my son can't or won't do his homework

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It's also possible that he's addicted to being on the computer and that's what's making it hard for him to do homework. Seems like he felt wronged somehow when you took the computer away and so he decided to be stubborn as revenge. It can really hurt an autistic person when you take his/her obsession away.

Have you looked into other fun activities for him besides the computer? Maybe he would be less addicted to the computer if he had other things to look forward to. At this point the computer is kind of a “given” in his mind since he’s on it so much. Because of this I don’t think the computer will work well as a reward. If he had an activity to look forward to that involved going out of the house he might become less addicted to being on the computer all the time.

I still think this might be something a psychologist/psychiatrist could help with.

im 17 and its also been though time...at first grates off skool i didint realize what kind the skool is so that got me trouble but any way i was forcet to make a homework before i could do what i want so it was the little price called free time which forget for me but any way he truly migth be depressed if hes skool was going fine before that is common if u have asperger....u could visit psycolotic(sorry dont know how to spell it )

homework has always been a nightmare.
ti's not really a choice - - hard to explain.
the best bet for me was to make sure i had a study hall or something and to do it before i got home, or first thing in 'community' class (part of my sped prog) in the morning.

eta: it sounds like he gets lost in his obsessions when he's not in school. is he stressing a lot about school itself, that he'd feel a need to do so?

had the same problems with homework.but got bullied alot so i wanted to be left alone on my room doing nothing instead of working for school but still my parents didnt know i got as till later
my father called me lazy git.well i called him a workaholic :p

I had the same problem with homework and absences. I never understood why i needed to do homework if i was making A's on the tests. In my mind going to class for something i already knew or doing homework on something i already knew was a total waste. Perhaps he thinks that spending time on the PC is a better investment of his time and intellect? I have no idea how to solve the problem other than explaining how it will help him in the long run,maybe not educationally but practically. I'm still getting in trouble for absences and a total lack of enthusiasm for assignments, if the professors would just tell you when the exams were...

Finding something that he's interested in has always been a problem. He has OBSESSED over yugi-o & invader zim. He kinda likes guitar, but all that matters to him is his computer & ipod. I encourage the computer especially photoshop & flash because i work in that kind of business so I can employ him in the future. But he's got to show me that he can complete a task & have some work ethic before I do that. We limit his internet time (he does not have access in his room) because he'd never get off if we didn't, and he's always wanting to buy things with money he doesn't have. Just like his homework, he pretty much refuses to do anything to earn money either. There is no bullying at his school, they kick those kids out immediately. He does have to have his homework signed off on by us every day. And again, he's not like some of you who excel on tests, he's very average. He has a kid across the street he likes to play with, but he's a very active kid & is gone most of the time so he doesn't get much play time. He sees a therapist but it's been for mostly for bio feedback until recently. Obviosly, there is a lot of tension at home. How can there not be. Our relationship with him is never a 2 way street
We give - he takes and never gives anything in return. We stop giving - he still won't start giving. Does that make sense?

I also experienced bullying in middle school. Somehow, I managed to keep my grades up. Not going to school wasn't an option for me. I was still more upset by a bad grade than by anything the other students did to me.

I had issues with homework at your son's age and there where times that I did not bother doing it. My reasons where:

1. Deperesed, my mom barely encouraged me in my interestes or school for that matter, she was 'do good or else'

2. Teachers, not many understood me, I am not sure if they knew about my AS. One teacher I had real problems with, that was my math teacher, I would be called up to his desk everyday because I have a few too many questions wrong.

Your kid seems very bright, and he doesn't seem to be depressed (But I don't know him though) he could just be really bored and not challanged enough, or he could have issues with some teachers that he dosn't want to talk about and feels he can resolve it himself (Maybe by stopping homework to spite him/her)

Let us know how everything turns out.

I don't know if this will help you or not. My son is 16. Same problem. Homework is ever the challenge. I also work with high school kids with disabilities and have alot of AS kids on my caseload. Homework is always an issue. Most of the time, it's because of the word. Homework makes no sense to them because it's school work and not meant to be done at home. Can you get the school to build in a resource time to do homework at school? It's really the only answer. Once, you can get him to do it at school, making a transition to slowly start bringing the work home once he hits high school will get alot easier.

