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CDRhom
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20 Nov 2005, 1:52 pm

That seems a bit harsh. Did the breakees at least say something in their defense?


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PhoenixKitten
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20 Nov 2005, 5:00 pm

Ack, mum stopped cleaning my room... before I was eight? I LIKED her help (so long as she didn't throw stuff away!) but she kinda got sick of helping when The Pile had been in existance in all its undiminishing glory for several weeks...


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20 Nov 2005, 6:25 pm

Civet wrote:

When I do relax and do things for myself, my mother sees this as a "waste of time," since she does not need as much down-time as I do, she doesn't seem to understand my need to de-stress.


Yeah, my parents have been kinda like that in the past. Neither of em come off as definite aspie but they both have these real hard-set ideocyncracies. Its funny, my dad used to not have a problem with me sitting arround doing nothing (at least if I was keeping my end of things taken care of) but if I was playing videogames - that was a waste of time and anytime he saw me playing a game it usually ended up turning into a lecture about how I needed to get on the weights, etc., etc., and how videogames were a complete waste of my time. Somewhere along the line I did something that shut him up on that, can't remember exactly what but I think he realized that I did work out when I found the innitiative and that his pushing me really wasn't necessary.

Civet wrote:

I have been making steps to get my life in order, because it is a mess right now. I am just not doing it quickly enough or in a manner that she seems to approve of.


Yeah, good luck. It definitely sounds like you have your hands full. Another thing, I don't know if you have ADHD along side everything else but if you do I might recommend buying a lot of Rockstar, No Fear, or some other energy drinks like that because they're great for fighting that almost narcoleptic feeling of fatigue that ADD/ADHD causes. For me, when I'm feeling real deenergized or overloaded like that and the worlds putting more demands on me too fast for me to counter, power drinks are great at giving me exactly what I need quickly and often times for helping me get myself in gear if I'm having one of those mornings where I wake up mashing my words and not being able to stay with things (which happens all the time when the seasons are changing).


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mjs82
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20 Nov 2005, 11:28 pm

CDRhom wrote:
That seems a bit harsh. Did the breakees at least say something in their defense?


Yeah. Sorry. I wanted to get your calculator.



Civet
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21 Nov 2005, 7:53 am

Quote:
I had a lock put on the inside myself that only I knew how to undo properly. Not a key lock, more like one of those slidey locks. I came home from school and found my door busted upon and the lock on the floor.


That's something my family would do, I imagine.

We all have those cheap button-type locks on our doorknobs that can easily be unlocked from the other side by pushing a paperclip through the tiny hole. I've been woken up several times by family members unlocking it and coming in to get something like tape or scissors or whatever.

Atleast they didn't do any real damage, that really sucks, what they did to you.

Quote:
Ack, mum stopped cleaning my room... before I was eight? I LIKED her help (so long as she didn't throw stuff away!) but she kinda got sick of helping when The Pile had been in existance in all its undiminishing glory for several weeks...


I don't mind *help,* but only when I am present when this "helping" is taking place.

I wonder if my mom decided to clean when she realized what a hard time I was having even cleaning up the areas on my desk and dresser. I just couldn't get my mind in order to figure out what to do first, and I didn't really understand my mother's instructions. Even so, she really shouldn't have gone behind my back and done that. I haven't seen her yet, due to our work and sleep schedules, so I still need to talk to her.

Quote:
Another thing, I don't know if you have ADHD along side everything else but if you do I might recommend buying a lot of Rockstar, No Fear, or some other energy drinks like that because they're great for fighting that almost narcoleptic feeling of fatigue that ADD/ADHD causes.


I don't think I have ADHD. Caffeine does very bad things to me (makes me really anxious and twitchy, and in large amounts can practically sap me of all energy after a very very brief spurt of hyperactivity.)



mini
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21 Nov 2005, 8:15 am

tip for cleaning up - just pretend you are classifying information
You will need categories and sub categories, but you can make those up yourself
For example
Category 1 - Clothes
Sub category a - jeans
Sub category b - tops
Sub category c - underwear
Sub category d - socks
etc

Then when you have categories all your belongings (more or less), you section off the room in designated areas:
Wardrobe area holds Category 1 posessions - Sub category a and b
Chest of drawers area holds (top drawer) - Category 1 posession - Sub category c

Erm. When I look back on this, it's starting to look a bit like a computer program, but hopefully thats ok. once everything has it's designated place, you can relax and you will know what to do the next time you have to tidy up.

