Getting desperate

Post Reply New Topic

I've been having the same issues for so long.. throughout my uni career and something has really snapped inside of me and ive made up my mind that truly i dont want to finish university (as late as im finishing it) and regret that i never got as much out of it as i should.
i really don't know what's the deal with me.. its like i can never seem to catch up... my brain is somewhere else most of the time... i get myself into a mess and get very far behind on my work without really knowing why... its like i have to chain myself to a chair at the library or something to force myself to do the assignments but they take forever.. and i just keep asking myself, what am i doing?? and right now im supposed to be in the library trying to finish yet another really overdue essay but im sort of paralysed so to speak.. scared and sick of the oh so familiar feeling of sitting there for hours, knowing what it's all about but for some reason blanking out mentally, being confused, having my entire thought process so badly scrambled up and unable to put down what i know. i know i am a good writer and can do it, but my unexplainable struggle with assignments have gotten worse if anything, and the worst thing is knowing theoretically that i can do it, but just cant for no reason at all.
its the same problems ive been ranting on about for ages here but its always 1 step forward, 5 steps back. i have to motivate myself so much just to do these simple things, i keep hoping for a breakthrough but i know the only person who can do that is me, and thats where the problem comes in

My first question is: Are you studying what it is you're passionate about? Or are you avoiding the required course work unrelated to your passion?

That was my issue and why I dropped out of college never to go back. 1) I wasn't paassionate about what I was studying. Actually I'm not passionate about anything so that was a real hinderance to my studies. 2) I had absolutely no idea (nor do I still) what I wanted to be when I grew up. So doing an English term paper seemed pointless and therefore never got done.

Maybe you're trying to do too much all at once as a result of procrastinating. Finishing each assignment as soon as possible actually makes the over-all workload more manageable. I crashed and burned when I tried to get three major projects done in one week- all of which were already late to begin with.

I'm not saying I have the answers, though. I dropped out after 3 semesters and never went back. The pay-off for that poor decision is that I'll forever be a nobody-minimum wage-zero for the rest of my life. Keep that in mind when you start to think about leaving school.

What have you tried?
School counselor, doctor, medication?
What has worked in the past? Were you Ok in high school?

I don't know if this is helpful to you or not, but how I coped with doing assignments at Uni was to make sure each one became my special interest at the time. At the beginning of each term, I would work out how many assignments I had, what their due dates were, work out how many days (usually 6-7) I had to get each one completed, then work out the order in which they needed to be done to make the due dates on time. Then with each assignment, I would allow myself three full days to do all of the reading/research/note taking. Focusing on the one topic in this way over three days was sufficient for it to 'take over' my mind, and become my current special interest. Once this took place, I would then find myself motivated to write up the assignment with little effort.

i'm skipping class right now, and my heart goes out to you.
i took adderal for the first 2 years of my college education and it was a breeze studying-swise. i chose to stop taking it 2 months ago cos i was beginning to feel like a crack addict and didn't like the idea of needing to be on it for the rest of my life.
however, i wouldn't reccommend ADD meds as the solution, especially not adderal. the past two months i've felt like my brain is rotten after coming off it and have had absolutely no motivation whatsoever.
i know since i'm in your boat it's difficult to take advice from me, but one thing that did help for me was establishing a studying routine. same place, same time, every day. usually i did it first thing upon waking so that i wouldn't have to think of it the rest of the day. this summer i had class at 1 pm every day, so i studied 9-12 at the library. i wasn't always there are 9:00 and i spaced out quite a bit, but i got much more done than i would have if i had just lied to myself and said i could just study whenever i needed to. have you tried something like this? also green tea helps before studying.

Do you have anxiety?
What you described sounds like what I went through in college. I would stress out so much about assignments, or being on time to class, and things having to be really good or perfect, that I would find myself too anxious to even get started writing a paper, or too anxious to go to class if I was even just one minute late, or didn't have my homework.

The only thing that I found that worked was just telling myself over and over again,
It doesn't matter if my work is awful, or my homework isn't done, or I get straight F's.
All that matters is that I am here to learn as much as possible, all that matters is my commitment to come and learn.

