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jameslewis10
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16 May 2008, 7:04 pm

I heard one that made me laugh abit on a DVD by Jimmy Carr:

"If you were to count the number of hot dogs sold at a Premier League football match on any given saturday, chances are, you're autistic."



CockneyRebel
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16 May 2008, 11:33 pm

:lol:


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Followthereaper90
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17 May 2008, 3:18 am

how many aspies it takes to chance a bulb? 3 one is moving old lamp off then one is obessing other whith lamps and now our obessed aspie is ready to chance some lamps :P


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mysterious_misfit
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17 May 2008, 9:00 am

Not really an autism joke, but my husband and I were cooking one day and I told him in complete seriousness, "These mushrooms look a little moldy." He thought I was serious and didn't get the joke at all. Like, he was upset that the mushrooms were moldy, because he was looking forward to eating them.

I told the joke to my husband's parents too, and his dad laughed right away and his mom didn't get it at all until I explained it. I am sure my father-in-law is Aspie too, for many reasons.



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17 May 2008, 9:05 am

If you know the breeds of the stray cats that come around your house, chances are you are an Aspie who really loves cats!



1Oryx2
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17 May 2008, 11:29 pm

A friend told me this one:

'How many people with AS does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he'll e talking about it for months.'



Callista
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18 May 2008, 1:13 am

9CatMom wrote:
If you know the breeds of the stray cats that come around your house, chances are you are an Aspie who really loves cats!
Wait, you have purebred strays around your house? That's... wow, that's even sadder than the little moggies that get dumped around my house... three of which are now living with me, of course! (Two brown tabbies and a dilute calico...)


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ASPartOfMe
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20 Dec 2020, 5:33 am

I have figured out why COVID-19 vaccine deliveries have been less than promised.. It is those damned neurodiversity activists. Since vaccines cause autism they think that if you are already autistic getting vaccinated will make you a super autist.


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holymackerel
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20 Dec 2020, 9:59 am

Jimmy Carr is hilarious. I am going to see him live in a few months.



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05 Feb 2021, 6:28 am

COVID VACCINE WITHDRAWN AFTER MANUFACTURERS FORGET TO PUT THE AUTISM IN

Quote:
The AstraZeneca virus is being withdrawn, according to internal sources, because the rapid speed of development and roll-out led to them accidentally forgetting to put the autism in.

“Normally, a good 60-70% of our development time is spent thinking up new ways to autisise the subject”, a technical source within the organization told us, “but this time, due to the rush, we simply forgot all about it.”


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rowan_nichol
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05 Feb 2021, 7:21 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
COVID VACCINE WITHDRAWN AFTER MANUFACTURERS FORGET TO PUT THE AUTISM IN
Quote:
The AstraZeneca virus is being withdrawn, according to internal sources, because the rapid speed of development and roll-out led to them accidentally forgetting to put the autism in.

“Normally, a good 60-70% of our development time is spent thinking up new ways to autisise the subject”, a technical source within the organization told us, “but this time, due to the rush, we simply forgot all about it.”

Had a good laugh over that one.
Knowing how various profiles seem to come up a lot in science and technology, and medicine :lol: as well come to that, how about
"Autism causes Vaccines" :lol:



Jiheisho
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05 Feb 2021, 11:16 am





Fnord
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05 Feb 2021, 11:30 am

Followthereaper90 wrote:
how many aspies it takes to chance a bulb? 3 one is moving old lamp off then one is obessing other whith lamps and now our obessed aspie is ready to chance some lamps :P
1Oryx2 wrote:
A friend told me this one: 'How many people with AS does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he'll e talking about it for months.'
Now you have done it ... now you have triggered my autism and I feel obsessively compelled to post this:

•••

How many Wrong Planet members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post in a GAD thread that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb should have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spelling checkers and grammar-nazis.

4 to complain that telling light bulb jokes still won't get them girlfriends.

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb", "light-bulb" or "light bulb".

6 more to condemn the previous 6 as anal-retentive.

1 industry professional to inform the group that the proper term is "Incandescent Lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were also in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

17 members to take personal offense at the industry professional's post and declare that they will call a light bulb whatever they *&^%$#@ well please.

156 to email the WP Moderators with complaints that the thread is somehow offensive.

1 more to use the 'Report' button for the very same purpose.

109 to post that the GAD forum is not appropriate for light bulb threads and to please take this discussion to the "Computers, Math, Science, and Technology" forum.

203 to demand that duplicate threads in other forums be merged with this one.

111 to defend the posting to GAD saying that because we all use light bulbs for different reasons the posts *are* relevant to GAD.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty, and to post images of their favorite light bulbs.

51 to post various images that are not related to the conversation.

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to GAD, which makes light bulbs relevant to GAD.

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

12 to post to the general membership that they will no longer post on WP because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

44 to ask how to post links and images.

3 conspiracy theorists to point out that CFLs contain mercury, and posit an association between the use of CFLs and the incidence of autism.

175 posters of a scientific bent to point out that the conspiracy theorists are basing their claims on discredited research.

5 random supporters to claim that the conspiracy theorists are being suppressed.

7 to post about their personal problems, which have nothing whatsoever to do with light bulbs.

4 to say "Isn't there already a thread on this subject?".

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

3 members to hijack the thread completely, 2 of whom get banned for trolling, and 1 to be warned for using offensive language.

1 Religionist to point out that "It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness" and hijack the thread repeatedly to argue for the existence of God.

1 Moderator to lock the thread for having become both irrelevant and contentious.

< TWO YEARS PASS >

1 member to start a new "Light Bulb" thread.


:D


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r00tb33r
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05 Feb 2021, 1:55 pm

mysterious_misfit wrote:
Not really an autism joke, but my husband and I were cooking one day and I told him in complete seriousness, "These mushrooms look a little moldy." He thought I was serious and didn't get the joke at all. Like, he was upset that the mushrooms were moldy, because he was looking forward to eating them.

I told the joke to my husband's parents too, and his dad laughed right away and his mom didn't get it at all until I explained it. I am sure my father-in-law is Aspie too, for many reasons.

I don't get it. I mean mold is a fungus, but I still don't understand what's funny or clever in the joke.



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05 Feb 2021, 2:25 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
mysterious_misfit wrote:
Not really an autism joke, but my husband and I were cooking one day and I told him in complete seriousness, "These mushrooms look a little moldy." He thought I was serious and didn't get the joke at all. Like, he was upset that the mushrooms were moldy, because he was looking forward to eating them.

I told the joke to my husband's parents too, and his dad laughed right away and his mom didn't get it at all until I explained it. I am sure my father-in-law is Aspie too, for many reasons.

I don't get it. I mean mold is a fungus, but I still don't understand what's funny or clever in the joke.


Mushrooms are fungus. So a mushroom naturally looks moldy.



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05 Feb 2021, 2:29 pm

jameslewis10 wrote:
I heard one that made me laugh abit on a DVD by Jimmy Carr:

"If you were to count the number of hot dogs sold at a Premier League football match on any given saturday, chances are, you're autistic."

Ha! Might well be true for some.


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