did you get bullied?

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All of these apply to me.

I've been bullied by the football team in high school, beaten up in front of cheering crowds and set-up by so called "friends", just because I was different, didn't talk to anyone and sucked at sports.

When I was in school I got picked on everyday it was just a given and nothing I did ever changed it. Someone somewhere picked on me daily no matter what. Okay, sure I picked on others. I ask you, how does someone get picked on every single day they are at school and NOT pick up some of the behaviour? I think I got in more trouble for the same behaviour, though. I got this idea early on, just from going to school, that everyone was against me they could be as nasty as they wanted to I was supposed to just put up with it (teachers called telling "taddling" and it was a no-no) and if I DARED to fight back I would get in much more trouble than any of the other kids did for picking on me. I resented this everyday and it used to make me soooooo unbelievably angry. I was sooooooo frustrated every single day putting up with all their crap and feeling soooooo powerless to do anything about it. I didn't feel like anyone was on my side EVER. By the time an authority figure did intervene it was because of something a neighbor kid was doing after school and not because of stuff that was happening in the school. By then I had lost complete faith in the public school system and absolutely didn't trust a soul there. I wouldn't talk to them or tell them what was going on, had no idea how to stand up for myself and just became very passive. My worst aggressors were neighbor kids not the kids at school.

It was nothing but a headache every single day. That on top of all my other problems. My schoolwork really suffered because of it and I was constantly stressed out, confused about other people so I started taking comfort in hating them every single day and eventually the only feeling I had for them was intense hatred that just turned into this passive aggression. Yes, I felt like the entire world hated me and was against me. This went on for years.

Now I feel better and am not nearly as consumed. It's taken a lot of effort to "deprogram". I honestly feel like being in the public school system was like being in a sick cult for ten years. There was no escape

ya but if anyone bullies my sister i WIll give em beating of their life like i did at age of 10 lol

I wasn't bullied until I had gone into grade 6, and part of that is because I had moved to another school. The kids in my previous school knew that I had some needs (even though autism wasn't really known back then, they knew I had some "learning disabilities" and they were nice to me) But being a new kid, and being at an awkward age, AND going to a school where NO ONE knew about any of my issues... thats when it started but from grade 7 and 9 it was pretty bad I fell into a huge depression. Not everyone bullied me verbally (never physical), just a few were bad.. but mostly I was shunned. Ironically today, one of my worst bullies has a child that is LFA. I do find that to be ironic.

AS Responses to Bullying

* Children with AS may have a blank facial expression, so the person taunting them does not realize how upset the child with AS is getting, until the child with AS lashes out. Could have been a problem for me

* A person with AS may try to ignore the bully. Then one day the child with AS cannot take it anymore and they will lash out. I often went off by myself to avoid trouble...which rarely worked. I went on the war path with a few bullies who tormented me. Dunno if they regret harassing me, but I don't regret retaliating as it was a last resort.

* Neurotypical children will defend themselves. For example, if the teacher says, ‘Did you punch Freddie’, the neurotypical child will say, ‘Yes, but he's been calling me names all day and he stole my lunch money etc etc’ I tried explaining myselff but was never successful with adults. Best guess-timation is that the adults didn't believe me.

* A child with AS will not defend themselves. For example, if the teacher says, ‘Did you punch Freddie, the child with AS will say ‘Yes’ and nothing more. They will be punished even though Freddie may have been physically and emotionally taunting them for days/weeks/months. See explanation above. Usually once I retaliated, the other kids did leave me alone. I had to get really violent to get them to stop though.

Tony Attwood reported females with AS may be better off at single sex schools because they are vulnerable to boys and more likely than neurotypical girls to experience sexual abuse/date-rape. dunno abut this because my bullies were just as likely to be girls as boys. I have been sexually abused as a child/adult, & have been raped. Both on dates & by my ex-husband (during the marriage).


Why Are Children With AS More Likely to be Targeted?

* They are naive, trusting and eager to be part of a group True for me

* Physically weaker I think others perceived me as being weak...physically I was quite strong when I needed to be.

* Show signs of anxiety Always...still have this problem!

* Low self-esteem Self-esteem? What's that?

* Insecure, shy Very much so!

* Engage in solitary pursuits (predators are more likely to target those who are alone) Only option available...I learned early on to distrust other human beings, no matter what their age! I was also shunned by most kids.

* Not successful at sports True!

* No extensive network of friends True!

* Less likely to retaliate with anger True! But watch out when I do get angry!

* Less likely to be supported by peers. Still true!

* Poor social skills. May be perceived as intrusive and irritating by peers and adults Still true!

* Socially clumsy, attention seeking or dominating Very clumsy socially, the others...not so much

* Child with AS doesn't recognize when to stop. True! No one ever explained to me behaviors that are acceptable vs those that aren't.

