GUY ASPIES: Do women approach you then quickly reject you?

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a lot of women find me attractive but are turned off by my personality after a while. i am quiet, but try to show a lot of confidence, but you cant hide being an aspie.

I didn't even know WHEN a girl is flirting with me, let alone what to do about it Maybe no one's ever flirted with me. No clue.

My mom's claimed she's seen girls checking me out, but I have no clue about that. (Not that 99.9% of them would actually have any interest in me if they knew what a freak I am ).



Dang, I don't know what I would have done in that situation. I always have to error on the side of "this person is making fun of me" since I can't really tell. And just kissing like that...is kind of weird, not that I wouldn't be flattered if they actually meant it.



That's really nice of you guys! I wish I had an intelligent question to ask!

I am/was just about exactly that way.

I remember a coworker, many years ago, bending towards me from their desk and asking me to look across the room out 50' away at some secretary working at her desk. He said, "Isn't she beautiful?" Most folks don't talk to me about these things, perhaps because I'm pretty oblivious and don't contribute or start such conversations on my own so perhaps they just think I'm weird and leave me alone. But obviously in this case they did ask me for some reason. Anyway, I had been working and my mind was elsewhere. Coming around to what they were asking I remember looking over in that direction, seeing the girl there, and asnwering, "I can't say. I don't know her." It was my pure, honest, direct answer. I wasn't trying to be coy, nor was I even thinking much about it, just answering some question so I could get back to work, I suppose. But the fact is, that's the truth. I can't tell whether or not someone is pretty on the outside, that well. The main thing I see in someone is their mind, how they think about things, their imagination and interests, and so on. That's what counts to me as beauty and that's the literal way I see it. I hadn't ever met that person and had no idea about her. Looking at her didn't help, as I needed to meet her, first, to have any idea about it.

It was weird, coming from a teacher. I'd had other girls ask to date me (I NEVER, EVER asked anyone -- it was impossible for me to even consider the idea), for example, before and after. Other girls asking to kiss or hold hands, etc. And I said "no" on those occasions, too, but it wasn't quite as shocking to me as having a teacher do that.

To be honest, I still have no idea what was going through her mind. She may have been serious. She might have been mean spirited and I just couldn't tell. But she placed herself right up against me, standing there, and said what she did and it scared me a lot. She was probably 12-15 years older than me at the time (almost twice my age then) and there is no possible way I could have analyzed her body language any better, though. Looking back through my memory on this, I just don't know. Seemed serious enough. But then, there are other possibilities I can now imagine about, so I can't be sure about it. I never will know.

But as you can imagine the event is seared into my mind. It took me days and weeks to "get normal" again.

Jon

Definitely.

Always amusing when women approach me, try to strike up a conversation. I can kill 'em (the conversation that is) faster than anyone, and I appear to be able to interest moderately attractive women. I'm such an arrogant jerk it's kinda funny. "yadda yadda, I'm a person and I do things that herd animals do yadda chewing cud yadda yadda". And I'm just thinking "8O What the hell is crossed in your brain you poor poor thing." +1 to the ego! It only sucks when they're someone who might be worth pursuing. Awkward! I think at this point I've perfected my stand-offish "I have much to do!" look, which saves me a lot of trouble.

i always had trouble with girls during my teenage years but now have more understanding by forcing myself to go out more. i think having AS is not a such as big a problem as i thought it was in relation to socializing(as long as the music isn't too loud). if a girl starts talking to me i just really concentrate on how i response to her instead of worrying about the impression im giving. don't know if this is any help.