I know that objectively getting bad grades matters, but if you only thinking about how to get a good grade you're not concentrating on the needs of the moment, and that is learning.

Oh, I recognize myself twentyfive years ago!
What I did: two years of study break going into social training with the low life of Oslo
Then changing my study subjects from maths and computers to chemistry. Majoring in biochemistry with Dr. Reichelt. Neuroactive peptides in urine. Mostly ADHD and autism urines. Some schizophrenics.

We found peptides in amounts much higher than normal!


I must ask: are you addicted to milk products? Do you get a "high" from it?

Also gluten? Bread, pasta, wheat products?


Some people cannot break these foods down properly, giving exorphines (often peptides of opioid character) as a result.


Lots of sugar too?

High sugar concentration in the bowel system facilitates transport of "too big" molecules from bowels to blood. Like the peptides... Exorphines. Like endorphines, but from food. You get addicted to it.

When I tried a life without these foods I cleared up a lot in my head. Easier to get work done.

Strong evidence now that these peptides are on the loose in many neurochemical syndroms. Autism, schizophrenia, depression, ADHD, migraine, rheumatism, tourettes etc. Maybe also asperger?

My tendency to fall asleep after meals disappeared with casein/gluten-free diet. Also pains in joints. My mood got stable. I work better.
I get things done in time. And so on...

It's not just easy. Lots of ready-made products have these proteins (casein, gluten), so read labels.
It's worth a try.

In Norway we have a society for protein-intolerants (as is the term) But most of you don't read norwegian...

Search the net for Cade, Shattoch, Reichelt + peptides! Or opioid peptides + autism.

Thanks everyone!!
NocturnalQuilter and kelsi: The classses I am doing at least this semester are truly passions, and so it frustrates me even more that i get stuck and can't show that on my work. ther was a paper that i was given a long extra time to complete but couldnt manage it on time, handed up a terrible, half finished paper on a topic that i knew all about, had something to say really, and was a special interest, and that really gutted me. i wish i could go back and tell the lecturer that i could tweak it now that it seems to make more sense but not for the grade, but i bet she wouldnt give me the time of day.
kelsi thanks for sharing your 'system'.. i think my problem is that because i get stuck completely or fall behind, any similar system i do seems to go awry. trying not figure out how not to fall behind..
choetso: thanks for the info! i dont really drink milk etc as im lactose intolerant, but trying to cut out sugar. (dont take soft drinks though)
tahitiii: I've always been disorganised and in high school started to have huge problems starting my assignments/essay exams (ie sit there and freeze), call it perfectionism or whatever, but typically once i managed to start i pretty much was ok. the problem just seems to be getting worse and worse every year. i am currently in counselling but there's not much i can do, its hard to explain my own thought process so i can't explain why somethign that should be simple for me isn't. If people knew i posted replies as long as this yet have trouble handing up an essay, they'd call me a liar.
daysleeper: thanks for the tip! I've been trying to establish a routine sort of like that, its slowly helping me a bit, at least i feel with consistency that something however little gets done.
Ayame: I dont know if i have anxiety.. i don't get anxiety or panic attacks and can actually speak up well in class... but i stress out a lot about assigments because the same problems with freezing up/mental trainwreck keep coming up. i genuinely want to learn but what i used to do in the past was sacrifice lectures so i could do assignments because i was so slow to get into them, i needed to 'block' the entire day to do them.
I have IBS so getting to lectures in the morning is not impossible but takes a lot more self-discipline on my part to make sure i get there no matter how much discomfort i might be in. that plus... i don't know.. sheer mental fatigue/confusion/inertia etc snowballed into me missing quite a lot of classes, which is usual for me. This time round i felt better later in the semester and started rallying going to lectures and really absorbed and held on to every word, but too late.. unfortunately term is coming to a close and i truly wish i'd had the fight in me to start going to lectures much earlier. I want to approach the lecturers and ask them for any advice on how i might be able to get the most out of the course learning-wise, since i missed so much, but am not sure how and what to say really.. in a way I'm not sure I myself know what I'm asking for. i know i understand and want to learn but cant get my act together.
Anyway thanks all for listening.. it means a lot. i just dont know where my head is and it scares the hell out of me.