Of course, you will think that there are scores of things that cannot be clasified. Wrong! Everything can and should be classified. Make cue cards if it helps that list on them the item and where it belongs and what you should do with it (i.e. if item worn , place in wash basket) .

I hope this helps.

I don't think I realised my brain runs all these subroutines all the time. 8O



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21 Nov 2005, 8:46 am

Get a deadbolt, put it on your door.


My brother used to steal money and other things from me, and the only way to stop them is to get a good lock on the door.


I was 20 when I finally did it. I've never been happyier with my family.

I would advise not locking yourself in your room, but lock it everytime you leave it.


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21 Nov 2005, 11:42 am

Indeed, that revives some nostalgia from time past. My mother was notorious about randomly "cleaning" my room. She said that she only wanted to "tidy up" the place a bit. What she never understood was that my things were in a specific order. For example, magazines were in stacks based on title and in descending order. Cassettes were stacked according to what I was recording at the time. So on and so on. I would come in and everything would be in nice tidy tall stacks on the desk. It literally took days to re-organize.

I can appreciate the thought but not the deed. I often thought about sneaking in and un-organizing her things.

All best.

Civet wrote:
My mother cleaned my room. Granted, it has been in need of a cleaning, but we agreed that if I just took care of a couple parts of it this morning before work it'd be enough for now. So I did. I don't know if it wasn't to her satisfaction, or what, but my mother came in and cleaned my room while I was at work all day. She knows how I feel about her doing that sort of thing, yet she did it anyway. She's asleep now, so I can't even work off my anger by letting her know how upset I am.

I feel dizzy and kind of sick. I don't know what to do with myself.



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21 Nov 2005, 5:31 pm

It is awful she did that. My mom used to do that too until Dad made a hard fast rule that my room could be anyway I wanted but that I was not allowed to have anything out in the other areas of the house (mom's area) it was really hard for mom to adjust but she eventually did and it worked out great. Her reward was that if I left my stuff in her area she could keep it and charge me to get it back.

Y


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mini
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21 Nov 2005, 6:51 pm

when I was a kid, my moom was pretty cool about lots of things but she did keep coming in my room and bugging me to tidy it up. She'd always be totally dismayed that all my wardrobes and drawers etc (anything behind doors) was super tidy but out in the room, it always looked like a bomb had hit it. She just couldn't understand this. So one day, I said, Mum, you have to understand that I know where everything is and that when you come and tidy up I get really upset because I can't find anything. Of course, she didn't believe me, so I sat on my bed, covered my eyes and asked her to name random things in the room. As he called thing out, I'd give her precise information about where the item was and in what position relative to other items around it. This too for several books and other items she fished from under my bed. She couldn't believe it because some of these had a good bit of dust on them which means I didn't touch them for a while. (thank you photographic memory, heh)
She let me off the hook but somehow I still grew up to hate things being on the floor and now always ask people to not be leaving stuff on the floor. Go figure.



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21 Nov 2005, 8:09 pm

Prometheus wrote:
Get a deadbolt, put it on your door.
My brother used to steal money and other things from me, and the only way to stop them is to get a good lock on the door.
I was 20 when I finally did it. I've never been happyier with my family.
I would advise not locking yourself in your room, but lock it everytime you leave it.


I wish...My parents would never have let me put a lock on my door.

:: notices the advisory :: Have you ever locked yourself in?

My Mum knew I didn't like her cleaning my room so she gave me the chance to do so first. And eventually let me do the vacuuming in my room. But until then she did the vacuuming (hoovering for you British sorts), which is why I hate the sound of a vacuum cleaner, it's always stood for an invasion of my privacy...



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22 Nov 2005, 1:34 pm

Quote:
We all have those cheap button-type locks on our doorknobs that can easily be unlocked from the other side by pushing a paperclip through the tiny hole. I've been woken up several times by family members unlocking it and coming in to get something like tape or scissors or whatever.


