the person may benefit from routines yet has trouble establishing and sticking to them.

Likewise, there's a low threshold for frustration, especially when one's expectations aren't met or thrawted by othe people or things beyond one's control. So if you expect to be home by 5, and find yourself stuck at traffic at 4:55, you'll be quite frustrated. Another trait of EFD is difficulty overriding and regulating negative feelings like frustration, disappoinment or anger. So sometimes, the negative feeling just festered to the point the person has a meltdown or gets enraged.

Part of the therapeutic approach to EFD is teaching people how to plan routines and stick with them, because generally people with EFD do better overall if there are some routines they follow. But these usually have to be simple routines, at least at first, like "Take the trash out every morning" or "Brush my teeth right before going to bed every night." Sometiem a small reward system is used, like if you do the routine everyday of the week, ou give yourself a small reward. These works pretty well with children, but I've done myself and I'm an adult. Beside I like any excuse to give myself an reward.

Another part of the therapuetic process is tackling that frsutration problem. This is more cognitive therapy, where the people has to larn to "talk through" their frustration in the head, like "OK, I'm mad becuse I wanted to get home at 5, and this traffic jam's out of my control. I have to accept that getting mad right now only makes the situation for me worse and that getting home a little late is not as bad as it seems to me right now." And so forth.

Yeah, well, it's good advice, and it does work....if my EFD lets me remember to follow it. LOL

I don't have specific routines. I tend to visit websites in a certain order and things like that, but I don't get upset if that changes. What does upset me is not being able to plan what I'm going to do in the future. For example, I'd be all excited thinking Sunday was a free day and I didn't have school or work - then on Saturday I check the work log and see they scheduled me - I'll have a meltdown. It's like I need to prepare far in advance if I'm going to have a somewhat busy schedule. If the 5 days busy - 2 days free cycle is broken without me planning in advance, I get very agitated. I also can't stand going partying when there's no clear time we're going to end and no clear plans. I need to know what Im going to have to do in advance, and if I have to have to unexpectedly do something, I get upset. Not in all cases, but in general. However, if I was planning on doing something, and it gets cancelled and I can stay at home, I'm relieved, not upset. Basically, I just don't like to not have control over my schedule. But once I'm home or in a situation, I don't have rigid rules.

I like change; I think it keeps me healthy. Routines are usually evil for me. I like stimulation... and trying out a lot of different things to find what works for me!

You're really on to something there. I totally do better if I can recognize why I'm getting frustrated, as long as I see it before I hit the boiling point. I tell myself there's nothing I can do about it, and I have to actually do something to shrug it off - I make the motion of physically shaking it off, or I laugh at myself a little, and then I can get myself back under control. Because at the end of the day, the only thing we really have control of is our selves, when we can even do that!

I don't have a routine.

I don't have time for them for that matter.

I'm in college.

Yep, that fits me like a glove. Stimulation helps keep my stamina and determination up, so mixing things up every-day helps me get by with daily tasks.

The only part that frustrates me is when something gets forgotten or left over and I put it aside for days and days until I finally go after to tackle it when it reaches a critical point.

I try everything to break routine it's nothing personal with me it's just I don't like the idea of doing the same at the same time everyday the problem is I end up in a routine without thinking.

My son doesn't care that much about routines but he is otherwise a completely typical aspie.

Nah, I don't think so, I have habits, which are most likley done unconciously.

I like to have routines but I also like to change them. Sometimes I can be very flexible with them and sometimes very small things throw me off disproportionately. As long as I can do things in a way that makes sense to me, I'm fine, routines or not.