Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

IdahoAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Nov 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 726

26 Apr 2008, 2:54 am

After considerable thought, I am unhappy being Autistic and wish I was not.

It causes me way to many problems and I wish I could be neurotypical.

It causes people to tease me, steal from me, treat me with disrespect. I cannot interact with people normally. I cannot answer phone calls, or make phone calls. I cannot dress normal. I cannot maintain a normal sexual partner, or otherwise friendship with anyone. I cannot pay my bills on time, get a job, keep a job, make a decent amount of money. I have the working memory of a knat. I have a no future, and I am always depressed. I offend people, constantly. I cannot approach people, I cannot start a normal conversation. I cannot do anything like a normal person. 85% of my personal relationships end in near disaster.

I want to be normal. I want to have a life, with a partner, normal thinking, a career, friends, and relatives that don't acknoweledge me only because they feel obligated to do so. I want to be a normal people. I wish I wasn't Autistic. I feel like damaged goods. I feel like an incomplete person.

Anyone else feel this way?



beau99
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,406
Location: PHX

26 Apr 2008, 3:05 am

IdahoAspie wrote:

Anyone else feel this way?

I certainly don't.


_________________
Agender person.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/agenderstar


Thomas1138
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 470

26 Apr 2008, 3:16 am

Well, you're entitled to feel that way.



IpsoRandomo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 338
Location: Colorado Springs

26 Apr 2008, 3:18 am

I did, but later realized I don't have it that bad, though people sometimes notice I'm different and probably will for the rest of my life.



Pobodys_Nerfect
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 600
Location: New Zealand

26 Apr 2008, 3:25 am

Most of the time. I wonder how I came to exist. I don't see myself procreating.



Jennyfoo
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 411

26 Apr 2008, 3:44 am

you're entitled to feel that way, but seriously do you think that kind of attitude is going to help in any way? Wallowing in self-pity isn't going to change what is.

As for me, I'm glad that I am who I am. I wouldn't be who I am if I were not autistic. I'm happy and my life is very full because I've worked hard to get where I am in life instead of being crippled by self-pity, afraid of making mistakes, afraid to go for what I want in life. I wouldn't ever wish for a cure for myself, my husband, or our 10 y/o daughter. We're unique individuals with a lot to offer the world.

Sorry if that sounds harsh in any way, but I am being blunt. You need to find a way to embrace who you are and like who you are; quirks and all, or you will never be happy.



Josie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 607

26 Apr 2008, 3:47 am

Hey Man,
I am sorry you feel that way. Most NT's can be insenstive jerks. Just appreciate who you are.
I am sure you can find a job and work towards a goal. Good luck.



Tormod
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 115

26 Apr 2008, 3:51 am

I never felt like that. When I was little I thought if there was something wrong it was with the world and not me. Well I still don't think there is anything wrong with me except the species.

I believe thinking like that was one reason I never had any real depressions or anything during all those years of bullying and crap.

Even if there are some things I would change if I could, I never wished I wasn't me, even if I often wished that me was a much stronger version of me.



IdahoAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Nov 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 726

26 Apr 2008, 4:18 am

Jennyfoo wrote:
you're entitled to feel that way, but seriously do you think that kind of attitude is going to help in any way? Wallowing in self-pity isn't going to change what is.

As for me, I'm glad that I am who I am. I wouldn't be who I am if I were not autistic. I'm happy and my life is very full because I've worked hard to get where I am in life instead of being crippled by self-pity, afraid of making mistakes, afraid to go for what I want in life. I wouldn't ever wish for a cure for myself, my husband, or our 10 y/o daughter. We're unique individuals with a lot to offer the world.

Sorry if that sounds harsh in any way, but I am being blunt. You need to find a way to embrace who you are and like who you are; quirks and all, or you will never be happy.


Yes, it does help. I am tired of failure. Better to just accept my fate as a second class citizen, trying only ends up wounding me further.



IdahoAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Nov 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 726

26 Apr 2008, 4:20 am

Josie wrote:
Hey Man,
I am sorry you feel that way. Most NT's can be insenstive jerks. Just appreciate who you are.
I am sure you can find a job and work towards a goal. Good luck.


It isn't that hard finding a job, it is just finding one that pays my rent and that I can keep.



Danielismyname
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,565

26 Apr 2008, 4:20 am

It's a terrible disorder that offers no benefits in this society, all it does is make everything a zillion times harder than what it is for others, or impossible. I cannot socialize at all, talk to people I don't know at all, and that's the least of my problems.

Your impairment may differ from mine, but I'm stereotypically "HFA".



Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand

26 Apr 2008, 4:23 am

I don't think that being Autistic is a problem for me...I know that i'm not getting anywhere in life because of my negative attitude.
I think that if you change your attitude, some of your problems may get better, or resolve themselves. I'm no star rolemodel at doing that, but it's something that I know needs to be done. Try to think positively. I know thats chiche but it WORKS, and thats why those 4 words are used so much.
You can never become NT, so embrace what you have and make the most of it. You can only do your best.


_________________
I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,647
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

26 Apr 2008, 5:16 am

I don't feel this way, either. I like being the unique, interesting individual, that I am.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Tails
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 398
Location: Planet Mobius?

26 Apr 2008, 5:24 am

To hate being autistic is, essentially, to hate yourself. You would not be you without your autism. It is part of what makes you who you are, and so despising it is a fruitless endevour that won't get you anywhere and will only add to your problems.

If you already have a lot of difficulties as a result of your ASD, adding self-loathing and zero self-esteem to the list really isn't going to help.

Everyone is allowed to have 'off' days where they feel low and worthless as a result of their difficulties... but you need to recognize these for what they are - low days, and not a reflection of your worth as a human being.

If you are that unhappy with who you are, it may be that counseling should be something you might want to look into. Changing your ways of thinking about life and your self-perception is MUCH easier than changing who you are, after all ;) And once you establish some good coping mechanisms and learn to value yourself, you'll start seeing far more opportunities out there for people like you :)


_________________
~I wanna fly high, so I can reach the highest of all the heavens
Somebody will be waiting for me, so I've got to fly higher~


pixie-bell
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 80
Location: Scotland

26 Apr 2008, 6:14 am

What's the point in hating yourself? More to the point, why are you making such a distinction between NT and ASD, granted as a person with Asperger's syndrome, yes, life is very difficult, but it is for everyone, regardless of the label attached. (The lady (NT) who was forced to kill her child, watched her brother and children die and was raped 19 times, a common occurrence in Africa at the moment)

At times, life is unfair, but it wouldn't be life if it weren't.This is how you learn and become stronger. When things are going wrong, I say to myself, the only person who can truly help you, is yourself, so how are you going to fix the predicament? It's up to you.

The reason I gave that example, is because whenever, I can see no way out, I think to myself, well if people in that circumstance have the courage to go on living, then I do too. Again, it's up to you.



kleodimus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 636
Location: eternal darkness

26 Apr 2008, 7:25 am

i see aspies as unique compared to NTs