inability to understand feelings?

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I'm wondering if a certain problem I have is an aspie thing or not. Sometimes I get hit with some complex emotional feelings that I don't understand. It can often come out of nowhere and instantly change my mood. Not sure how to explain, but, for example: recently I was chatting with an acquaintance about something, and then all of a sudden I became overwhelmed with depression and raging jealousy. Instantly went from being in a good mood to feeling like utter s**t and had to excuse myself by saying I felt unwell (which is true, but he took it to mean physically unwell).

In these cases I feel unable to break down or analyze what the hell exactly happened or why something made me feel the way I do or how I should deal with such emotions. I mean, I can vaguely discern the specific emotions I'm hit with (like jealousy, etc) but as for what it means or how to deal with it I don't know. It's sometimes quite painful and confusing because it makes me feel like a helpless child when I become like this. My therapist says it's probably because I am emotionally delayed so I process complex or adult experiences like a much younger person. I wonder, though, if this emotional delay or whatever she speaks about is a component of something larger like Asperger's. Or not. Just wondering if others ever felt like this. Thanks for reading this!

Hi Euippe,

How confusing and frustrating that must be for you!

I sometimes get an overwhelming and confusing set of emotions. Then I know (I have learned) that I need to get out of the situation instantly.

But, unlike you, I do know why it happens...: too much on my plate (people, obligations, work, etcetera).
And, unlike you, I am able to understand my emotions, at least, after awhile. It feels like all my emotions and logical thoughts are like (autumn) leaves blowing in the wind. When the wind (finally) dies down (and I am more at ease), the leaves fall in a 'pattern' and I realize what emotions I exactly had.

I hope this makes some sense....

I don’t know where your feelings came from. I always analyze every feeling I have so I always know why I feel something. As for feeling jealous and depressed, there is nothing wrong with feeling jealous. I have never understood why people look at jealousy as a negative feeling when in fact it is a very useful tool. Jealousy is an excellent motivator if you know how to use it. It motivates us to become better. Do you think we could have survived as a species as long as we have if jealousy was purely a negative emotion? Jealousy can be misused however. There are two ways to better ourselves, we can either make the other person worse or we can make ourselves better. The way we choose to use it is up to us. Don’t bury your feelings of envy, instead cultivate it, make it grow and flourish, turn it into anger and rage. First, use it to kill your feelings of depression. Anger and depression are mutually exclusive. They cannot exist together. Then use jealousy to make yourself better. Always remember one thing though, you don’t have to hurt others to feed your envy. Envy can be satisfied with personal achievement alone.

That makes me wonder, OP whether I paid attention heavily to my emotions when younger or didn't pay attention to them whether it's subconcious or not. Same applies now..hmm.

People with an ASD will experience problems with emotions, just as they do with socialization; their emotions, and the emotions of others.

Some people with an ASD actually lack specific emotions (whether they don't know how to recognize them, or they lack them entirely), whereas others feel them in a distorted way (too much, too little, etcetera).

Some feelings I have difficulty experiencing are anger and grief(such as I guess is normal at the loss of a loved one)...so they manifest in really akward round-about ways.
Love can be difficult for me too.

del 1

del 2

i know happy, sad, cranky and....i can not think of the other one.

i have a poverty of feelings and emotions.
i see an nt's rich emotional experience as i see a dolphin's sonar ability.

Sounds like Alexithymia? Or another source than Wikipedia: http://alexithymiadepot.blogspot.com/

It is defined as

Alexithymia is generally a part of ASDs, like CAPD (if you have an ASD label, it's superfluous to add it for example).

Not everyone with an ASD has Alexithymia [or CAPD], but a goodly portion do.

Back to the original post. I've always thought of myself as an emotional person. But when I look at it more carefully, the most common emotion I experience is usually a form of fear or anxiety, or anger cropping up as a result of one of those. There's not a whole lot of range. When I do experience something outside of my normal range, I really dig it. I sit there and go..."what the hell?"...and try to name it/analyze it/usually fail.

Music brings up a lot of feelings associated with the past that I didn't even realize I was having....like smell. Still hard to name, after the fact.