Look Me in The Eye

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Has anyone read this book? What did you think? I liked it but a lot of the things he says are typical AS characteristics don't apply to me, and I wonder if maybe he only thinks they're typical because they happen to him. Sometimes I think things about me are AS-related till my partner tells me to get a grip, sometimes it's just me.

Yeah, everyone's different.

I read it and I liked it.

I read it and thought it was all right. I don't know if I agree with everything he says, and he doesn't seem a lot like me, though I see resemblances in some of the traits. I think the book is better taken as a memoir of how one person with AS felt/lived/was able to turn out, rather than as an example to be followed or as an authority.

Yeah, that was my reaction.

I felt that, even though it was an interesting book, and I don't question his Aspie-ness, a lot of the things he mentioned are his possibly his own personality traits. But in all fairness, he's male and I'm female, so there are probably huge differences right there.

I'm going to try retaking the Aspie Quiz, and then rereading the book. That way I'll be less distracted by the parts with which I don't identify.

It's worth reading, though, for sure.

Last edited by CityAsylum on 13 Apr 2008, 11:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I haven't read the book, but I'm curious:

What, specifically, did he associate with AS that was probably or possibly not AS-related? I know it might be hard to list everything or summarize everything, but could someone provide an example or two?

Hmmm, I'd have to pull out the book again (it's been a few months), but a lot of the pranky stuff was really more Typical Boy Behavior (not meaning to be sexist, but you know, kid-brother stuff).

But there were other things, too, that were just kind of ordinary, non-aspie things.

If I get a chance, I'll look it over again tomorrow and let you know.

I just finished reading it and thought it's definitely worth the read, like it a lot. Some parts I related to and some I didnt. The parts I didnt identify with were the pranks (as someone's already mentioned) and the part where John's at a dinner party and he makes up what he does as a job... he tells everyone that he's a garbage man and lies about weird things that happen during the day just to shock people and get a reaction... I don't think i could do that or have the courage to do that. I related to most aspects in the book, I have a big problem remembering people's names so maybe giving people my own names like John does in the book would help me

If you liked this one you'll probably like Born on a Blue Day, Im reading right now and really like it, its very similar to look me in the eye.

The symptoms described mostly do not apply to me.

This is probably a better way to describe the point I was trying to get across. (Edited from original post)

Last edited by Zamone on 13 Apr 2008, 9:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd be interested in what you think I describe as typical that you think is not typical, and why.

With respect to pranks, I don't call that "typical." They just are what they are. Are they an Asperger trait? Well, to the extent that some Asperger kids explode in violence today, one could argue that my pranks released frustration before worse things occurred. One could also say they are a continuation of "being the class clown," which is a strategy many Aspergian kids adopt.

I would be interested in your thoughts on any of the behaviors.

As an aspie who has also worked in the music biz, I loved this book. It shows that we can work in many different niches, not just the usual IT / Boffin positions. We need more stories to show the positive sides to our unique wiring. Thanks for sharing your story John.

I have read it, and it was a very good book.

I read your book a couple of weeks ago. I always enjoy a good story and yours is a really good story. I don't remember what you pointed out as aspie traits. What caught my attention was the attention to details, the depth of analysis you showed when you did something, and the early social awkwardness you eventually worked out.

I was never able to lie to people as a prank very well. I used to be the class clown to get people to like me. It didn't work, so I gave it up last week.

I recommended your book and Tony Attwood's guide to a psychologist who treats adults with Asperger's syndrome. Thanks for sharing your story.

I like giving people their own names, too, and he does that in the book. I rarely call anyone by their real name, or by just their first name. It feels weird.

And I like that he calls his wife and says "Woof", because I call my boyfriend and say "Honk" and I never know what to say on the phone to anyone, so I have always done things like that. I like Canadian Geese so that's why I say Honk.

And I like sleeping in piles with AJ.

And I definitely don't look people in the eye, though I've been practicing.

But I'm a bad liar, even if it's just for a joke. I'm not just bad, I think I'm physically incapable of lying. I can keep up a lie/joke for about 2-5 seconds, and then I break. "Do you like my shoes?" "Yes! (pause) No". But I can see where him "acting out" with practical jokes and lying about what he did would be the equivalent of me having a complete flapping meltdown when I'm extremely frustrated. It just comes out in different ways for different people. I flap, some people scream, some people hit, my friend at work used to hit herself really hard in the head. Sometimes I used to bite people without realizing it. If anything, playing pranks on people and lying about your occupation is a better outlet.

I read Look Me in the Eye and all of his brother's books and I would not do well if I were in the environments they were in - I'm not smart enough, and I wouldn't have been able to handle the instability and unpredictability they had. I'm impressed with both of them.

I actually used to do the lying/pretending thing a lot... I remember when I had this weird thing about Cyndi Lauper and I spent two years convincing the school janitor I was from Brooklyn by imitating her accent.

I think what got me the most was saying things like Aspies are good with machines (I admit to having a fascination with them, especially all manner of internal-combustion engines, but when I tried to take mechanics classes I discovered I really wasn't any good at it at all) and that they have very logical minds (my partner constantly tells me that my thought process doesn't make any sense, but maybe it's more that we have our own different KIND of logic)

One thing I DID relate to you with is the fact you named everyone. I've only named my dad, but as I've grown older his name has changed.