That would drive me insane. Honestly, I would want to hang bells on the door or something. I would feel very violated and as though I had no privacy. It would also make me want to run out and buy several of whatever item they were taking from me and put it in the kitchen drawers or other obvious places, just to get them to leave my stuff alone!!

Tim went and "straightened" up the books and magazines by my side of the bed the other day and I went ballistic on him for it. I was there at the time...if he had doen it when I was gone maybe I wouldn't have minded so much, but seeing people rifle through my stuff just sends me into a panic, especially if they might be throwing things away! 8O :screaming: 8O He couldn't understand why I got so upset. I had the books in order. Yes, they were just heaped up, but the art magazine that I hadn't read yet was on top of one pile, and the other pile was in order of the books I was currently reading, followed by library books, followed by books I might want to read at soem point and reference books at the bottom. Under that was a whole lot of dust and mouse droppings, which ended up (in dust form) on my bed (where he piled the books, all mixed up!! !). I'm really allergic to mice and their droppings, so the thought of itching deeply and incessantly just irritated me even more.... The books were in order, and I knew where they were. Having them rearranged drove me nuts.

YOu can just imagine how I'd react to havign my entire room cleaned.... :roll: :lol:



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22 Nov 2005, 2:07 pm

Quote:
:: notices the advisory :: Have you ever locked yourself in?



No, but if I had a seizure or tripped over something, it could lead to some nasty stuff happening to me. The lock can be locked from my side without a key, but my parents don't have any copies of my keys for it. Sometimes I do lock myself in intentionally, but rarely.


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CDRhom
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22 Nov 2005, 4:26 pm

mjs82 wrote:
CDRhom wrote:
That seems a bit harsh. Did the breakees at least say something in their defense?


Yeah. Sorry. I wanted to get your calculator.
Gah! <explicitive deleted>


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22 Nov 2005, 8:01 pm

CDRhom wrote:
mjs82 wrote:
CDRhom wrote:
That seems a bit harsh. Did the breakees at least say something in their defense?


Yeah. Sorry. I wanted to get your calculator.
Gah! <explicitive deleted>

My little bother picks my lock open all the time, when I'm in my room, to get at and bug me.

I recall one time when I brought home a ton of Hallowe'en candy.
My bother, at a different school district(I go to school of choice since 7th grade) had that day off and had a bunch of friends sleeping over.

Well, I come home, and most of the good candy in the pile in the corner of my room is gone.
I forget whether or not I'd locked the door, but it was ajar when I'd come home. I always shut it.
Talk about subtle.

He used to steal things from my room all the time (though this was likely his friends) and I'd lock my door and carry a paperclip around. Then he stopped doing it so much, so I only locked it when I'm in my room.

My father threatened to remove my lock if I kept locking my door, but I gradually began locking it more and more again and he seems to have forgotten that threat.


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23 Nov 2005, 11:00 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Civet wrote:
I have been making steps to get my life in order, because it is a mess right now. I am just not doing it quickly enough or in a manner that she seems to approve of.


Yeah, good luck. It definitely sounds like you have your hands full. Another thing, I don't know if you have ADHD along side everything else but if you do I might recommend buying a lot of Rockstar, No Fear, or some other energy drinks like that because they're great for fighting that almost narcoleptic feeling of fatigue that ADD/ADHD causes. For me, when I'm feeling real deenergized or overloaded like that and the worlds putting more demands on me too fast for me to counter, power drinks are great at giving me exactly what I need quickly and often times for helping me get myself in gear if I'm having one of those mornings where I wake up mashing my words and not being able to stay with things (which happens all the time when the seasons are changing).


I'll second that energy drink suggestion. They do help a lot. Another thing to add though is that I find for myself, the amount I can accomplish in a day depends almost entirely on how the morning starts out. If I can start out getting stuff done right from the beginning then it'll be a productive day. But if I sit around for too long wallowing in inertia when I first get up, then I'll probably get very little done all day. It's almost an all-or-nothing thing - it's so important to keep myself moving in those first two or three hours. It comes down to a simple law of physics - objects at rest tend to stay at rest, and objects in motion tend to stay in motion. So to put it all together, I guess the trick is to break out the energy drinks, coffee, or whatever good and early to make sure that motion gets started.