Do aspies socialize worse than NTs, or just differently?

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What do you think? I have met another aspie before (in real life), and I was able to communicate with him on a MUCH higher level than I'd ever previously experienced with anyone else. A lot of our communication was nonverbal, but we also talked much more naturally than is usual for me. (This was before I even knew about AS, so it's not like I was just more comfortable because I knew we both had AS in common.) It was really, really cool to be able to accurately pick up on someone's nonverbal communication for once.

So it is my belief that aspies just communicate differently - not worse - than NTs do, as if on a different wavelength. (In fact, I daresay aspies communicate better than NTs, skipping smalltalk BS and getting right down to exchanges of actual substance. But that's a different argument.)

Think about it. NTs have a hard time socializing with aspies, too. That's why they're generally less-than-eager to talk to you after they realize how much effort it takes to prevent awkwardness. If both people have a hard time with the situation, which person is "wrong"? Neither. So why is it perceived to be the aspie's fault? Solely because the aspie is the one who is different (in relation to the rest of society).

Hypothetically, if aspies weren't the minority, I don't think so many aspies would dislike being around people. But in today's NT society, the typical aspie experiences emotional damage early in life which probably screws him/her up more than AS would alone. That's why aspies are usually withdrawn and not very social, because of rejection, not because of AS itself.

I agree with your post. That's why I wouldn't say that either is better. Aspies communicate best with aspies, and NT's communicate best with NT's. We are worse at socialising with NT's than NT's are. However, there is something to be said about the degree to which either kind of person socialises. Aspies tend to "require" less social interaction and to seek less, so NT's tend to gain more social experience.

I voted for the third option.

Or perhaps you could turn that definition around and say NT's are really bad at communicating with Aspies.

I know a couple of times people have been REALLY condescending to me when I haven't been at my communicative best. Almost talking as if I were mentally ret*d and needed coaxing to utter a sentence of their choosing.

By NT standards, we are the inferior communicators. By aspie standards, it's the other way around. Each community has different standards, obviously. It's strange because I consider myself in turns inferior / superior to NTs on the subject of communication. And not just that, but in all other ways. I have my own standards.

I've told a grand total of... 3 people I'm an aspie. I've known them for my entire life and still, one of them didn't understand. Needless to say, I don't talk to him anymore.

The other two changed little to none. I'm glad that at least they understood.

I do agree that we communicate differently. After I was diagnosed, I talked with the only other kid in my school with AS, and we got along swimmingly until I moved.

This is really making me want to see my friend who I believe is an aspie (same goes for me, I haven't been diagnosed) and talk with him.

I'm an Aspie. I have never spoken to another Aspie in real life and I simply do not socialize with people. I am a friendly person but the thoght of willfully mingling with other people makes me panicy.

I wish I had Aspie friends outside WP that I could talk to in person.

jayssite,

I agree also, and have read medical documents expressing the SAME ideas! So some professionals agree with you also!

I went to an AS help group. A handful of them were able to hold a conversation. I found their communication to be too detailed. It was difficult to get into the flow of a conversation.

Differently. I know alot of Aspies IRL and we understand eachother well.

I believe Aspies socialise differently.

I'm NT with Aspie husband and 2 of my 3 sons are diagnosed Aspie.

Therefore I've learned to speak fluent Aspie.

I socialise with NT's and enjoy their company immenseley.

I socialise with Aspies and enjoy their company immensely.

I do find when I'm socialising with Aspies I have to 'switch' languages. Make sure I'm logical.

Also when socialing with Aspies, it usually takes my brain a few minutes to kick into gear. I definantly have to use my brain with Aspies - I enjoy having to use my intelligence.

I enjoy socialising with both NT's and Aspies but don't classify one group as superior over the other. Just different.

I was incredibly lucky to meet-up with 8 other Aspies when I was in London this year. On one day there was a group meet-up with 7 Aspie WrongPlanet members. On the next day it was just me and 1 other WrongPlanet Aspie. Wow did I have fun. Wow did I use have to use my brain.

I think the problem with NT/Aspie socialisation comes when there is a lack of understanding.

Helen

Differently (and I have not spoken to another aspie IRL)