Joined: 20 Dec 2006 Age: 49 Gender: Female Posts: 8,601 Location: Hants, Uk
17 Apr 2007, 10:24 pm
I find saying sorry really hard and never seem to feel much when saying it, sadly. I also have issues saying thankyou and please, etc. I do not know why, when I have to say them it is as if something gets all coiled and knotted up inside and I feel desperately uncomfortable.
I say sorry for any and everything all the time. I catch myself apologizing endlessly when it's completely unnecessary. Actually, I don't even know if I really always mean it. Perhaps a bad habit?? LOL
Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 2,899 Location: Chicago, IL
17 Apr 2007, 10:33 pm
MAN, does THIS bring back memories! I used to have a BIG problem with it! *****NOW*****, I say it WAY too much. I rarely mean it though. It is almost like excuse me. 80% of the time I say excuse me, it is a reflex, and THEY hit ME! People just don't care today.
I always apologise things such as bumping into people or pushing them... and it REALLY bothers me if they don't do the same when they've, for example, bumped into me.
On the other hand, it used to be hard for me to apologise for bad behaviour, or things I didn't do. Thanks to my parents, I'm quite used to it now, but it still takes some pressure to do it.
Joined: 5 Apr 2007 Age: 42 Gender: Male Posts: 11,038 Location: London
18 Apr 2007, 9:20 am
I say sorry in martial arts you're not supposed to do that.
Sometimes I think apologies are a bit simplistic. NTs seem to be obsessed with apologies. Like I don't get how you can apologise for something you didn't do, even if you 'represent' the incarnation of the thing that was vaguely responsible. I don't get what difference it makes sometimes. Like will an apology really help you move on it is just some words?
If I feel threatened or encroached. I'm not really sorry for my actions. A lot of situation doesn’t fit forgiveness it is not like that.
I could never, ever make promises I could not keep either. It feels like lying to me too and I'd feel extremely guilty. Even sometimes if i promise something and absolutely cannot follow through due to no fault of my own, it about eats me alive.
I actually usually ended up confused alot as I tend to believe whatever people say and then I think, why did they say that if they don't mean it?? what's the point?? but i do now that I'm older understand it's about control but never understood that for many years...
Joined: 16 May 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1 Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA
08 Sep 2008, 7:59 pm
I'm always very quick to apologize. The problem is, I say sorry way too much, especially when I think I may have said or done something stupid. It drove my ex-girlfriend nuts.
Joined: 21 Aug 2008 Age: 49 Gender: Female Posts: 1,305 Location: not anywhere near you
08 Sep 2008, 8:04 pm
It's never easy to admit your mistakes but we know that in our lives we have made some. And IF I know for a fact that I had hurt someone's feelings without meaning to, or even meaning to and thought about how wrong I was, I will have no problems with saying I am sorry. However I will never apologize for something that I don't feel I did wrong even if someone else may think so. If I don't feel there is a reason to apologize, I won't. If so, I will.
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