Could I have aspergers?

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About me...

I'm 21

I am a mechanical engineering senior at the University of Florida so I am good at math which is a common stereotype with AS people.

When I was a kid I always liked cars. I would read car magazines all the time and my dad is a car dealer. At one point I could
go to the dealer auction with my dad with about 2,000-3,000 cars and tell the price/make/model/gas mileage/horsepower/torque of almost every car.
I never set out to just 'memorize' that stuff. I just was really into it. I liked it. I always got the car magazines and auction reports and loved
reading every page. Now I can't really recall all of that but I still can guess kinda close. It's been maybe 3-4 years since I would get really into it.

I have never been into any sexual relationship of any kind. I remember in high school girls that would really be into me but I never could get into to them.
They where very pretty interesting people but I just felt that I couldn't be with them. I even remember being on the bus with some girl shoving her damn boobs
in my face wanting to go at it and I didn"t want anything with it. I felt frightened more than anything else.

When I was a kid I was in the band playing drums. My life from elementary school all the way to high school I always went to class, band, and I went home to
my room and did a bunch of things by myself. I was always was interested in just playing my drum set or doing everything on the Internet. I created many websites
and chatted all the time on the net. I never could hang out with people. I never saw the point. In high school when I wasn't in class I ended up hanging
out with the 'emo'goth' crowd. Almost every one was into some crazy drugs but I never tried anything in high school even alcohol. A year ago I got into weed
and I loved it! I'm not really sure what liked about it but I just had to get more. I have been a regular with it for a while but about 2 months ago I felt that
I shouldn't do it anymore so I stopped.

Now I do consume alcohol quite a bite at night just to feel good.

I NEVER can get close to people. For a while I couldn't even say to my mom or dad "I love you." Now I can but it's only after they say it so I'm not sure if it's
just automatic or I really feel it. I do love them very much and feel so bad sometimes that I can't tell them I do care for them more than anybody else in
the world but I feel this block in my head that I just can't. Since I never have dated and among other things my mom confronted me wondering if I was gay. I'm
not at all.

I didn't even finish high school. I left my senior year to go to a technical school. The only reason I was in HS was the band and I left it when I just didn't
get along with the band director. She also quit that year. The last dance I went to was in my first year of middle school and it was because I copied many
tickets and sold them for a nice profit.

I do have some 'friends' that I do go out with but it's not that often. I have to go out and call them and talk them into taking me and it's always
these damn clubs which I HATE! I can't stand watching these men rubbing on slu*ty girls. It just doesn't feel right to me. I just watch what's going on and get
wasted. I could never dance with a girl unless she forced me and I was too drunk to know what I'm doing. I was only in a strip club once on my 21st birthday
and that was because I was so drunk I was just following my friend.

The last month or so all I do is go to school and go home and study or watch TV. I have not done anything else but go to the store for food or rock climb.
I do like to rock climb but it's always by myself. I climb at an indoor gym.

I like being by myself. I only know a few people that I can even stand. So many girls at my school are the 'O MY GAWD' type I just cringe at at them. I know
one girl that I can trust at all and she seems to not give back. She just got a boyfriend so I can understand. I just really want to talk sometimes. I feel that
none of my other 'friends' can get me.

I am vegan and so is that girl. We both love the same music and always go to concerts too. I dunno...

I can go into detail with many things just ask... I never have seen psychologist before. I do not have insurance or plan on telling my parents to pay to see a psychologist.
My dad is not that type to believe in what a psychologist would say.

Definitely some Aspie traits there. Memorizing facts about cars is a pretty classic special interest. You could be asexual or a late-bloomer; both are more common among Aspies (and there's nothing wrong with either one! and just fyi, asexual just means "don't want sex", not necessarily "don't want romance"...) but both also happen often enough among typical people.

You may not need a psychologist; many Aspies, especially "borderline" Aspies, stay undiagnosed, and it doesn't really hurt them. If you want to know "for sure" you would probably have to go to a specialist in adult autism! Many psychologists aren't trained in recognizing this newly defined condition.

