Attorney Needed- Were being discriminated against- HELP!!

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A lot of court systems are not open to reason or rational in decision making. I doesn't seem to make any sense unless frex's explanation is correct.

If nothing else works, try Dr. Phil and/or Oprah. Make sure your emails and/or phone calls are very persuasive. If either of them find your story interesting enough to be on their show, then they'll also be willing to help you. Not only would you get one of the best lawyers in the country, you would also spread awareness about AS to millions of people!

http://www.clementlawcenter.com/CM/Arti ... icles6.asp

http://www.divorcesolutions.com/answer. ... 764&qNum=3

Helpful information.

From what I've read it sounds like if it's in the best interest of the children, emotionally and financially, then you have a good case for moving to another state. Each case is reviewed individually. NY has become much more lenient in these cases.

If mother appears to be running away to get away from father, then it's another story.

You may want to rethink how you're going about this.

equinn

Wow. The U.S. laws in this case seem... excessive. That's clearly discrimination; but if the system is what is discriminating - what can be done?

I think this is the most frustrating part about my case as well, Ishmael. The system is the problem and I have to function in the system, but have no ability to do so.

I would very much like to see some legislation written that would implement a special advocate for children with disabilities in all family court cases. This would have to be a third party and completely neutral service provider. This advocate would have to spend time with the child in each home and in the presence of both parents. This would enable the advocate to understand not only the disability and the nature of it, but also the nature of how the child with the disability functions within the home and within the existing family system or systems. I feel like this is a very important part of working within the parameters of the system. The other part of this legislation would be to educate the family court system on disabilities in general.

Half of my time has been spent trying to make the court understand what Asperger's is and how it affects me and my son. I would hope that this would make stupid decisions obsolete and change stupid statements such as "the parent has the same disability, thus cannot be a good parent for this child" into "this parent has an integral knowledge of this disability, thus is the best parent for this child". Most family court cases involving children with disabilities, BTW have the element of one parent doing everything in the world about the disability and the other parent either denying the disability completely or being completely unable to cope with the family system dealing with the disability.

NY lawyers for the public interest got back to me. they do not handel my type of case . autisim speaks has STILL not repsonded to my e mail, nor had the local lady who i was hoping would. as for what the other poster asked about how they knew about my AS, the court pshycolgist demanded to see my SSI award letter and letter of diagnosis.she was very nice to me until she saw those papers. i feel she tricked me. then her attitude towards me changed- thats how she found out about my AS. i brought her proof that i was high functioning , non dilusional, not on meds and high iq and able to care for myself. her reply was 'lots of people would just love to sit at home, collect disabilaty and raise their kids. if theres nothing wrong with you then you should get a job' i told her my son IS 'MY JOB' and he needs me. this lady was the most biased person against me ive ever met!
i am getting disabilaty becuse of my AS i held a job/jobs for MANY years...it was stressfull but i did it. when i got pregnant i could no longer work, and my health went down the crapper..i never truly recovered. i chose to get disabilaty and take care of my son. perhaps when my son is older i will seek a job through an agencey that could place me in something i could handel. i am very smart, its just the dealing with public thing. as the other poster mentioned being a 'sperm donor' gives the father rights. ny has some of the most backward, anti mother laws there is. it dont matter if he never gave a dolllar dime or diaper or has even been a father to or seldom seen the child. ny state gives the 'father' rights. his aunt pushed him to get visitation shortly after the child was born- he didnt really have intrest, she was the driving force behind him...she wanted him to get it.i think she even paid for his lawyer. shed drive him to court and sit there leering at me on the side of the court room... perhaps because she knew that once he was granted visitation rights, hed have more of a 'hold' upon us for the future.. the situation with the judge is disimal..the antiquated court system we have here this is the same judge that has sat in family court for probbly over 30 years. hes an old man and i think his mind is set upon 'old time' thinking. this judge that i have now is the very same judge who gave my ex visitation rights in 2001- even after i showed abuse at his hands , his drug use, his un employed status and eventaul eviction/homelessness, lack of interest in the child- as the reason why i left him when 3 months pregnant. i technically have 'custody' since ive had the child in my care since before birth but as my attorney said without a LEGAL PAPER from the court that SAYS 'you have totoal custody' the father can challenge me for our son up until 6 months before his 18th birthday! so i have to get that paper to keep my son safe from that possibilaty. my son gets $500 a month from disabilaty because of his AS and other issues- needs medication (daytrana, risperdal for tics) physical and speech therapy ect.. and im thinking that his father who now knows this, mabey sees his son as a way to get more $$ to fuel his drug habbit- thats why hes fighting for him all of a sudden- and the jealousy thing..i went on with my life but he is still the same low life he will allways be, sucking his existance off of un suspectng women who are too blind to see that he is using them. he goes from woman to woman, house to house and seldom stays with someone more than a year or so..very un stable way of life.. my attorney claims he spoke to his attorney, and he is NOT challenging my custody, only trying to stop my relocation becuase it will interfere wih his visitation-there is some sort of rule that if he challenges my move based upon it effecting his abilaty to see the kid, he can have a good case..but he never WANTED to see his son until he found out i had my new husband/fiancae..then the jealousy and problems started. he is in NJ and living off of some druggie girl hes shacking up with and if i move it will mean he has to travel at least half way to see his son. OR to NY to meet him in a public place to see him he does not want to travel to NY .he basically wants me to bring the kid to HIM and make no effort and for me to foot all the bills..and im not going to do that any more or at all. i am sick over this whole thing, that I the victim went to the system for help and it has trapped me here away from my husband until they take their sweet ass time to make thier decisions. i cant possibly see how they will side with him, as i have proved that i am trying to give the child a better quality of life, but if they do i will appeal it.

What will happen to you if you move despite him? Would you be arrested? Sounds pretty radical. You're moving to live with new husband, right? Does new husband have stable job and income for yo uand your son? If so, then it sounds like a done deal.

Who, exactly, is telling you that you can not leave the state?

forgot to say:

With all the new publicity, I might take it to the news. Call your local paper. This would attract some sympathy and maybe some lawyers.

I think one of the most difficult thing about ASD is what you encountered with that case worker: the question, if you are so smart and high functioning, why can't you work? People aren't supposed to have a choice about staying home on the government dime to raise their children. They only get the government dime if they truly can't work. And the concept that interferes with ASD is stress. I can see it in my son, and I read it all the time on these forums: tasks that are completely within the capabilities of someone with as ASD may become too stressful to accomplish, to the point where it negatively affects everything about the person's health. I don't know how you explain this to someone who isn't familiar with ASD; it sounds like the case worker decider you were a shirker, taking advantage of the system, and that is why she turned cold. But it isn't that simple, and everyone here knows it.

I get Disability Support Pension at the moment
'n I use to go to Employment place every week lookin for work
They said "they didnt think I was ready to work yet"
n referred me to such n such a place til I get back on track
& then she said, "Then you can come back n say I'm ready to look for work now"
Ive worked before
Things arnt always as easy as it seems
I'm tryin to get myself out
but like I said "Things are not as easy as I wish
'n Ive tried and tried them
& still keep hoping theyll be
I know one day they WILL BE

the same thing is with me, but i kicked the alcoholic father out of the house, he continued to harass us not caring how it affected his child. He doesn't help us or pay any money to help. my advise is just move , move away, far. then send a letter to the father telling himyou moved so he will not have you arrestsed for abduction. then be thankful you have your self and your daughter alive.