Problems with emotions??

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I'm wondering how many people here lack or struggle with emotions?

I've been noticing that I'm not intune with my emotions to the point where I won't realize that I was feeling something until after the event. Whenever something happens, my mind quickly shuts it out.

I've accept that I've no empathy, but I am beginning to believe I've no sympathy as well. I ask myself "Why should I be bothered by what he/she is going through?" The closest thing to sympathy I have is trying to figure out how to make things better, but in those times, victims care not for correcting situations but on making themselves feel better (at least from what I've experienced). I am not good with that. I will laugh, smile, or be in my own world.

I've rationalized my lack of sympathy because I feel no one deserves to be pitied. I rationalized my lack of empathy because I can never experience what another person is feeling. I've yet to discover why I cannot understand my emotions, why I seem to not realize that I am sad, angry, happy, etc. until told that I look like I am.



So again, anyone out there with similar feelings/thoughts?

This is an aspergers forum...so I would suspect that a LOT of people here have problems with identifying emotions in ones self and other people.

I try to correct situations aswell...but I don't see it as such a bad thing. With each problem that arises, there should be someone to sympathize and someone to rationalize/problem solve...otherwise people will continue feeling sorry for themselves and not get anything done.

Of course it is, but many deny they have problems with empathy.

"I'm very empathic" is the outcry, or "I am very emotional" " I can easily sympathize." I am not sure if these people are trying to convince themselves of that because when I read it, I am surprised because I can't feel that way.


And your second point is true, but I guess it is the people with whom I'm with or speak to--they appear controlled by their emotions. My mother, for instance, is very emotional. Reason will not enter her mind even if it is the obvious choice. I would just be wasting my breath.

Aspies are like vulcans... they can be trained to suppress emotion and present an emotionless face, but deep down aspie emotions are far more powerful than NT emotions...

What do you mean by far more powerful.

I dwell on my thoughts. From this deep contemplation I begin to feel emotions, but they would quickly go away by convincing myself.

I once had to convince myself to cry, it was very strange. I was very down (difficult time I guess), but I still couldn't accept that I was depressed because I didn't have a clear definition of what it meant to be depressed.

You are not alone in experiencing difficulties with empathy and sympathy. I, too, have trouble with them.

After I had just been diagnosed, I think having lack of emotions or in my case the lack of expressing any has had a lot to do with my Asperger's. I'm with a therapist right now and bring that up quite a bit. What's strange is I consider myself a sensative person, I just don't have the ability to express any of the feelings. Sometimes, I've doubted being sympathetic because I have a hard time identifying with what they're going through. Other times, I do know what they're going through, I just can't seem to empathize. I don't think you're totally alone on that one.

I had an underling of Professor Attwood tell me that we have a delay of empathy rather than a lack of, i.e., the answers/feelings come to us later. She sounded sure of herself. I, personally, think I lack all empathetic feeling for those I don't know/care for.

I have sympathy, i.e., I understand the emotions of others when I've walked in similar shoes, even those I don't know/care for.

My emotions seem to be..."young" in their lack of use, but I seem to have a grasp of understanding them, and shaping them to something that's semi-mature when I've moved past the initial "shock" of feeling them for the first time.

Socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior is in the diagnostic criteria; so is a lack of/trouble with empathy. So I guess many of us have these things.

I'm not sure if I consider myself to have problems with emotions, but I do know that emotions are a problem themselves. It is because they make people do irrational things, and make the wrong choices, and because of that, I have always shunned them. I also don't think I was entirely in tune with my emotions to begin with, so that might have helped me stray away from them. I rarely, if ever, get worked up about emotions and am considered insensitive because I don't understand why people feel the way they do about certain things. They cry, mourn or get angry about things on news, or things that happen to them or their friends, which if they happened to me, I could not understand why they reacted that way, and most likely would not react the same way. In order to "learn" these emotions, I have to see other people reacting to them and know that this is how most people feel about it, yet knowing how they feel does not mean I feel the same way. I also have a problem with speaking in monotone (well, I wouldn't call it a problem, as I don't mind speaking that way) and when I say something in which people expect me to say with emotions, I do not, and it is either amusing to them that I don't, or they are simply baffled.

I also know that there are emotions that I might feel, no matter how small they may be that I don't acknowledge or know that I am feeling--it has probably happened before, and I might actually feel depressed without knowing it, and I probably still don't because I only think rationally, if at all possible. And in order to do that, I must ignore my emotions and let them pass by. Perhaps that's the reason why I don't recognize when or if they do happen.

Although the only emotion I might really only be at home with is happiness.

E-motions topic

This is what I call feeling on-line. But the emotive feelings are part of being human. I am glad I have emotions. But like any human trait, feelings must be kept in balance and used appropriately, when appropriate. Fairness and respect must be adhered to in all relations with human beings and their communications.
And logic is so powerful. I do try to use it at every opportunity. You can not go too far astray with logic. Long live The Doctor and Vulcans, among others.

It's not that I don't have emotions, it's that I have trouble expressing them, I remain rather stoic and straight-faced, with me just saying "that's terrible, terrible, terrible" and shaking my head or whatever. When I do express emotions they come out like a flood; I'll be crying my eyes out, bouncing off the walls with joy, or explode with intense anger depending on exactly what happened.

Oscuria, have been learning to compartmentalize them, by any chance? A wise person once told me to do just that...I've been trying.

I bolded the first part of your post because I feel like I do agree with that. My emotions come to me hours, days, even months after the event. I just began to question myself after realizing that I didn't feel anything when either one of my parents were at the hospital. It's been this way since I was a child. People asking "How is she/he etc." and I would just laugh and say "Don't worry about it." It always left a confused look on the person's face.

I'm rethikning that "lack" is a strong word, but during such times, the emotion is very much lacking. Being that I do have it come back to me, however long, I agree with the delay in processing.


What Angelus-Mortis posted, I agree with. I am not sure how much is me or how much is influenced by religious scripture. I'm sure it's always been the way I thought because I would read these works and say to myself "Absolutely!"

Compartmentalize emotions? How would I do that? Surround myself with sensory motivators that will react a certain emotion? Or just think of such an emotion until it comes to me, then move on to the next in increments?

I've been speaking with a psychologist who said I think too much (analyze) which prevents me from feeling emotions. She tried to have me experience my emotions (or at least recall). It didn't work. In the end she got tired of it and said "We'll pick it up next time."

If I remember correctly, this person said something like "imagine compartments and put your emotions in there so it doesn't affect you." Good advice, but only for the overly emotional.

If you're not feeling enough, or as much as you think you should, then it's pretty uselss, though. Just a thought.

That's the thing, I don't know if I am feeling an emotion or not. It's rather strange. My senses are a bit skewed. For example, and it may be the case for the many of you, if I am eating something the smell of the food will drive away the taste, if I am listening to loud music my sense of smell will go away, if I'm surrounding by loud noise I will lose sight or smell, temporarily.

I'm not sure if that is it, but it's worth a shot at explaining. Other than that, it might be the fact that I just think too much about the emotion and why I should/shouldn't feel it.

Last edited by oscuria on 16 Feb 2008, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.