freak outs

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Anyone else here ever lose control over a freak out and wish they could take everything they did back? I don't freak out often--I am told I am a pretty laid back type of person; many people tell me I am mellow and some even the most mellow they have ever met. I think the reason why I lose it is due to some sort of seperation anxiety. It's like I can handle everything until I "feel" like I am being left. This is a totally new thing to me because I married my first boyfriend and with our divorce moving right along and me finally being ready to meet other guys, I just came across this now. I've never experienced being dumped until this past year.

Anyways, it is something about me I do not like at all and want to change, but I don't know how. I thought hearing other's experiences may help me figure out how to better control my emotions and actions in such situations.

Sigh. I don't like being a difficult person ever.

I'm not sure if this is what you mean by a freak out, but when I'm remembering something bad that happened I'll sometimes start talking without me realizing it. I'll be saying somethnig random, like "I like chicken." It's like I'm talking to try to distract myself.

I guess freak outs are different for different people. But I was referring to doing things more out of anger and fear than being rational.

Generally I regret anything I said and did later, and as I said--it is rare that I ever do things like that. I suppose telling someone to quit e-mailing could be a freak out. If you feel that you should have handled the situation differently and not just cut off contact than yes, that is the type of freak out i am referring too. I don't know if it would be considered unempathetic. If I feel guilt afterwards, then I use that as my guide. And then work on myself to quit doing whatever it was and try to give people the benefit of the doubt from there on out.

I wish it was easier for me to realize before I do something than after that I should just not do it.

You mean like yelling, throwing things, saying things that you regret later on? Because thats what happens to me.

yeah. . . .

Although with me it is sending e-mails I shouldn't. Perhaps I would do better to keep a notebook and write everything in there and then no one ever has to know and I would get it all out.

Everyone has their thing. I find that people seem to be ok with me forgiving their things but don't want to let mine go.

It's just terrible to feel like you have no control over the situation what so ever!