'How are you?'

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well just say ok, even if i am sad

People at work have taken to asking me how my car is now as well

I think I've got past the 'how are you?' bit and then a bit later it's 'how's your car?' and this can be asked around three times in as many hours

I hate it. I normally respond with "fine", however lately I have given serious consideration to giving them an extremely long speech whenever they ask. Hopefully that would discourage them from asking again. It may not be seen as polite, but I really don't care anymore.

I absolutely hate it too. Especially since it can be in so many forms. How's it going? How are you doing? What's up? So what's new? It's embarrassing when I get thrown off and actually start thinking of an honest answer when they really don't care about how you really are.

I guess this ties in with how aspies have trouble picking up on social formalities/behaviors.

While I'm expressing how much I hate how are you. I also hate having to say good morning to everyone in the office and saying hi to every single person you know while walking passing them in the hallways. They're all such pointless rituals.

I force myself to say good morning to everyone. Also I always forget to ask them how they're doing back, because I honestly don't care.

I can't ask it back because I just can't get through the ritual right. I'm bad at the "good morning" thing too. There for a while I was trying to say it to a hand full of people when I first got in, but they've redone the office to where it's not as open, and I'm not sure if it's expected/wanted anymore, or if it would be an intrusion or what.

I hate being asked that so much that I always answear with "Shouldn't you start with asking me what, or even if, I am doing? Before asking me how I am doing it?"

That usually throws them off for just long enough for me to shift conversation onto something they actually care about.

I usually get by on this one with "'mornin'". Once a lady (think of the 'case of the Mondays' lady from Officespace) asked me "Don't you mean GOOD morning?"

My response was, "It's too early to tell. Could go either way, yet." I don't know whether she thought that was funny or not.

It's true, too. I don't like insincere questions - even in rote greetings. Most people who ask me "How are you" don't listen to my answer at all. In recent years I've taken to responding "hello" and at least half the time the person comes back with "fine".

person: "how are you?"
cd1: "hello"
person: "fine"

Clearly, that person cared little enough about the response that they didn't even notice there wasn't one, going so far as to respond to what was assumed to be a reciprocal question. It always amuses me when that happens.

Good grief that's weird.

What is it about us that makes it hard for us to use this question as just route noise? Why do we have a hard time thinking of this as anything but an actual question?

I'd ban this phrase if I ruled the world

Today I forgot the 'fine' before the 'are you okay?' bit

'How are you?'
'Are you okay?'
'Fine thanks'

Oops

The problem with responding to "how are you?" honestly is that if I answer anything besides "good","fine", or "alright" I feel like I have to explain myself when I'd rather not. If I'm in a bad mood but don't want to talk about it I'm forced to say "fine" even though my expression and mannerism says "sh***y".

I don't really know the polite way to indicate "I'm feeling like crap but I'd rather not talk about it". Seems everyone else just pretends to be "fine" in general company. I hate doing that contrived BS. I’m no good at concealing my body language. I can’t even fake a polite smile. If I'm not feeling it I'm not going to smile.

I actually tried asking someone back yesterday (I didn't even know who she was, but I was on my own with her in the lift & couldn't avoid it!)

It felt soooo awkward! I can't believe NT's do this over and over again every single day - WHY?????

If you'll notice, the people who ask it don't actually wait for a response. They just keep going. Depending on who it is, I'll either say fine or "crazy."

It took me many years to realize that 'How are you?' is an empty question that no one really expects an answer to. People could care less how I am. Now I just give the standard automatic response, "Fine, thank you." In the southeastern U.S., they expect a more creative response, though. Sometimes I say, "As long as there ain't six feet of earth between me and the world, I'm doing just fine and dandy."

Another one I despise is, "How's it going?" To which I respond, "It's going. Where to, I have no idea, but it's going..."

It's just a greeting that we use to acknowlege each other. It's "socially wrong" to be around somebody and not say something to them.

I'll have to remember this one!