purplesky wrote:
Perhaps the lack of empathy we are described as having is actually possessing a well-developed sense of justice. Neurotypicals often denigrate and insult a person while alive but elevate the person to a position of godhood on the day of death. Neurotypicals also expect one to feel empathy for a complete piece of (****) in peril; in actuality the person is getting what he deserves. This explains why so many of them stay with abusive boyfriends or spouses; they can't separate fact (being that of the person's actions against you) from emotion. Why do they have the custom of hating a person while alive yet adoring the person while dead? They are the definition of hypocritical human beings.
Why some people (and I think some Aspies can be included in this group along with some NTs) behave in this way is a very complicated matter, including but not limited to childhood experiences, issues of inadequacy, neurosis, psychosocial patterns, strong habits, and more.
I have learned to "feel" an "equivalence" of empathy (my emotional feelings "mimic" the feelings of another without needing to express that feeling), and when aware of someone in a position of self-created peril, I feel this "empathy" for them, and I am aware of believing that even though they put themselves in trouble and that that is not good, It is also not good to suffer at the hands of another, regardless of the circumstances, and therefore not deserved (perhaps I speak of feeling
compassion?). This comes from suffering myself, at the hands of another, wether I created the situation or not. To feel that one's own suffering is not deserved, while another's is, may be hipocritical. It's like locking a person away for wrongdoing without helping them fix themselves - the cycle repeats once you let them out and
the world is no better.
Perhaps one should ask: Can these people separate
beneficial living from
neurotic living?
I know my sense of justice comes from not wanting to see others suffer the way I have suffered, while understanding those who make others suffer may have suffered in some unseen way themselves. I see it as wrong to make another suffer, at the same time unjust to merely punish the perpetrator, someone once said "success is the best revenge", rehabilitating an offender into a healed person, into a "success", is the best retribution.