Do you lack the drive to progress in life?

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I sure can relate to this, tbam.

I go through those cycles too. I think I get all ambitious and positive because a steady, decent job is the only way I can get what I really want. (A cottage by the sea with huge gardens, lots of trees, animals, where I can be free, crazy, eccentric, creative.) So my mind gets swollen up with a temporary delusion that 'I can do this.' But, actually I can't. I might have talent in some areas, but without all the other things needed in the career world/work place - contacts, interpersonal skills, communication skills, interview skills, relevant qualifications, being able to follow orders etc. Without these, I just don't fit in.

But I am sort of past wanting to fit in, or doing it for money. It's about what I value. I am completely unwilling to do all those things necessary to have a successful career, or even a good steady job. I suppose I am a bit pig-headed in wanting to live life completely on my own terms. I don't want to follow orders, work 9-5 all week, be pleasant all day, stress out over deadlines for things that really have no meaning, in order to go home with a fat paycheck wrapped around my frozen-smile face. Money is so not worth that.

I have learned that I value simpler things, and that I want to learn to want less because I know I can be content with less. I have realised I will be happier and saner as a struggling artist. I still wrestle with pressures of family, friends, etc. They just do not understand that my values are different to theirs. I still wrestle with my self. All sorts of aspirations keep popping up, and it is not always easy for me to know whether the voice I am listening to is truly my own, or is from outside influences.

I guess you/we just have to take a good hard look at ourselves. What makes us truly happy in our everyday life? What things can we compromise on, or not? What are the things that we might desire, or aspire to that we can sacrifice, and learn to be content without? If we were able to look back from the end of our lives, which things would it be that you would most regret not doing? And lastly, when we can make and commit to a decision, or a chosen path, what can we do to be able to deal with those feelings which make us feel panicked, belittled, old, left-behind, or unsuccessful in the conventional sense?

I'm trying to figure it out.

my teacher said that i could go up a few grades if i was motivated....



im NOT motivated...

I have a huge problem with motivating myself to do things. I've got to do my bills and even I don't have the motivation to do that.

I am 28 years old, and my parents still want to control me.

I dont seem to have this ambitious drive others speak of. I am extremely uncompetitive to the point of wanting to opt out of any game. Im just not a game player. I would like to develop a talent but I dont know if I have one. I would like to help people but it is hard when I dont get along with people at times.\

I do feel strong drives, daily, towards:

- Eating. I am really good at this, I think I am a talented eater and I can put away large amounts of food.
- Surfing the internet. I am very good at this, also, and very focussed.
- Reading. Again I am good at sitting in a chair with a book, and a slab of chocolate.
- Watching TV. I think I excel at this.
- I am good at noticing beauty around me.
- I am good at listening, and I like talking.

Hmmmm, but Im not sure how I can make money out of my talents.

I fought through college and grad school not out of competitiveness towards others or any desire to rule the world, but honestly because I was terrified at that time that I wouldn't be able to support myself, and would be beholden to others. Probably the wrong reason to pursue a professional degree, but I've always been fiercely independent and never wanted to be supported by other people during my life, particularly by my family. I've achieved that, but my interests literature and the arts have suffered as a result.

I think this is fantastic, though it may not appear so to some outsiders or NTs - A thread about how un-ambitious we are.

I think it is fantastic because we are finding we are not alone, as well as we are finding out what we do love, and that its ok to not be ambitious or be in the upper echelon of financial wellbeing if we are happy and enjoy doing what we do.

Wouldn't it be great if we could somehow create a "sanctuary" where Aspie's could live in the hills with trees, ocean views, serenity, a broadband internet connecttion and DVD store?! !

I guess, despite the realisation that we are not alone, we still have a problem with implementing our realisations. I can sit here all day and feel good about finding people like myself, and realising that I don't really want to do anything. But going home and actually telling my wife that I don't really have any aspirations other than enjoying myself, is another side of the coin that scares the bejeezus out of me.

But such is life, hopefully some or all of us get to that mountain cottage in the hills where internet is free, and someone comes around every so often just to hear us blab about what we like, and then congratulate us on the effort we make (this would be heaven for me by the way, hehe) on our interests.

Its just good to hear stories by others in a similar veign, it gets us that little step towards making our destiny our own, which I think as Aspie's can sometimes be a difficult road, when we are so skewed from the rest of society.


Just back to stories again. As previously stated I don't really want to be anything, but I feel I should, and every now and then i get bursts of inspiration that often fade faster than they arrived. However I find these bursts mostly occur through jealousy.

