Asperger's and HIV

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WHAT?! I dont understand how aspies are more likly to be careless as far as sex goes.

My answer is no.

I think that we could possibly be at great risk for these sorts of things because our judgement especially in teenage years is not too great. We don't know how to assess that we might possibly be in danger. Also, think about your former teenage self, especially those of you who were not diagnosed until later. More extroverted AS kids are desperate for acceptance of any kind and sex (especially for girls) is an easy in (ignore the pun).

Don't tell me all you guys that if someone you thought was gorgeous and offered to have any kind of sex with you at 16 or 17 years old, you would not have jumped at the chance. I know better. I was that girl. LOL!

Yeah, I've heard that autistic women are more likely to have sexual experience, but also more likely for most or in some cases all of it to have involved some component of sexual assault, or just plain abusive relationships. I was sexually mistreated everywhere but in the one relationship I managed, but the relationship was with a boy who was immature himself and unfortunately at the time that translated into being physically and verbally abusive, just not sexually. I didn't let him do certain kinds of things (this is the General board so I won't do detail) and he never forced me. He just got frustrated when I became periodically unable to talk or move or respond to him the way he wanted, and then he'd shake me or hit me or scream insults at me, same if I started banging my head sometimes (which was often because I was under a lot of pressure when I knew him, was losing abilities, and had adolescent hormones in full swing). But he actually tried to help me a lot of the time when things like that happened, he was just young and mixed up and totally out of his element (thought he was getting a pretty geek girl -- pretty by some standards anyway, most considered me ugly but I had all the female proportions and stuff at the time that guys usually like -- none of us knew I was autistic, and he knew I was weird but until he spent lots of time with me he didn't know exactly how weird I was), so he wasn't the monster some people imagine him to be either.

I also once had a guy I knew (who was really creepy around women) kiss me at random (out of the blue) and propose to me the same day (on the first "date" that I didn't entirely realize was a "date"). And I didn't know how to stay away from guys like that, either (or that he was being really creepy), but fortunately the professionals in my life actually did see abuse and exploitation so they told my parents to keep me away from these people. I didn't understand why, and thought I was being separated from my friends, but later realized that most of them were not my friends. Then I was also molested/sexually assaulted by a much larger number of people.

And that pattern is something you see way more often in autistic women than autistic men: We end up having guys, especially guys who want an "easy lay", take advantage of our gullibility, or mistreat us in other ways. So we're often more experienced but more of the experience is bad, too.

Edited to add more reply (and edited some of the above as well I think):



Well... I was a bit younger, and didn't really think he was gorgeous, and guys in general are not really my type. But when we did do things that were sexual (initiated by him -- I wouldn't have sought out a relationship at all, nor did I expect to end up dating him), they normally felt either neutral or good (with some exceptions for tactile-defensiveness that he totally respected), so I certainly was a willing participant, although I actually have (and even at the time had) a strong preference for women when it comes to actual attraction. And yeah it's something an autistic person can get obsessed about just like anything else.

Right now I'd have trouble turning someone down, but back then I wasn't even fully aware of or interested in my sexuality so much.

Last edited by anbuend on 07 Feb 2008, 12:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I also find that because I can be quite naive and not properly understand what people are thinking I can get myself into really strange, horrible situations, and abusive relationships. If a guy got angry enough with me about suggesting we use a condom - and some men can be very aggressive, very manipulative in these situations to get their own way - I would go along with what he wanted.

Since most of my sexual experience has been along those lines, with a couple of short 'normal' relationships, a large proportion of the sex I've had has been unprotected. Now there's an admission for you, and it's certainly not something I'm proud of. I've now decided to stay celibate until I can be confident things are going to be different.

NB. The bad stuff happened long enough ago that I am now able to give blood etc, I think I am lucky enough that I got away with it all, (and will find out for sure before I find someone new).

Hmmm.....I think that the risk is the same for everyone, Aspie or non-Aspie. I would say it all comes down to how much sense a person has. I'm a gay male, and when I was a teenager in the 90s, gays were considered perhaps the most at-risk group for contracting HIV. But even back then, I wasn't that naive as to have engaged in something that would've put me at risk for HIV infection. And besides, I didn't begin to have sex until I was almost 20.

And here I am today, at age 33 and still (proudly) HIV-negative.

I agree with EVERYTHING Anbuend said.

And most of the other women. Switch the pronouns for she to he and you have my story.

I was dateraped. It took me several years to even understand it enough to realize it.

I was in a car with a girl on our way to see her friend perform in a band. It was maybe a third date. I was rambling on about my special intrest at the time . ( no I wasnt AS dx)
When we got to the club she turned off the ignition and said " Dave could you not talk about <special Intrest> anymore?"
I sat in silence for no exagguration ,five minutes. Then I said " Take me home please."

She took me to a wooded in parking lot behind a soriety house instead. I never said a word.

I didnt realize what had happened. Even now its not untilll I tell my sex stories to myself snd imagine if I was a woman and not a man do I realize whats been happening to me.

I'm going to make a thread about it . I just realized how badly I need to get it out.

Promiscuity isn't my thing, People think i'm weird, the 18 year old virgin; almost unheard of! But i'm proud of it.

If you're that proud I dare you to wear a button that says "virgin" on it

seriously a warning, if you do that you'll probably get swamped by women.

I'm not sure if this is appropriate or not. But I hope the dirtbags that did these things to you were caught and thrown into prison.

I wish they were, unfortunely their still out there, even the guy who molested me when i was 7 and half, hes a family friend, my family knows, his doesnt. I still have some that text me or stalk me still, its scary.

Well I had an advantage, HIV was virtually unknown when I was in my late teens and early 20's, which is lucky for me since I hopped around like a freakin bunny and mostly did what bunnies do... and yeah, poor judgment in many cases. I know now I had too much impulsivity and was immature for my chronological age.... and lucky. What a long strange trip it's been.....

I doubt it.

I'm 18 years old and have never had a girlfriend or even been on anything resembling a date (this could actually change 2 days from now).
And I think that thanks to a mixture of enhanced logical thinking skills and anti-social tendencies. The chances of an Aspie contracting HIV (or any STD for that matter) is probably significantly lower than a nerotypical.

Aspies are supposed to be obsessed with something, aren't we? Maybe we can't always pick our obsessions.
Me? I was reading everything I could about nuclear power plants. Not that I understood half of it. Doesn't
make a great topic of conversation either.

Im so afraid of it Im too scared to talk about it

The stories about the people getting raped on here, that really sucks.

yes it does, but unfortunately I see the same basic thing over and over again with ASD woman after ASD woman. They don't know the warning signs, they don't know the right signals and they get victimized. It infuriates me that I've got dear friends who had to go through that. Worse yet, usually as their first sexual experiences.