Bathroom Sensory Issues

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As an aspie who does clinical work, I come across a lot of issues that I remember dealing with when I was a child... but I also come across ones I didn't. I rather enjoy those -- they're more of a challenge.

Sometimes the parent needs help figuring out what the issue is in the first place; I'm reasonably good at that. Sometimes I remember how I dealt with them myself and pass that on to the parents of the child. Sometimes I can think of a strategy myself; sometimes I've heard someone mention a few or read something that does so.

Sometimes, however, I need a bit of help.

I recently began working with the NT mother of three children, all of whom are on the spectrum. While the focus of our last conversation was her youngest child, she mentioned an... issue... that her middle child has.

Specifically, he refuses to use the toilet (for defecation, anyway). He understands the toilet's purpose, but refuses to sit on it. Instead, when he needs to "go", he'll half-fill the bathtub with warm water, sit in that, defecate, and manually move the feces into the toilet.

I suspect that it's a sensory issue -- he avoids touching cold things and a toilet seat can be rather cold. Similarly, I suspect that the purpose of the warm water is to offset the bathtub's chill so that he can sit there without touching cold porcelain.

Unfortunately, this isn't exactly the most sanitary method. It's also problematic in other ways, notably including the fact that not every bathroom has a bathtub.

In other words, we need to teach him a new strategy.

Do any of you have this issue? If so, how do you deal with it? If not, do you have any ideas for strategies?

Get a cushiony toilet seat...

P.S. This is not my bathroom, I found this image on photobucket.

^ Great idea. Also, you could let him pick it out.

While that helps somewhat, there remains the issue of what to do when he goes out -- he can't stay home all the time (if nothing else, there's school to consider!) and he certainly can't carry a toilet-cover everywhere he goes. The mother can't do that, either -- she has enough problems along those lines already (THREE kids on the spectrum!).

Someone I work with suggested teaching him to squat on the seat, but that introduces sanitation issues of a completely different sort...

I like the accoustical quality of tile bathrooms, sort of a hollow or cavernous sound your don't get in other rooms

Maybe some of those disposable seat covers like they have in public restrooms?

The things that keep bubbling up from my childhood...

No, I didn't do what you say this child is doing... but I had a strategy. It's only your asking about this that has caused the memories to well up in my mind.

I always used to cover the entire toilet seat with toilet paper, before sitting on it.

I don't think it was the coldness (I think our toilet seat was wooden, so it wasn't at all cold) or any sanitary thought. I really can't think of any "reason" why I did it.

As a strategy, it leaves something to be desired (a bit wasteful on paper), but who knows, maybe its better than the current shenanigans.

if it would be possible,desensitizing him to the toilet seat [what about getting some hand warmers and using them to heat up the seat,and over time lessening how hot it is],and slowly introducing the regular toilet into his routine.
it is good that something is being done about it now rather than later when it's very difficult and painful to change.

Okay, I wonder if it's a sensory issue with the seat at all, maybe he's just filling the bathtub with water to make it "resemble" the toilet.

You didn't mention how old this child is, but I remember when I was a kid I was scared of getting sucked down the hole or of something crawling out of it (too many late night low-budget horror movies). And those public restroom toilets with the sensor...you know the ones, they flush themselves? I was totally terrified of those darn things.

He's nonverbal, so it's rather hard to confirm that it's a sensory issue, yes, but it fits his general pattern of behavior -- his mother says that he avoids cold water like the plague, etc.

If it IS a fear of being sucked down the hole or something, it'll be a lot harder to address... but I really don't think that's it.

This topic reminds me of a traumatic moment from my childhood.

My mother took me on a boat ride (a ferry boat) across Lake Michigan when I was around 3 years old. I had to use the bathroom and she took me into what had to be the largest bathroom I'd ever seen. Well, she left me there and walked out of the room. I had toclimb up onto the toilet while holding the seat down (it had springs on it to pop up when people were finished using it, for some unknown reason I can't even fathom to this day). Anyway, I managed to finally climb up on it and sat down. Just as I was beginning to relax enough to do my business, the boat's horn went off. The noise was so loud that I screamed in terror. I tried to slide sideways off the can and that's when the seat sprang back up, pinning me up against the wall with one of my knees jammed up under my chin. I think I hung there like that for better than 15 minutes before my wayward mother came back in to check on me. By that time, I was crying uncontrollably. She laughed so hard that she had to lean against a wall for support. It's sort of funny to think back on it now, but it wasn't funny at the time, trust me. I was afraid of being alone in bathrooms for a long time after that. I didn't get over it until I was almost ten or eleven years old.

Some high-end toilet seats have warmers built into them, so they're not cold to sit down on. Maybe your son will feel comfortable with that. Although personally, I prefer cold toilet seats. Warm toilet seats feel like someone sat there right before me.

Just a thought. Run it under warm water, perhaps? Also could be explained as a life-ring if it is a fear of the flush... *shrug*


M.