Last edited by Aardvark on 14 Oct 2008, 4:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

If you did drop out of university, you would not be the first person to do so. My best friend is finally finishing her degree in her late forties. I had a degree, but in my forties I took classes in my interest and found out college was incredibly easier than it had been in my late teens and early twenties. I ran rings around the kids.

Not eating sugar is very good! But beware of the synthetical sweeteners! Not good.
I can almost tolerate the proteins I am intolerant of if I dont eat any sugar....

No milk ok. Thats not it then.
What about gluten? Wheat products etc?
Often connected with tics and tiredness.

For me: milk gives a HIGH, with heavy hangover three hours after intake.
Gluten is more slow. Tired, tired, unconcentrated. Takes some time to leave the body. At least three weeks to make a real effort. Maybe six. But gradually clearing up...

I sympathise - what you described is remarkably like the way I figured it would go if I went to university. I guess my defense mechanisms were ahead of the game. So I thought "stuff that" and started applying for jobs instead.

But that's just me. I just don't do the "American dream" thing, the things I love to do aren't lucrative. My job is a necessary evil to finance my leisure activities.

They've let you down by allowing you to fall behind - higher education is like that, they ignore the quiet ones because everybody's so busy in the name of efficiency. They won't help if you don't put the problem under their noses. The squeaky wheel is the one that gets oiled. I'm hopeless at squeaking but sometimes I get it right. Hope you do too if you decide to talk to your tutor about it.

In the end, dropping out is no disgrace if that's what you have to do. I agree that going back to it when you're older is a good option, mature students do better usually.

actually i have been getting a lot of help in the form of extensions etc., i am unbelivably grateful but the root problem which is me isn't solving itself. dropping out now is not the solution... but im really trying to find a way to salvage things so i can really learn.

I have the same problem when it comes to my chosen career. I am so tired of graphics design but I can't really do anything else that pays nearly as much. I finally had enough of working in the newspaper biz this past few months, and like you, it's hard to face the day knowing the same old thing is still there and I have to deal with it. I want to be a writer, and there was never enough time to devote to it with work and all, so I finally quit my stupid job two months ago. I still do design by freelance via the internet, but I've devoted more time to writing and pursuing other interests.

I highly suggest that you stay in college, though. It's hard to find work in this day and age without a degree, so keep that in mind. You could change your major and study something completely different, something you're more interested in. I gave this same advice to my daughter, who is about 12 units away from her Bachelor's in Nursing and suddenly she can't go on with it. I told her to find out if she could switch her major to something else that's still in the medical field (so that most of her completed coursework will still be usable) and she's looking into it now with a fresh, more positive outlook on the matter.

Thanks! though the problem actually is that i do love what im studying (esp the units i was taking this semester) but always mess up badly, get stuck with assignments, and end up not getting a quarter as much of it as i should be.. and for no apparent reason that i can explain. im wondering if anxiety could be a part of it but i dont get panic/anxiety attacks... but the 'mental block' seems to be getting worse and worse.. im goign to a counseller but theres not much that can be done...

I think I know what you're talking about, but I have no idea how to describe it.

Would it help to take just one course at a time, and get a regular job? That worked for me.
Full time job, and two night courses at a time, until I finished. Yes, it took forever, but ten years later I would have been ten years older anyway, with or without school. I think that if I dropped out entirely, I might never have gone back.

Also, having the night courses was a self-esteem thing. I did not fail completely. I'm not just a slug at this crummy job, I'm really an aspiring ___ with a day job. I am going somewhere -- really -- I'm just taking a little longer at it.

Maybe taking just one course at a time would be like a little vacation, but with your foot still in the door. Maybe you'll feel better in a few years and can take on more.

What year are you in? Some courses are general or free electives, and you can take them anywhere and transfer the credits back to your main school. If you're near the end, with just the heavy courses left, that might not work as well.