Rainking wrote:
It comes naturally with other aspies, whom I've met three of. This ease of communication with other aspies makes me feel really good, and I'm eager to find more to make friends with them. I've only rarely experienced it with NT's.
thats the point, we can communicate with people with whom we share the view of the world. When i 'tap' into this common ground, it suddenly strikes me why NT people are like they are, and i feel more empathetic to them. It's the feeling that you get when looking at a riddle, and suddenly you solve it and everything becomes clear (and you say: omg how couldn't i see that before..). But it doesn't last, and it doesn't 'build up' to become automatic (as it happens with NT's), it's always hard work.
Rainstorm5 wrote:
In 2000, I was having suicidal thoughts (real ones - I was 33 at the time and had every intention of doing it, too) and ended up in therapy. I remember telling the therapist in a tearful conversation that there was something fundamentally skewed in my thinking that affected the way I interract with other people. It depressed me to no end. At first she tried to tell me it was just shyness )social phobia) and anxiety wreaking havoc in my life, but I kept insisting that there was something else wrong with me and didn't kno what it was. She referred me to a clinical psychologist who then referred me to a specialist and the rest is history.
that's why I don't advocate much on considering autism as just another way of life (though i understand it is in a way). I do respect other people's opinion, but there doesn't seem to be a solid argument on the relationships area. We still want them, as much as we feel happy alone. I think feeling happy by avoiding people succesfully is the result of negative reinforcement. We all grow up having negative experiences socially, so when we grow up we feel happy to avoid social things. It's the warm feeling (reward) of avoiding a painful thing.
Ryn wrote:
I like your explanation, it effectivley seems to illustrate how social stuff "works" in comparison to friends, acquaintances, and strangers.
you might like another post i did some time ago. I hate to put another lengthy text segment, but it connects to the 'common grounds' concept:
sleepless168 wrote:
...what is the conscience? and where is it stored in the brain? Some scientists say it's not a unique separate phenomenon, but one that creates through several different phenonema interconnected in the brain. I tend to think the conscience as if it were spatially somewhere in the brain, and like it can move to one place of the brain and another. For example, when we learn a new trait that requires physical skills, the conscience 'moves' to the part of the brain that handles motor skills and starts changing neural pathways so that this translates in 'learning'. When the skill is learned, the conscience no longer has to move to that place completely, but merely 'streches' an activates it. Like when we drive, the experienced driver doesnt think about driving, he just does it. You just have to concentrate on the changing things in the surrounding, but the rest is done automatically. But when you learned, you had to watch your every movement, your hand, your foot, the pressure on pedal etc. And your conscience (as well as your attention) had to be all over this motor skills and coordinate them.
Now, what happens with aspergers according to this? I don't know other people, but sometimes I feel like if that part of the brain that handles emotion and people skills in general was kind of blocked to me. It's not that it's not there, it's more like I don't have easy access to it.
Where is the seat of the conscience? Where does our consciense stay most of the time according to this hypothesis? I believe NT people have their conscience on the part of the brain that handles emotions, at least for most of the time. Where does AS people have the seat of their conscience? I believe that as we cannot 'seat' our conscience in the emotions, we move it to the more rational part of the brain, and thus we see everything through logic and reason, rather than emotion. I believe this is the reason why AS and NT are so much alike, and the same time so different. We are alike because our brains are basically the same, the only difference is AS doesn't have full access to the brain.
This would also explain savant skills from the Aspergers people. As our conscience cannot reside in the emotions place, then it sticks to a another certain part of the brain and develops that part and gets comfortable in it, and in the process a savant skill is born. That would also explain why we don't have the same savant skill, as the conscience can choose any different place to 'stay'. Or the conscience simply sticks with the part of the brain that is more connected to the emotions, and develops that part, because it's his only way to access them easily. That may be the reason we get all excited to talk about our favorite subject.
25 Apr 2008, 2:23 pm
