Another thread on resturants.

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I like to eat out. Because i dont have to cook, or know HOW to cook. But the resturant is a very difficult dance for me.

First i walk in, and hopefully im at a place im familiar with, because sometimes it is ambiguous if i am supposed to sit or wait to be seated. Thankfully they have a handy sign for this, but not always.

The cafe i go to i know to head in and sit down. Then i wait. And the waiter will come and give me a glass of water, and a menu.

I had already spent an hour diliberating over what to have before i got there, but even with that preperation i now sit... nervously feeling the deadline of choice creeping ever closer. Then the waiter comes to the table again, and asks if i am ready to order. And perhaps i'm not, perhaps i just need another minute. If i say no, gimme some more time, they'll probably give me way to much time. So at the last moment i pick yes im ready, even if im not. Very stressful.

Then with little time left, i've got to smoothly order my meal. And i'm always wondering if it would be smoother and easier to formulate the correct answers to all the questions the waiter is going to ask, or order the item, then wait for the question (such as: how would you like that cooked?) then order the item and wait for the question. I NEED it to be as smooth and unakward as possible. God forbid i need to throw em a curve ball. Like 2 chicken breast dinners, 1 barbacue, 1 not.

I spend most of my time thinking over the smoothest way to conduct this whole interaction. Then once that ordeal is over, i sit and stare at a single spot somewhere in front of me. And think about things. And i need to pick a spot because i dont want to deal with the whole game of looking around at people and i might catch their glance and need to look away quickly, and worry over what theyre thinking, or worst make eye contact and need to interact.

Then the food comes, and i eat it. Salting every piece before eating it, which im told is bad.

Then the waiter will come once to ask if everything is okay. Perhaps twice if i take a while. And then i will need to wait for a long time for them to bring the check. Because it is akward if i go up and say i'm done. They'll APOLOGIZE! If i go up and say i'm done. And it just isn't a matter of mistake. I just eat at a different pace than is perfect to make the whole dance of eating at a resturant smooth as possible.

To make up for my weirdness I do tip well though.

And to put all of this in perspective: The chicken breast they serve is worth all this trouble.

I've found that if you stare right at a waiter in the way that would frighten a casual acquaintance, they'll bring you the check right away.

They're usually pretty quick with the check when your AS 4yr old goes into a tantrum also.

Even before my daughter was born, I would usually go to the same restaurants and eat the same thing just because it was easier. Only if I'm having a particularly NT day will I venture out to try something new, and usually not without my backup (NT wife).

Also, long ago I forced myself to get past any sort of food pickiness so that now I'll eat pretty much whatever they bring. For me its easier to just eat it than to go through the trouble of getting a waiter and sending it back, etc. I treat everything the way my brother looks at drive-through food...Its an adventure, you order what you want and see what you get!

those are cute answers, but im seriously interested in making the whole interaction as smooth as possible. I don't want to make them uncomfortable with my precense anymore than necessary.

You don't have to be absolutely prepared if you say yes when you're ordering your meal... I know many people who say, yeah, I'm ready to order, and then spend an extra couple of minutes deliberating over which meal to choose. If you get really stuck and feel comfortable you could try asking for the waiter's opinion even if you don't listen to what they say, just use the extra time. You could also ask to have your bill when you get served your food. That way they will bring it over to you while you're eating and may ask how the food is then, so it's killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. That way you will speak to them less and not need to worry about them apologizing when you ask for the bill. I'm not sure if any of those things would work?

Well, I guess I have some advice that may or may not be helpful-when you want your check, just catch the waiter's eye-that means you're ready to go. Instead of staring at the wall, you could bring a book, or a CD player and headphones for while you're waiting. And personally, I always have the same thing when I go to the same restaraunt(My whole family is like this-several places know my family by orders and when they see us come in they automatically put our order in...it's very convenient if you don't mind having the same thing all the time) When going to a restaraunt and you do not know whether to sit down or wait, stand at the entrance till you can catch an employee's eye and ask them.

Ordering-if you need only a minute, say so, and when you've decided on what to order catch your waiter's eye. I think catching the waiter's eye is the key. as to which is smoother, whichever you prefer....neither is better, really.

Nomaken: You are very hard on yourself. You don't have to tip extra "to make up for your weirdness." From what you wrote, you seem to be polite at restaurants. You order. You pay your bill. That's all they ask. Believe me, restaurants only wish everyone would do those simple things. I'm sure that it would be easy to get plenty of horror stories from a waitress or waiter.

There is no time requirement for ordering. You are either ready or not. If you aren't ready, a waiter will return. That is their job. They are there to wait on you. As someone said, you can always ask for what the best foods are on the menu. I've done that. It's a good idea. Someone else also said that some people will say that they are ready to order and still sit for a minute, thinking about their choices. My ex did this ALL the time, and he doesn't have AS.

Also, a waiter/waitress will apologize (sometimes) if you ask for the check, because they feel that they weren't paying attention. That might be the case or not. The point is, they are there to make your dining experience a good one. They are apologizing for a variety of reasons: to be polite, to avoid a skimpy tip, to entice you to return, to avoid a complaint to management.

Your sentence about salt even struck a chord with me. A lot of salt isn't good for your health. Eating salt doesn't make you a "bad" person.

ordering in resturants is one of those social things im VERY aspieish about. When i was on vacation, there was this resturant we were going to eat at twice in one week. I wanted a drink that contained coke and grenadine in it. As this resturant a roy rogers was alcoholic. The best solution for ordering this drink that i had was

Me: "Uhh dad, what is that thing i get?"
Dad: "Roy rogers, its coke and grenadine is all."

Then the waiter may dispute it or not, but all of that is fine, because the waiter is talking to my dad and not me.

It is just so much easier for me if he orders it at this resturant because it pains me so to get into a situation where the waiter laughs and asks for ID.