being able to see people for who they really are

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Postperson
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26 Jan 2008, 7:03 am

Irisrises wrote:
...,part of the reason why I have difficulty interacting with them. They contradict their internal selves with their external behaviour, not necessarily lying, just adapting too much.


yes, it's like you have to believe what they have come to believe about themselves, their 'acting' of a self, and it's all contradictory. bad acting, really.



Birdgirl
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26 Jan 2008, 6:31 pm

Yes. Though this happens without me talking to them.. I wouldn't claim that I instantly know who they are inside and out. I don't know, it may be nothing, I just get a feeling. Sometimes very strong ones, usually just by looking at them (from afar even). What they say, do or look like is completely irrelevant most of the time.
But it's depressing at times, because sometimes I will really like someone (based on my "feeling"), but the person's actions and words sort of contradict it.. even though on another level I see something else, you know?


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pakled
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26 Jan 2008, 9:20 pm

indeed. If it were only that simple..;) To be honest, NTs can be as much in denial as anyone else.
some people are just better at it than others. A famous actor (I think) once said

"Sincerity - if you can fake it, you've got it made"..;)



brfandan
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26 Jan 2008, 9:46 pm

I've also noticed and have been told that i can tell good acting from bad acting. this is probably a big part of how i can tell if people are fake. this is probably also why i dont do well in social situations, because i'm so self conscious of my own 'acting'. most things people say when they first meet someone sound so fake, because they usually are really fake, since first impressions mean so much.

i have a class now thats supposed to 'prepare us for job hunting in the working world' and the first day we worked on our 'elevator pitches'. most of the pitches were pretty laughable and sounded full of crap, because most of them were stretching the truth quite a bit. i know it makes sense to present yourself more highly than you deserve to get a job, but it still feels wrong to me. i did prepare one of the best pitches in the class, but that still doesn't mean first impressions wont be the downfall of me, i get very nervous when talking to people especially someone as intimidating as a possible employer would be, add my slight stutter and my a tendency to say UMMM and I'm dead in the water. i think i should just work hard enough so that my work speaks for itself and i don't need to rely on selling myself too much in the future.