For example, I might be at home in my own universe wondering what it might be like to bite that piece of guttering I will never be able to bite, but all of a sudden if I hear that one of my friends or someone I know has just become quite successful I get very jealous, and start to feel quite depressed about myself. For example, i'm a musician, and I currently don't have any drive to play music, I would much rather watch all available seasons of lost from start to present than try and start a band again and "make it". However when I hear that an old friend of mine - who I thought I was better than - has started to become quite successful. All I want to do is get on my drums, create a band and kick his ass in the social scheme of things. hehe. However, eventually, sometimes even in the same day, I'll lose interest and return to my own universe and forget about the whole thing.

Despite this topic having quite a depressing subject line, I am finding reading it, quite inspiring and emboldening(is that even a word?)

I don't have the drive. I haven't progressed in comparision to my school collegues, I was in a job that I enjoyed and it fitted well with my repetive routine.
My obsessions took me away from progression, OCD also. I had no interest in looking for the high salary career, I wanted to work in science or in a job that I would find fascinating.
I had questions as a teenager, I was incredibly curious of the world, the big bang, evolution, physics and the mechanics of life. I felt I could compete in any job. I felt that a job required just two things; memory and interest.

I had a very good memory as a teenager and felt that knowledge was important and a key to my happiness, without knowledge or memory life would'nt be worth living.

Now that I've reached the peak of growth my value on life has changed, I've observed people and noticed that NT's compete for just one thing. Money. Money is material and material is something that belongs to the earth. How does material make somebody better?
I believe in knowledge and this is what should be judged first.

I've lost my drive for life, I have over analysed things and I have come to the conclusion that everything it a waste of time.

I'm not unhappy or anything. I just do things now to keep myself amused. I also like to challenge myself so that gives me drive. Also think about things that you want, try and get them, that helps

I can relate too. My dad had always pushed me to "make something out of myself" and my gran was always worried about me in regards to work, saying I can't keep a job down etc. This is part of the reason why I had to get away from my family: to be able to be myself.
When I was younger I made a habit of job hopping for a while. Basically as soon as I got to about 3 month into a job (mostly "organized" by my dad rather than chosen by myself) I got bored. I did manage to finish an apprenticeship though and my dad cried at graduation. not because he was proud about my good grades but because I managed to stick something out for 2 1/2 years...needless to say I left this profession too immediately after graduation.
When I was 18 I had this argument with my dad about my future. He had dreamed about me taking over his business one day but I had no ambition whatsoever to do it. He couldn't understand why. I said I wanted to become a writer but he said you can't be a writer until you are able to support yourself. He said you may be able to write but first you've got to make sure you've got enough money saved so you won't have to work for at least a year. So there was my dream crushed. At 18 I still used to listen to my dad.
In my last job I was promoted to supervisor. I thought it was a good idea as I was getting bored with what I was doing (again) and the money was better. Big mistake! I hated every day of it. I stuck it out for almost 5 years until redundancy last year but only because I've got commitments like mortgage, bills etc. and couldn't afford to get out. It was hell! Probably the worst kind of job for a person like me. I don't think I did a particular good job either. I was crap at people management and I didn't get any back up whatsoever. I'm not assertive and I have no ambition to climb the ladder. The only thing I was kinda good at was making people happy by carrying out every little request promptly and accurately. But I procrastinated a lot and there were a lot of times when there was nothing to do at all and the boredom killed me. I get lost inside myself when there's nothing to do, when its unstructured. I need input.
At the moment I'm in a temporary job which is a lot more creative. I get to design and craft etc. and even though there are still moments of boredom I basically love what I'm doing. But I haven't got what it takes to be a designer. I'm not a networker and really bad at socializing and its very important for this kind of job. Besides I don't have the necessary qualifications. I guess I just like playing around
My next job will be in a call centre working for directory enquiries. I consciously chose something below my skill level, something where everything is very structured and I basically aren't expected to be ambitious. I just want to earn what I need to earn in order to survive and then go home and do what I want to do.

I would really love to live self sufficiently on a little farm by the sea or in the hills, away from everything and me and my boyfriend have dreamed a lot and planned and looked at property and alternative ways of living but at the moment thats just not realistic.

If I could live in a different time I would choose greece in the times of the great philosophers. I would have a little school and be respected for being a thinker rather than a doer. That I would love....

I tend to do similar, and it's a PITA as it can pop up just in time to interfere with stuff I may want to do over a relatively long period of time. I think it comes from boredom due to the structure of my schooling in the past as well as depression.

I had a long answer in my mind, but I can't be arsed to type it.

There's your answer.