Do you tell other people you have AS (or an ASD)?

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Not all realize that it can seem much like it does to you. And others, like daniel, figure it must be BAD if it is a medical "syndrome". Still others, like my boss, may reassess even well established FACTS in the face of such things. So the idea of not being vocal is understandable.

Some of the response I have gotten from telling someone that I have AS

1) Are you taking medication for it
2) Does that mean you hear voices in your head?
3) I have AS too
4) So that's why you're weird.
5) Why the <expletive> did you get it diagnosed

The person I told today (actualyl Flakey vollunteered the info) , seemed very skeptical and asked me what the course of treatment was for it was.

Yep.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Not really. I only tell if they ask me what I have or certain people but I don't go around telling strangers or anyone at work. I have thought about it thinking I would be understood better but decided against it. I don't want to get treated any different or get fired or start getting treated worse.


It's impossible to not tell your doctors because they ask you about your medical history and what you have been diagnosed with, unless you want to lie. I think they all pick up on my symptoms. My new therapist made a comment about me not looking at her and said "but that's okay because I understand it's hard for people with Aspergers to do eye contact. You look at me and turn away quick and your voice is sometimes loud and the way you talk."


Hearing loss people, that's why I talk different. Been sounding that way since age six when I turned into a big talker.

Used to be embarrassed as hell about it. But nowadays, I'm pretty open about it. Only I just call it "Autism", since most people I meet think I'm normal and when finding out I have it won't think I'm that effected. Many people have never heard about AS, so all's well.

I thought I made clear why I don't tell people. Let me state it more plainly: I don't want to give unknowing people a convenient justification for discrediting what I say or do. If you try to use AS as an explanation to someone who hasn't studied it on an academic level, they'll start using this knowledge to manipulate you and/or cast doubt on you. Co-workers, classmates and neighbors can be especially insideous about it, depending on how strong they secretly feel about you. Then you can go through the hassle of starting over with a new job or moving far away. That makes it not worth the risk for me. They don't need to know.

It's good that I know, because then I know why every social interaction feels like such a weird, unwanted experience to me. Knowing clears my mind of any uncertainty, allowing me to offer responses that people accept at face value. You can pre-plan responses that explain why you don't like something without asking for special consideration. If they're someone you care about, you're probably going to be spending more time around them in the future, which might lead to them eventually just figuring it out. But by that time, they'll like other things about you, enough that they won't be scared off. That's much better than trying to explain what AS is AND THEN hoping that the sharing of this info will help. The only people who want to know you have it are the ones with ill intent.

I do not tell when there's no problem.

I tell when I can't do/participate/etc at anything and I'm forced to by people, law, whatever.

Or when people, based on that I do tag along but cannot do it like everyone else, think I'm ret*d. Then I tell them too, often. Not that it changes anything about their perception, they just then think HFA/AS = MR.

Anyway, I do have a professional diagnosis for that reason. It's because I'm not that good with being undercover and not able to just make my way through everything somehow.

No!

I'd say I'm just run-of-the-mill in regards to severity; hovering around that area where the majority of people with an ASD fall. At first glance, I doubt anyone would notice anything; only when I interact with others do they know, and since I don't actually do that (well, I haven't done it in a long time), no one knows any "better".

My mother has told the people who live around us, which is smart, as they now have a reason for why Daniel doesn't wave, talk, interact with them when he's seen walking around, and they won't assume the worst of me when I ignore them. To people here or there that I don't want to know, nor do I live around them, I wouldn't bother, as it's not like I'd ever interact with them outside of a mechanical setting.

I'm so and so with telling people about it. If someone asks I wont lie, but I don't go out of my way to tell everyone. Some of my family knows but at times it seems like even they forget. A few of my close friends know as well, but other than that its fairly secret.

I actually generally tell people about it if I'm going to be interacting with them a lot and suspect that I may be acting wrong, to the point where my disabilities services advocate explained to me that it's his job to do so if it's necessary and I'm not to do so because people are likely to misunderstand. But actually, telling certain people has been very helpful to me in the past. I think the reason that people take my AS at face value and try to help me in confusing situations thereafter is how I explain it:

"I have Asperger Syndrome. It's a generally mild autistic spectrum disorder characterised by the inability to understand many social cues as well as certain idiosyncrasies, such as intense interest in certain subjects and difficulty making eye contact. Many people with Asperger's have high intelligence and, unlike true autistics, had no delay in language development. Usually I am a pretty normal person, but occasionally I will seem to act inappropriately or rudely and won't be able to tell, so just let me know when that happens and I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again."

I'm intelligent and my enchantment with the world comes off as charming, so once people know me a little I think they just think that it is another mild idiosyncrasy that they now know how to deal with. It's nice, because they are kind to me and understanding when I mess up. In fact I have had several acquaintances who quietly monitor my behavior and say "Sai" (my name) in a cautioning tone of voice when I'm about to say something inappropriate.

Or they start thinking you're using your condition as an excuse.

I told someone once and she said: "Autism, that's violent isn't it?" with a worried look on her face.

Generally, telling people doesn't work for me, I either get disbelieved or patronised and it gives them an excuse to ignore or discredit any thing you say "you misinterpret things!" - they blame you for any problems that arise, just like if you hadn't told them!

Seems like people either know so little about it they misconstrue it, OR (which is worse) they know enough about it to know you're easily exploited.

Last edited by Postperson on 11 Oct 2008, 5:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't usually mention it with people IRL.

Only on a need-to-know basis.