Reason to seek a diagnosis:
You feel a strong need to know whether you are autistic. (But a professional diagnosis may not be enough confirmation for some! Psychologists can be wrong...)
You need accommodations at work or school.
You have problems taking care of yourself or keeping a job, and you need help.
You have a mental illness (depression and the anxiety disorders are common among Aspies), and you need the psychologist to take your Asperger's into account when you get counseling and/or meds for it.

Reasons not to seek a diagnosis:
People with a psychiatric diagnosis can be barred from some jobs, such as being a 911 operator or police officer.
If you reveal your AS to others, you may be the target of prejudice.
You may want to stay out of the mental health-care system.
It could present a barrier to becoming a foster or adoptive parent.

I thought being good at math was an Asian stereotype. I'm not saying the stereotype is true. I'm just saying that if you're going to stereotype people, you should at least keep them straight.

It sounds like a definite possibility - if you're not AS you at least sound like you're on the spectrum. Welcome!

Oh, and here's a link to a test for people who suspect they are autistic...it's really quick.
http://msnbc.com/modules/newsweek/autis ... efault.asp

I left high school too:( It was a matter of being overloaded with schoolwork that I guess, I was too disorganized to do, and not having any friends. Plus, I found other friends elsewhere that didn't go to my school.
I guess you could have AS.

Welcome to WP!

It's good to understand yourself.
The social aspects of yourself you describe would point towards a degree of Aspidity.
You sound relatively contented, so what crossed my mind was what it is that's troubling you.
Is it familial or peer pressure about getting a G/F or your own concerns about not being a socialite ?
The big bugbear for a lot of Aspoids is the hostility encountered by wider society - and just holding place.
I'm sure you'll find plenty in here that you can relate to - and use to come to your own conclusions about your Aspergidity.
Many older folks here are self-diagnosed, since the condition wasn't really part of the psych-lexicon until the middle '80's - and are happy with that, since self-understanding is all they seek.
Some younger folk wonder whether they should publicise their condition - many because they believe it will reduce the bullying and ostracisation they experience .... something that I believe, is not likely to occur.

Bullying is a powerful drive in bullies - and appealing to their 'better nature' often has the reverse effect.

Think very LONG and very HARD about whether and to whom you want to reveal your suspicions about yourself.

Some folk want an official diagnosis - for reasons I can never exactly fathom.
But for most people, it's enough to find themselves amongst like-wired others.

It's not important to me to have it on paper. It's just that I'm not sure if somebody would believe me sometimes. I would never go around and just tell people I might have AS.

I get along fine with people I know well or can relate to. It's just if I don't know you I have nothing to say to you. When I'm at the grocery store checking out the lady might say "So how is your day?" I can't come up with anything more then just saying "fine." I guess I could say How is yours or something but it feels so odd and awkward I don't bother.

I'd like to say bless you when a person sneezes but then again it always comes out very awkward. If I think a friend looks good today I'd love to compliment them but I don't.

I can type alot more then what I can say. I can email / chat so much more then when I am face to face with somebody.

I sure know how it feels to think you've got AS but not to be sure - that's exactly where I'm at right now.

I agree it's worth trying an online test or two as a first step. I found the Rdos test (see sinsboldly's post for URL) was user-friendly. There's a lot of questions (about 200), so it's more likely to be significant, although of course it takes a little longer to do.

I'm still unsure even though my results were quite positive - the tests don't claim to be "diagnostic." It's actually got me rattled because I was assuming I wasn't before, and the tests forced me to accept I could well be. But you'll probably feel better - the fact you're already here talking about it suggests you're already bothered by it, so a test could make you feel better.
Hope so anyway. Good luck

If you really want to know with as much certainty as you can without consulting a professional, you could take a psychology class (abnormal psychology covers diagnosis most), which is enough to understand how diagnosis is done. Then study autism, specifically, and AS in particular. By then you should have a clear understanding of the DSM-IV and ICD-10 criteria to decide whether or not your traits are strong enough to be diagnosable as Asperger's. It's not good for anything but self-knowledge--still, self-knowledge can be really good for problem-solving of all sorts.