wrong-headedness and hate

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After reading through some of the latest rants on these forums I was sickened and sad. I walked away with the intention of never coming back. But, I couldn't do it without trying to put something in the balance, even though I am tired to death of having to battle against wrong-headedness and hate. The 'net seems to collect it.

While it is true that a growing sense of politicization can bring about negative reactions and fuel anger, if this is allowed to poison the discussions and set the tone then in the end all that energy will come to nothing. Anger is an energy that can be used to keep us going through situations that might otherwise defeat, but if it becomes the only emotion then it destroys us as much, or more, than it destroys the thing we battle against.

I read with a sick feeling in my stomach about the alienation felt by some, and how it drives them to epouse beliefs which are hateful towards others. And the opposing viewpoint that 'we are not significant enough to do any damage with these beliefs'... That is beyond belief.

Whatever you may believe about the purpose of life on earth, whether we are just 'self-replicating DNA' (to quote Monty Python), or whether we have been put here for a purpose by a deity... we all are human. No matter that the structure of our brains may delineate differences in perception or ability. This is the same for everyone. I work in a school where children of all abilities do the best that they can with the cards they have been dealt with. One set of children have to fend for themselves, as their parents are not very good at being parents. They are all very thin and sad-looking. The eldest girl takes care of the younger ones, even though she is only in grade 6. Another family come from another country. In their country the father had a PhD in something which brought them a good income. Here in our country he is forced to drive taxis, and he has had a nervous breakdown. Their family is in pain... And some children have learning disabilities, or they are abused, or they are bullied... and some are 'NT' and some are not. Every child has a story, and to understand it is to understand them.

We all deal with pain, separation, alienation and anxiety. To recognize that, even if you cannot read it in others, is the first step towards healing it. Both in yourself and in others. We have brains, no matter what their structure, and to that end we can use them. Compassion is not a function of someone else understanding us, or even us understanding them... it is a mental attitude which accepts that others are also worthy of our attempts at understanding, and the acceptance that we may not understand what they are going through. This is the same for 'neurotypical' people as well. We are all blind to other's pain if we do not care to see it.

I think this is also seen in other minority groups who feel that they have little or no power over their environments. I believe it is a stage of self awareness and the desire for social justice...it's a bad place to "get stuck" but part of the evolution of trying to find a place for yourself in the world. It makes it more complicated when you feel that "you" have gained some self worth but the rest of the world is taking to long coming to the same conclussion.


I agree that there can be situations here that expose things that are hurtful to other people...we are human, after all and this is supposed to be a place for people to vent emotions that are painful and they have no one else to talk to about the pain. So yeah, it is not a fair representation of what we are like all the time. You can choice to focus on this negative outbursts and feel hurt by the anger you see...or....you can look at all the examples of people trying to be supportive to other people in pain. A group of people that they "experts" claim have no empathy.

So yeah, when I say "those dang NT's screwing up my life", I am not refering to every NT on the planet. I'm talking about a "system" that happens to have a majority of people of a particular neurology who don't like me (and often hurt me)and seldom value me, because my neurology is different. Haven't you noticed the same pattern in the growth of other groups of oppressed minoritites....the anger is just an unpleasant part of the process. It makes it more difficult to move to the next stage when you are daily confronted by the same systems that have been opressing you all along. If you replace "AS" with people of different nationalities, skin colors, gender, religious choices or sexual oriontation...you will see the same progression. I think we will get past the anger when we start seeing more postitve exceptance of us in society.

This is so true and so right. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Anyone can be a bigot.

I'm sick of all the anger and hatred too. If you're unhappy, or dealing with hardship, you don't have to channel your misery into angry, hate-filled posts.

There are many, many ways to deal with anger. Keep a journal. Listen to music. Play music. Yell at your television. Throw a glass bottle at a wall. Tear apart a stuffed animal. Meditate. Take a nap.

If you must vent online, why not write a blog? Or write one well-thought-out post about the source of your anger?

It is really unnecessary for anyone to continuously write posts directing anger at specific people or groups of people. An occasional post about the difficult things you're dealing with is fine, but why inject anger into every conversation? I'm pretty good at ignoring this stuff, but I know it upsets other people, and that's why I'm bothering to write this.

And it's not just people of one view-point that are responsible for this. I see posters of all different political and religious backgrounds exhibiting this behavior.

Nice anti-rant rant :D I approve. :D I don't like people who rant on about their own person views and generalizations on a group of people :S I wish that people would just get along :D that's when I'm happy :D *gives everyone flowers* :D

Well, it's a bit difficult to weigh in on this, when no one is mentioning a specific post.

I think if your seeing posts that are attacking specific people or are really innapropriate, you could bring them to the attention of the mods? I don't think you have the right to say how other people should deal with their anger based on what works for you. Some people find it very cathartic to throw things and some would rather get feedback from other humans who may have experienced similiar situations.

Unless the individual has violated some term of posting then no one else has the right to tell them what to write here. I guess if WP becomes to negative then we will lose some memebers but I also think this is a safe place for people to vent, (as long as it isn't harming others here), and I prefer seeing it here where we can address it then having someone feel that therre is no one who will listen and offer advice or empathy....and then they hurt themselves or others?

I agree with you, krex. I wasn't referring to venting and ranting in general. It can be helpful to get feedback from other people who have dealt with similar situations.

I was referring to more trollish posts, in which people express hatred without an explanation of how it affects them personally, and if they say anything about how they think it affects society, it's a very short statement that is based on emotion rather than any type of knowledge. I know that some of that is inevitable, but posts like that seem to be proliferating lately. That's all.

I have been a member of WP for a year now, and from day one I saw it as a place where aspies can unleash pentup anger. When I was new to the site I expected attack as an NT, but it only happened once from somone who questioned my name. It was Krex who charged in to my defence!

You are doing a wonderful job in your profession, Spindriftdancer. I admire you! I would have loved to worked with someone like you! I am a retired teacher who was passionate about the kids I taught.

Now I have health issues which nudged me into retirement. I have found this wonderful place where I have made friends and use my talents to promote positive attitudes.

To find relief from the wear and tear of emotional outbursts, why not visit the dino-aspie ex cafe in the Introductory Forum? This is a place of personal growth, nurturing, humour, honesty... I could go on. You are welcome whatever your age but you have the benefit of our ancient wisdom (splutter)

I hope you will stay on WP.
Robyn

Well said, I hope you decide to stay

And-

*Gives Specter his own flower*