Social worker doesn't believe my diagnosis

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Thank you for the responses everyone! They have helped to clarify what is going on in my head. I don't think I will be meeting the social worker again very soon, but I need to figure out how to deal with him in the future. I'm half tempted to email him with some information, but fear over-reacting may cause more problems in the long run.

pandd - Thank you for your lengthy reply. I have taken on board that what he said was derogatory, but if I respond in an aggressive way, I will only further back his beliefs that I am convincing myself that I am autistic (by blocking out any information or suggestions to the contrary). For this reason I also feel cornered in that I cannot chase up anti-discrimination laws, I simply have to explain my beliefs to this man calmly and rationally and hope he learns something (however, to be frank, I am utterly fed up of being a source of knowledge for all those working with me, I wish they would come to me with the knowledge beforehand).

pakled - "Spectrum" is indeed the key. This man clearly has no understanding of what that means.

wrongchild - Thank you for sharing your experiences with humour. I think this man's query was because I have a recognisable sense of humour and it made him laugh, but in private my sense of humour can be something not many people understand. I'm sure your classmates are wrong, it's just that different people "click" better.

Tahitiii - I don't think it's that simple. I'm finally looking forwards to something solid (housing and adaptations, etc.) so I'm in the precarious position of not wanting to cause any friction. I have to endure this man if I possibly can to achieve my higher priorities.

Eggman - I would probably miss/fall over.

MemberSix - I wish that was true.

ToughDiamond - There are always warped dynamics when you go to people "for help", no matter how assertive and sure of yourself you are, they often seem to feel that they (and their opinions) are above you or worth more. I said to the social worker that when it was first suggested I had a learning disorder/autism, I was offended/defensive and found it difficult to deal with. Once I read up on the subject I had to eat my humble pie as it was clearly the truth. It has since been helpful. What you wrote about someone "unpicking" that journey really hits the nail on the head. He simply hasn't a clue, and has chosen to attack my integrity rather than attempt to educate himself.

Saffy - My immediate instincts were "who are you to ask a question like that?" but it seemed innapropriate at the time. A heavily negative response would have confirmed his belief that I'm unwilling to listen/answer to questions or suggestions that contradict the idea of my being AS. Instead, I tried to answer his queries as matter of factly as I could, but essentially your point is spot on. He has overstepped his role.

lotusblossom - I know all about psychodynamics (unfortunately!) as I was subjected to years of that drivel before finding a specialist who knew what was really going on. This social worker keeps refering to some strange things that must have been written by a (psychodynamic) therapist in my notes, which he appears to have taken as confirmation of his doubts. I find the entire thing quite creepy and hugely biased. Thank you for your suggestion of an advocate. I'm unsure whether I will try to get in contact with one as it may seem like quite a defensive response to the social worker's queries. It will also be quite a task to communicate the situation to an advocate, and given that I'm fairly able to represent myself it might not be necessary. However, it's good to know there are people available that might help and I will contact NAS for advice on the matter. I'm sorry to hear that you have had the same dismissals from social workers, I also feel the strain of ignorance and stereotypes (although, even if I did clutch at a battery collection this man would say I had only done it as I was copying something I had read in a book). Urgh.

Whatever MarchViolets does, it should be firmly one way or the other. Leaping half-way across a chasm doesn't work. Either:
a) Lay low and pretend you didn't notice the social worker's attitude. You want one practical, tangible thing from this moron, and once you get it you will be free of him. Or
b) Don't waste another minute, report him, and ask for someone else.

It's absolutely a power thing. You are a threat to their delusions of godhood.


It's a massive shift for them, too, and they are not willing to accept it. My existence is messing with their whole perception of reality. They have no choice but to dismiss me.


He will continue to have this attitude until he is forced by some higher authority to change.
In his tiny mind, an Aspie is just a certified loony, a mental ward patient (= prisoner).
Nothing you say will impress him.

In my case, it is that simple. They can whisper behind my back and make decisions for me without even telling me what they are thinking and why.
My husband (borderline personality, control freak) had some kind of a breakdown a couple of months ago and claimed that I was threatening suicide. It was a flat-out lie -- it has never entered my mind. I didn't even know about that part until AFTER I busted out of there. They didn't tell me what they were thinking or doing or why, they just tried to haul me to the loony bin by force.
Once you're in that guard/prisoner mode, there's nothing you can say that will impress him.

