rossc wrote:
TLPG wrote:
I've been on the other end believe it or not. I've had a fellow Aspie try and bring me down, calling on me to stop fighting because I'll get nowhere so there's no point. I dumped her as a friend after she refused to apologise for telling me how to run my life. She insisted she was being a friend for crying out loud!
All the time I knew her I knew her self esteem was down, and I made a big effort to try and pull her up. And she tries to drag me down to her level. No thank you!
I value self esteem. I put down fellow Aspies who try to contradict that and pull me down in whatever way they do. It's called self preservation because I know what's it's like to have low self esteem and what can happen - and I'm not going back there. Anyone who tries to pull me down or otherwise tell me what to do or think cops it - unless of course it's done politely and constructively (in which case I don't see it as a pull down or some such act).
I guess it could be argued that I'm over protective of my self esteem! Well you would be to if you'd been through what I have!
Ouch! That was not very friendly of you. Sounded like she was trying to do the right thing. Maybe her level was not a bad level to be?
Why bring up what you have been through. All of us are on the spectrum. We all have been through difficult times. You can not compare your difficulties or experiences with ours because you don't know what we have been through. Silly comment. Maybe you need to Get Over It.
I completely disagree with you here (and telling her to "get over it" was uncalled for). TLPG sounds like she did everything she could to bring her friend up; at some point you have to let go and take care of yourself if someone is dragging you down. I do not believe for one second that being depressed and negative is ever a good level to be at.
TLPG - good for you! Taking care of yourself is never a selfish thing to do. You tried to help someone and then realized the relationship was only going to be detrimental to you so you walked away. That was a very healthy thing to do. Being a martyr is overrated.
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"...he had acquired the conviction that one had to concern oneself with the rational, not the insane... - that the senseless, the wrong, the monstrously unjust could not work, could not succeed, could do nothing but defeat itself."