* Child with AS may be perceived as eccentric, not ‘cool’ LOL Yep I was/am a "geek!"

* Not good at characterization skills (eg People with AS cannot judge whether someone is of good character, or a predator). Also true.

What I find as bad is that the bullying has not been jut confined to school. It occurred at home (my parents & their family members were my very first bullies), in my neighborhood, before/after school, on/off campus. I have also been bullied at work, by doctors/dentists, attorneys, etc. I seem to be just as much a bully magnet at age 46 as I was as a kid. I have also been in abusive relationships with men from at least the age of 9.[b]

I've been bullied, and teased by my peers, in high school. I was also belittled for expressing opinions that weren't very popular, or mainstream.

Yes, very much bullied. I think I'm finally beginning to heal from it, though it will never be 100%.

Yes... And my god... I was dead set on being naive. LOL

People at my school thought I was a weirdo...

But damn. I was naive. LAWL.


* They are naive, trusting and eager to be part of a group
-ME~! !! !! (funny/sad story below)
* Physically weaker
-I was then- but not now
* Show signs of anxiety ME
* Low self-esteem ME
* Insecure, shy
-Not me I tried very, very hard to get into their groups sometimes not all the time. I would pretty much move to where ever they were and invite myself in. they didn't really like that.
* Engage in solitary pursuits (predators are more likely to target those who are alone)
-Yup. I did this... Then I would try to get in their groups and then find out it was more fun being alone
* Not successful at sports
- HAHA. Ha....ha... haaahaa, I can't catch a ball to save my life.
* No extensive network of friends
-Me
* Less likely to retaliate with anger
-Well. They said I had an anger issue. But looking back I had a lot of melt downs. My school wasn't too good at dealing with it so they just kepts bothering me until I hit, pinched or bit someone. x.x Silly schools with only 300 students
* Less likely to be supported by peers.
-Yup. They were sort of scared of me. They said they hated me because I made them feel dumb LOL.
* Poor social skills. May be perceived as intrusive and irritating by peers and adults
-Yup. See the note under Insecure, shy LOL
* Socially clumsy, attention seeking or dominating
-Clumsy... I never really wanted attention- or to dominate I don't think.
* Child with AS doesn't recognize when to stop.
-LOL me. -laughs-
* Child with AS may be perceived as eccentric, not ‘cool’
-Yup...
* Not good at characterization skills (eg People with AS cannot judge whether someone is of good character, or a predator).
-Yup... Read the funny/sad story. lol

Well I am over this kind of thing now- officially putting the sad part behind me when I left gradeschool. It is a funny now. You know what I mean?
When I was in elementary school- I used to sit by the wall of the school (where the detention kids were made to stand and face the wall LOL. And I would either play hopscotch alone... Or draw circles and stars with chalk. And this really pretty girl came over and was like "Hey- do you want to be friends! Let's play on the monkey bars!! !" and she was wearing white stockings... like tights... and a yellow dress. We probably shouldn't have played on the monkey bars with her wearing a dress... but it was ok because we were little. then- at the end of recess after we spent fifteen minutes (probably one of the happiest quarter hours of my life.) the teacher blew the whistle for us to leave the playground and I was doing a back bend while hanging from the bars. (Don't know how to explain it.) and she grabbed me around my lower back and pulled me to the ground... Then she said she could never wanted to be friends with me in the first place and walked away. I still have back problems.

I didn't make friends again until seventh grade... But those people are still my friends. (One I had met in fifth grade but we hated each other- LOL She was sort of following the crowd and I annoyed her- like everyone else. She is really nice though and we are still friend. The other I waited for her to leave until we graduated... She was way too pretty and nice and smart to hang out with the likes of me. LOL But we are still friends too!)

I need to take a class on summarizing.

I was bullied alot in comprehensive school (as was a close friend of mine) often by my so called friends (or friend in one case as the bullying she did to my close friend was awful) some people I've become friends with since (though one still gives me trouble and I've learnt to insult him before he starts one of his tirades) but many I'll have nothing to do with.

mikhailost> mmmh i dont understand the story about the little girl (well understood what you said) but why did she play with you, then said that you cannot be friend!!>??

Because children are cruel. She is still really good at that. She makes you get all hopeful and then crushes you like a cruel beautiful goddess. ^.^

Heehee No. I won't ever see that group of kids again. I graduated this year and they are gone. Actually. Though I remember what she looks like, and I can pick her out... I don't remember her name. I don't know the names of most the people in my school.

If I had a chance though- it would be a really good question to ask I guess. Since then I would hear people's reasons straight from their mouths. Well I will probably get picked on in college. So I will just ask them. It will be a similiar effect.