I have considered your advice, but I'm not sure I agree. It's perfectly okay to rationalise what he said with him rather than pretending not to notice his attitude when he has asked me pointed questions. I presented him with new information and pointed out that the people who diagnosed me took in his queries. He was noting down references as I said them and did end up apologising. I'm not going to assume he is a lost cause, that is as uncessesarily judgemental as he has been towards me.

I will probably opt more for option A, in so far as I'd rather forget the whole thing and move on - let him have his opinion. However, I think it's fine to compromise - it's not so much leaping half-way across a chasm as it is that I've walked half way across a bridge. He might decide to not meet me in the middle. That's his choice, but I'm not going to let myself appear unwilling or defensive - perhaps fatigued, though.




Your comment made me smile, I completely agree.



I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. I've had similar treatment - especially the part where you said "they didn't tell me what they were thinking or doing or why". It's almost like they feel we need discipline or a firm hand, which really amounts to deaf ears and force, when all we really need is understanding, two-way communication and compromise.

MarchViolets,
that social worker may have not much experience with autism or as so they have little to go on,he needs some extra training.

whether they are in the mental health team or the learning disability team-and whether they are new can also make a difference to what they say.
am recommend getting another social worker if that isnt all they're ignorant on,some social workers are not suitable,and have more experience in other conditions.

Am have severe autism and have own humour at toddler level [can find anything am looking at/ doing or noises am hearing funny] and have never been told am not autistic because of this either-even by the most ignorant in care,teaching,support,SS and health.

If become a service user of the NAS,they may be able to give the social worker some training [the NAS keyworker/one of the support staff am have and their managers do training here] and maybe even offer more-if want to use any of their services,they can get the funding as well.

Thank you very much for your reply and helpful suggestions. I will definitely contact NAS.

Without getting too wordy, essentially my wishes are to be put with the disability team. They refuse on the grounds of my large mental health history (prior to diagnosis) and my IQ (I mentioned that if I had my legs chopped off but had a high IQ it wouldn't come into it, but it falls on deaf ears).

My main points were that, firstly, the mental health team has no disability expertise, whereas it is recognised that those with disabilities can become mentally unwell or unhappy, and that since it is possible to travel from disability to mental health but not vice versa it is obvious that the disability team would have more to offer me. Secondly, if I was to become mentally unwell, the mental health team would go straight to a disability specialist to find the cause of my distress. So the mental health team is of absolutely no benefit to me whatsoever, and I even suspect that the decision is to do with saving money. Clearly, this man's views of my disorder have only gone to reflect how inapropriate a mental health worker might well be.


I have discussed the situation with my mum and have decided that my plan of action will be to contact NAS. I will ask for advice and an advocate (and any other support they suggest). I will then hold a meeting with my mum, the social worker, an autism advocate, possibly the person working above him and myself. We will then (with independent backup/support, as our own voices are clearly ignored) tell him that it is not a matter of whether or not I am AS, but whether or not he wants to re-educate himself, and we will tell him that if he fails to understand, then it is his duty to step down from his role working with me. I will be 20 years old in no time and refuse to work or be surrounded by people who allude to the idea that I am "playing into" anything, for obvious reasons and for the sake of my wellbeing.

That sounds like just the right course of action!

Good luck with it ! and let us know what happens

It's not impossible to have AS+Personality disorder. I'm not saying you do; just that there's more than just either/or. It's easy to miss options when you think in binary like that.

Thank you! I will let you know.



The social worker hasn't said he feels I have a disorder in conjunction with AS, but that he feels I am simply not AS (based on his minimal experience of aspergers). Even if he did feel I had a "personality disorder" he wouldn't be qualified to assess it and hasn't met me enough times for his opinion to be taken seriously. I have not implied that I believe AS cannot come in conjunction with other disorders and so I am not sure where you are coming from.

This social worker sounds like a prime time loser. You really should seek someone with, well a brain would be a good place to start, if you want a proper diagnoses. I don't know how I'd be able to put up with the things he said to you. I'd be all like, "I'm a human being, not some rat you can just assess objectively. Oh wait, are you going to now write down I have a conduct disorder, cause I actually spoke up to you?"

I'd get him changed.

To my mind, he's just trying to upset you - like a Holocaust-denier to someone Jewish.
Just another form of bullying.

The people he has seen may be humorous when the situation calls for it, when they're around people they're comfortable with, when it's on their terms, he might not understand their humour [or how they present it], etcetera.

Being the "joker" is one way people with AS can learn to interact with others; since they lack the whole social reciprocation thingy, joking around is a way to interact.

