Not Using Peoples Names

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I had to think about it for a long time, but I have a really odd problem; when being introduced to someone, I blank out their name. It's like "hello, this is....and this (my name)" I just do not hear it.

The only problem I have is a supervisor named Richard, who goes by the short version. I mentally crack up when he uses it.

OK, you guys are going to HAVE to stop spying on me!! !! !! !! !

SERIOUSLY! I RARELY use other peoples names! I generally use them ONLY in third person!! !! ! MOST use them HEAVILY in second person, and I DON'T!

count me in with you - i have preceisly that problem




yeah, i wish i knew why. i always thought it was just me who had this problem.

I just talk in the direction of people, or louder/softer depending on distance. I thought I was the only one.

I tend to not like calling people by name; but I feel weird when people call me by name, though that depends on the person in both cases.

Pen names are cool; if I were to write something for public consumption I would almost certainly use a pen name.

I tend to go on overload when meeting new people, so their
names don't often make it into my long term memory. When
meeting them again, much of the time I'm either afraid I'll get
their names wrong, or I will just blank on a name that I know.

Oddly enough, I do come up with nonsensical names for people I'm close to, but I do call my husband by his given name rather than 'honey,' 'babe' or 'sweetie.' Those words sound very awkward to me, if not stupid. The nick-names I give family members and pets are words I tend to make up/invent rather than the typical endearments NTs use with each other. In fact, other than the above example, I don't think I've ever even spoken the words Honey, Sweetie or Babe.

I'm the same way. I cannot remember names to save my life, unless they're written down. I can then visualize the shape of the word in my head and remember it (eidetic memory when it comes to words), but when it's spoken to me I instantly forget it.

Another thing, too - I hate saying my own name out loud. I don't know why, but when I introduce myself (which I hate doing, but there are times when I have to), I give out my entire first, middle and last name, when plain old 'Jill' would do.

SO weird, I've always had this problem and I never connected it to autism. YES, I hate using people's names and feel awkward doing so. I also hate saying my name, like Rainstorm5.

In the book Look Me In the Eye by John Elder Robison, he also mentions he has trouble with names. He nicknames his brother first Snort, then Varmint. His parents are Stupid and Slave, his son is Cubby and his ex-wife Little Bear. I also have silly nicknames for people just like this guy.

Oo, oo, oooo! I just got a theory. Okay, any scientists with fancy degrees out there want to rip me off and research this? MAYbe, it is easier for some of us to call names of people less known because people who are close are seen more as people to us. Maybe we sort of see those who are less well known as just parts of our environment or something. Once we know people, though, they become something completely different. Parts of the environment probably feel less threatening than people with whom we share relationship and, inherently in that, risk. So not saying their names may be mentally equated with putting them back to a safe distance or place and feels like some protection against that risk? Huh, i'd love to know.

I agree with you completely.

I've tried them a few times, usually just to be funny, and it always feels wrong.

I do this too! In fact oftentimes the reason I have a hard time getting into a group is because I have a hard time using someone's name! Usually there are a few people such as some good friends and some instructors, that I can say their names pretty much when I need/want to address them.

I have an especially hard time with using the names of people who are my superior (in the sense of having more authority, or being someone I admire because of their experience or wisdom, rather than thinking of them as a superior overall person to me). Even when typing, I feel very uncomfortable using the names (even last names and formal titles) of people I admire, and also have a difficult with titles like Ms. / Mrs. Even when I know the one I should/want to use, it is awkward for me.

In a summer course I took at the community college, I was glad that I could go a semester without really knowing my professor's name (I also have difficulty with remembering names and with face recognition).

P.S. I also have difficulty with using someone's name who is close to me, but sometimes I do the opposite and use their name constantly (something I did more when I was younger than I do now).

I don't absorb names the way I do other information; I have to make a conscious effort to hear and recall someone's name or I'll lose it. Doesn't bother me when given names are used, though. Though I do prefer my name unabbreviated, which is odd because it's William, which shortens easily

Took me a while to start using my boyfriends name.

Also took me forever to start using names at work.

Yes, I really dislike hearing/using my own name too! Nicknames don't bother me, though I don't recall having any nicknames IRL (just online handles)...



Reading this thread (for me) has been downright uncanny. Not liking to use people's names seems to be nearly universal in the AS community, which I never would have suspected. I'm starting to think there might be a connection between eye contact and name use; it's like using people's names when I talk to them (or looking them in the eye) is too direct somehow. I've never had any trouble learning people's names though, just using them.

I can also relate to what most people have said here about the relationship between closeness and name use. If someone is close to me (friend, family member, etc.) I find it nearly impossible to use their name. But if I'm talking about a famous person, historical figure, someone I don't know, etc. I have no problem. It's like when someone is famous, I perceive them as more of an idea than an actual person, and somehow it's "safe". I also have no trouble using names of people I know in the third person.

Does anybody here have nieces or nephews? If so, how do feel about the use of "Aunt" or "Uncle"? Do family titles like that sort of weird you out? I have a niece an nephew myself, and even though I would never say so IRL, the title of Aunt makes me uneasy in the same way that my name does.