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Pook
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13 Sep 2008, 10:04 pm

Apatura wrote:
"You're so quiet..."
"You're always so serious..."
"What's wrong?..."
"You never smile..."

:roll:


Oh geez you too? Couldn't tell you how many times I've heard all 4 of them :roll:



Ryn
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13 Sep 2008, 11:13 pm

God yes. Thursday I went to a party with two people, and the subject came up that "Oh, you're so quiet that I never expected you to swear/be bi/be able to yell at some perverted stranger/etc." It gets really old. I was also unusually Aspie that day due to the party, so I put my foot in my mouth and remembered the address and how many miles to the tenth decimal place it was from our starting point from memory.


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Bunko
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13 Sep 2008, 11:19 pm

It sounds like either a clumsy way of getting you to say more or a bit of hen pecking. You're best just saying something short and funny as a response. Something like "wait til I've had a few drinks". If you get visably annoyed they'll just resent you especially if they were just making a joke (albeit a clumsy, unfunny one).



Adrenaline
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13 Sep 2008, 11:22 pm

Yes, I want to throw a pity party,
I would like to know how I can get others to join me?



Who_Am_I
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13 Sep 2008, 11:23 pm

I hear that a lot. My response is "I know."


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blue_bean
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14 Sep 2008, 3:17 am

mysterious_misfit wrote:
No $%!^, you #$%^&*! :x

So I just got introduced to a person and said, "Nice to meet you," and shook his hand. The next thing out of his mouth was, "You're pretty quiet." Having heard this phrase tens of thousands of times before, I nodded and mumbled, "yeah." Then I felt offended and turned away and ignored him.

Gee, thanks for pointing out my social iniquities, mister. Is it that obvious? Can people really tell there is something 'off' about me within 30 seconds? Now I feel depressed.


He was rather quick to make that judgment, I must say :?
He could of at least asked you a few questions about you first, before saying it.

I hate when people say this to me as well. It always seems to imply that they find my silence annoying and I'm not worth the hassle to interract with.



Atomsk
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14 Sep 2008, 6:32 am

prillix wrote:
"You're pretty quiet"
"Yeah we'll you're pretty loud"


I lol'd IRL.



Bradleigh
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14 Sep 2008, 6:53 am

I hate it when people do this, it makes me look so bad, as they think it is just an observation but it is actualy an insult. But I think that it might eventualy be a charm and could be some use, maybe there are some girls out there that find it attractive.


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Mysty
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14 Sep 2008, 8:34 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I used to get that a lot when I was a kid. It's really lame, as you wouldn't go upto someone and say "wow, you're pretty fat!" or "wow, you're pretty ugly!"

It pisses me off too.


The implication seems to be that saying someone is quiet is an insult. (Not just in this post I'm quoting, but this one shows it well.)

Why? What's wrong with quiet?

Now, I don't know how the guy (mentioned in the original post) said it, so I've no clue if it was friendly or not. But it certainly could be said as a friendly conversation opener.

If we can say things and they mean just what they mean, and nothing more, why can't those making observations about us do that same thing? Why can't it just be a neutral observation? In this case, a rather hasty one without much observing behind it, but, still, an observation, with nothing insulting about it.



Mindovermatter
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14 Sep 2008, 8:39 am

I get that alot. I assume he was making an innocent observation. People tend to accept you for who you are I find.



mysterious_misfit
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14 Sep 2008, 8:49 am

Bradleigh wrote:
I hate it when people do this, it makes me look so bad, as they think it is just an observation but it is actualy an insult. But I think that it might eventualy be a charm and could be some use, maybe there are some girls out there that find it attractive.


I find it attractive. :)

---

But anyway, I was thinking more about this. I thought I was doing pretty well, going out to be with people, and then I get this snap judgement. It was like, "Wow, I have more obvious problems than I thought." :( Slap in the face.



WillMcC
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14 Sep 2008, 9:02 am

If someone said that to me, I would probably just nod. Being quiet also cuts down on people asking me where I'm from, which really gets tedious.


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BigT
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14 Sep 2008, 10:24 am

I get it all the time. Sometimes people say to me 'your very quiet' even if nearly everybody in a room hasn't even said anything. How do they tell?



natesmom
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14 Sep 2008, 10:39 am

My husband has the same thing happen to him all the time. It really irks him when someone tells him he is shy. That really gets him. He is not shy. People just like to hear themselves speak. Often times if you don't say something in a 30 second period, they assume you are quite. No, I doubt they truly think something is off with you.

People who say things like that are often impulsive and probably are not even thinking before they speak. try not to dwell on other people's impulsive speech.



CMaximus
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14 Sep 2008, 11:00 am

I'm pretty sure no one puts any kind of thought into these kinds of comments, they're just filling air automatically. It can be kind of irritating, but they probably wouldn't consider that you'd dwell on it, so it's nothing personal. I get defensive like this when people ask me about myself in a seemingly trifling way, too.



Tortuga
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14 Sep 2008, 11:36 am

People used to say that to me all the time when I was younger. My standard reply was, "My friends and family would disagree."