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ebec11
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18 Jan 2008, 11:28 pm

I have Aspergers, and I've always wanted a little girl. But I don't want her to go through the rough stuff that I've gone through with Autism, and my family genes are pretty strong for Autism on my Dad's side, and just plain ol' psychos on my mom's side :lol:
I have a while yet to think about this, but I want to know the risks involved.



WinterRose
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18 Jan 2008, 11:32 pm

I told my mom once that i was thinking about adopting because i didn't want to pass along my problems to my children, she asked me that if given the choice would i have chosen not to be born because of my problems.

But if that doesn't change your mind, there is always adoption. People wait for years to adopt babies, but there are lots of children out there and lots of older children that need homes. Also children from other countries, but that is becoming more and more difficult and complicated over the years.


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ebec11
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18 Jan 2008, 11:35 pm

I don't wish I wasn't born, but the fact is I have SEVERE Autism in my family, and I wouldn't want my baby to go through that
I have a big desire to adopt from Africa as well, but it would look odd considering I'm extremely pale skinned :D



AspieDave
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18 Jan 2008, 11:36 pm

My wife and I both are Aspie's and we have two boys with Asperger's.... never regretted it for a moment. They have their difficulties, but so does any kid. They DO have a bit of an easier time than I did, I think, because we have a name and some knowledge about how they are and WHY they are the way they are... it helps us and them cope.


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WinterRose
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19 Jan 2008, 12:03 am

ebec11 wrote:
I have a big desire to adopt from Africa as well, but it would look odd considering I'm extremely pale skinned :D


Nothing wrong with interracial families. :D


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19 Jan 2008, 12:53 am

I have the same worries, i had classic functioning autism as a child, moderate-severe, but now that im very high functioning, i want to have children as well, and I know it runs through my family as well. I know whatever god gives me, i'll do as much as i can to make sure that child is happy no matter what the diagnosis. I also have tourettes, which is genetic as well, and i dont have a severe case of that, but my doctor said that could pass down as well, and can be ten times more severe then me, which terrifies me as well. I also have other things that will be passed down, but i wont let that stop me from having a child. See with me, i just hope the child gets my NT bf's genes more then mine, but either way i'm prepared hehe.

Anyways what im saying is don't let genetics stop you from doing what you want, and its not always true that it will pass down to your child, might just pass down to your grandchildren or your great grandchildren. Also if you want to adopt, nothing wrong with adopting either, i was adopted, so yea you dont always know what your going to get hahaha. :lol:


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edal
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19 Jan 2008, 10:41 am

Not sure about AS but I carry the gene for Cystic Fybrosis so I decided not to have kids a long time ago. If everyone did the same as me (and quite a few are) then the disease would be wiped off the planet in two generations.

Ed Almos



OregonBecky
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19 Jan 2008, 6:29 pm

Motherhood is hard for people on the spectrum, in my case, because I wanted to be alone too much. I felt awkward around the other parents so my kids weren't as involved in a lot of stuff that NT parents involve their kids in.

On the other side, communication between my 2 HF kids and me is very good. They are very creative and popular but they, in autism spectrum fashion, are growing up more slowly than NT kids so they're more dependent on us in their 20's than, I think that NT kids usually are.

Then hardest thing for me is that I have low functioning daughter. Her future isn't very good unless I figure out how to make some big changes in our local autism community.


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Liverbird
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19 Jan 2008, 6:48 pm

I'm AS and my 16 year old son is as well. At the time I didn't know that autism was prevalent in my family. Now, in retrospect, I realise that we're running rampant in my family.

Motherhood has been difficult. However, early on in my son's life with all the sensory integration issues, etc, it made me more in tune to him and want he needed from me as a parent. It also made getting him the appropriate therapies look less silly. I mean, rolling around on a giant ball is pretty silly, but it made him feel SO much better.

So, it's good and bad. Some days you may absolutely not be able to deal with it. Other days you will know instinctively want to do. If you do have kids, just listen to your brain when you need to know what your baby needs. Do for them what you would do for yourself.


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pakled
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19 Jan 2008, 9:25 pm

could you? Absolutely! it's trying not to that's the hard part..;)

something that life-changing is something you'd want to think about seriously. Once done, there's no going back. Having children can be a great reward, or a great blessing (depending on whether they're teething or not..;), so discuss it with your partner, when you feel it is time...



ebec11
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21 Jan 2008, 10:00 pm

pakled wrote:
could you? Absolutely! it's trying not to that's the hard part..;)

something that life-changing is something you'd want to think about seriously. Once done, there's no going back. Having children can be a great reward, or a great blessing (depending on whether they're teething or not..;), so discuss it with your partner, when you feel it is time...

I'm only 16, so I have time, I just really worry about that. I have extreme anxiety, which might not help, but I just wondered (24/7) if I could.



Ginap73
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21 Jan 2008, 10:40 pm

I would love to have a child, but I have no means to even meeting a boyfriend much less a husband. I live with my family and barely go out. They would not take me anywhere to meet anyone either.



Azharia
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22 Jan 2008, 9:32 am

I am aspie, and it is rampant in my family.
And me and y possibly aspie husband are expecting a baby. :)

I do have a cousin with severe autism, and I have worried about passing that on, but I met with a specialist in nutrition, and am taking as many specialized steps as possible to give baby best start in life.
And I'd be delighted with a cute lil aspie like me.

Don't worry about it so much. You have plenty of time to decide, and there are things you can do to lessen the risk. :) And there are a lot of kids out there that need adopting too!



beau99
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22 Jan 2008, 9:40 am

Azharia wrote:
I am aspie, and it is rampant in my family.
And me and y possibly aspie husband are expecting a baby. :)

Awesome :D


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22 Jan 2008, 10:06 am

I personally don't ever want to have a child (I am a woman and get the painful bit...) because I have such severe problems caused by my AS, TS and severe OCD. I think it would be unfair on the child who would probably end up looking after me, however I am not particularly high functioning (except for writing skills) and I think someone who can look after themself fine can have a kid. You'll probably do a better job than some of the NT parents out there!


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Aspie_Chav
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22 Jan 2008, 10:12 am

ebec11 wrote:
I have Aspergers, and I've always wanted a little girl. But I don't want her to go through the rough stuff that I've gone through with Autism, and my family genes are pretty strong for Autism on my Dad's side, and just plain ol' psychos on my mom's side :lol:
I have a while yet to think about this, but I want to know the risks involved.


To compensate for this, you need date a socially stable chav , so you children will balance out.

The task is very hard for guys, for a start. How am I going to get a girl who is polar opposite under and under 30 years old.

There is one girl at work, who is the beauty of the office, that would be good for me to produce healthy children. I know she will not go out with me because I asked. I am less shy about asking a girl who I wouldn't be serious with.

Whenever she finds a new guy, I like to say his he more handsome then me. She always says yes he is. She sounds so cute when she said to me. I haven't got a musclely body.