I've seen the same statements from "experts" in relation to Asperger's and humour; this actually comes from Hans Asperger and how he pointed out that one of the boys didn't have a sense of humour. It's just like saying everyone with Asperger's is a "little professor", when he was also only talking about an individual. People applied this to the label itself, rather than individuals with the label. People with AS can lack a sense of humour, or they can constantly joke around (and the things in-between).

O, and having a sense of humour has nothing to do with "functioning". I've seen some pretty funny people with "LFA".

He thinks you already know too much about it and are placing a self diagnosis on yourself. That is why he said, "It doesn't feel right."
The guy is obviously ignorant if he says that having a sense of humor excludes you from the spectrum. Even the real rain man has a great sense of humor and he uses it more often than the average joe.

Forget what everyone says and surround yourself with supportive people. Be the best person you can be and don't worry about labels so much.
If you identify with aspies then be here now and find yourself without other people having to search for you.

Callista- If you are refering to me saying that the social worker suggested that I had PD. I have not, Ive been fully assessed and I dont have PD.

I dont think there is anything wrong with people having PD but I think it is poor form for social workers to suggest people have it because the patient is arguing with their opinion. Its a get out clause to excuse treating people poorly and its not ok, in actual fact social servises should give a service to people with PD and treat them decently but it doesnt, it treats them like purposeful trouble makers.


I am not PD but I do come across as arogant and aloof which can lead people to think that I am being purposfully difficult and grandiose.

violet_yoshi – Thank you for your response. It can be exhausting to have to present as rational and calm in response to people who are themselves not presenting that way, but there is no other way forwards.

I do already have a proper diagnosis. It’s the social worker’s job to understand that and help me, not comment on whether the diagnosis is accurate or not.

Magnus – I’m all too aware that he believes I’ve placed the diagnosis on myself. As you said, he is ignorant. It isn’t his ignorance that offends me at all, but his arrogance in instantly assuming that his lack of knowledge must mean there is a fault with the other professionals involved, or my personal integrity.



Thank you for the kind words. It isn’t really possible for me to entirely ignore him and “surround myself with supportive people” though, as my main support system is yet to be arranged, and it’s the social worker who will be helping me to arrange it.

I already am the best person I can be and I’m not the one worrying about labels, it’s the social worker doing that. However, a diagnosis is a pretty important label as it is supposed to reflect a person’s needs and effects the understanding and help they may or may not receive. His beliefs are a serious problem if he’s supposed to be a central figure in making sure I actually cope when I move out alone for the first time.

Danielismyname - Thank you for your response, I found it reassuring. I do understand that humour is unrelated to other areas of functioning, but as far as verbal ability (intonation, sarcasm, etc.) is concerned the social worker implied I was functioning at a “higher level” than those he had worked with in the past (whatever that truly means). Part of my response was that it is indeed easy to be verbal when in a dimly lit room, sat down, with no challenges except the conversation, and that he would see my real overall ability levels if I had to do a set task. To be adequate or good in one area while lacking in another is such a simple concept, yet it’s one that appears lost on an alarming number of people.

MemberSix – I don’t think he is trying to upset me. It simply wouldn’t do him any favours to try and upset me. I think he's got a case of "lazy thinking" where he hasn't actually correlated all the bits of information in order to make proper sense of it.

But the point is that even if he's not TRYING to upset you (which you can't know), what he's doing IS upsetting you.
Why don't you tell him that you find his pop-psychology analytics offensive ?
He's there to serve YOU - not vice versa.
To my mind, it's like someone telling a paraplegic they have no disability and should stop malingering.
Plain offensive.
No necessity.
Kick him into touch.
What gives him the right to question an official dx ?
Is he a qualified psychiatrist specialising in ASD's ?
Is he an ignorant twat causing distress to someone he's supposed to be helping ?
You decide.

His inference presumably was, that since you're obviously not Aspergic, you're obtaining his services by deception.

Next time he questions your Aspidity, ask him if he thinks you're faking it to obtain disability services ?

That should bring things into focus for him.

If he says 'no', then tell him that's the last time you want to discuss the matter.

If that doesn't work, get him taken off your case for falsely accusing you of fraud.

If that doesn't work, give me his address and I'll have him 'spoken to' (note heavy use of euphemistics)

Keep in mind that there are two kinds of ignorant people - those who are open to learning, and those who are highly resistant to any knowledge that challenges their rigid views on things. Sometimes it helps to work out which one you are dealing with before deciding on a course of action .