It's the nature of AS. Homework doesn't make sense. It's also kind of a pointless venture, because AS kids just don't think it's necessary to do repetitive busy work. Grades are also not much of a motivation. They're just not. AS kids don't often do things that make other people feel good, and grades are definitely for others and to make others feel good.

I'll probably get alot of flack from AS people who did fine in school and got great grades. But it's really all about what motivates us as individuals. Some people, AS or not, are motivated by grades. Alot more are not.

My suggestion is to update his plan and get some resource time planned in to make homework less of an issue. You have to remember too, that he spends his whole day staying in control and it's difficult to make the transition to come home and put up with some of the stress that he's been with all day. Home is a place to defrag for these guys. Imagine, he deals with all the sensory input all day and he comes home and then all on a sudden he's putting up with the same crap that he's been putting up with at school all day. You may also have to use special interests, but it's got to be cleverly done. Papers, etc, have to actually center around the special interest which means that teachers have to do a bit of extra work. It's worth it to modify his assignments if you can get him to actually do them, though.

Well, I'm 14 and have HFA and I won't do my homework either.

Well, I'm 14 and have HFA, and I won't do my homework either.

oh so hes on computers too..well if u take obbensions off computer or etc off he rewenges this way...i do this too (yes even im 17)

I would second liverbird’s advice.

Speaking for myself, I find my motivation to perform tasks is akin to a switch whereas with other’s it’s more like a dial. I’m either at 100% or at 0% with nothing in between. Most non-autistic people I know have the ability to go through the motions of an activity even though they are only 50% interested. With us it is much more difficult. I have a suspicion that this is the crux of the issue.

Unfortunately the motivation thing isn't going to be easy. I've struggled with it my entire life. I was a royal pain in the ass for my parents. I also became suicidal in my late teens due to the perceived “pointlessness” of going though the motions of life.

Sorry to sound so bleak but I’m not sure there's going to be any easy solution. I like liverbird’s idea though.

YEAH, Liverbird is RIGHT! I never thought THIS would be an AS symptom, but HERE IT GOES!! !! !!

Apparent NT ENCOURAGEMENT:

1. Recognition(even if NOT justified)
2. Grades(CLOSE SECOND)

MY ENCOURAGEMENT?

1. Joy of having learned a worthwhile ability.(Alex has a post equating the feeling with a euphoria similar to love! Mine USED to be like that and, SOMETIMES, still is.)
2. Recognition(IF DESERVED! kind of distant second)
3. Grades(CLOSE THIRD)

It is ODD! People will take credit for MY accomplishments but, if I don't feel that my work is worthy of compliments, I don't even want to be congratulated, etc...

Oh I can relate to that. My problem was I only ever saw grades as a negative motivation. I got all A’s and occasional B’s through about 9th grade but my motivation was less about striving to get the good marks as it was avoiding the bad ones. I screwed up a single semester my first year of High School and subsequently lost all motivation to continue trying.

From then on I only worked for the classes I enjoyed and did basically no work for the others. My report cards contained one or two A’s and the rest were F’s. I hade a major existential crisis and all these other emotional problems. Later I became so depressed that I stopped attending high school completely. I eventually got a GED and started attending the local community college part time.

I can so relate to not caring about recognition. I remember going to a fancy award reception for being in the top 5% at the community college. I didn't even want to go. I literally could not have cared less about the award. I felt that the only reason I managed to get such a high standing was the fact that I only took two classes per semester. I was happy that I had finally pleased my father but that was about it. All I could do was thank my parents for supporting me and putting up with me for so long.

Okay. I just thought of some things I might add to what Liverbird said.

I don’t know if this is possible but it might help to have him do his homework in a resource room for an hour after school. The school could have a way to make sure your son is actually putting in a solid effort for the entire hour. He could take home a note from the aid in the resource room verifying that he worked the entire time.

As long as he puts in the time in the resource room he can be free to relax and not have to worry about homework once he comes home. You could then allow him unlimited computer time (within reason). However, if he can’t prove that he actually worked the full hour in the resource room he shouldn’t be allowed any computer time until he puts in a full hour at home.