So... I shaved my head...

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Let me put this right out front: I'm female, and I'm nowhere near punk. The only thing I've got pierced is my ears; and I have no tattoos. I'm as conservative as they come, mostly because there's really very little fuss in putting on one pair of khakis and one T-shirt every morning; everything matches with khaki, after all.

So why did I shave my head?

Yes, I'm trying to figure that out, too.

See, last night I couldn't sleep. And at 5 a.m., for absolutely no reason I can think of, I started taking a pair of scissors to my hair. And eventually, after I came to my senses, I realized I'd done too much damage--not even a buzz cut would cover it up.

So I shaved my head.

And I can't figure out why.

At the moment I'm frustrated with schoolwork, with life in general, with trying to figure out who I am and why nobody will help me figure out why my grades are failing despite an IQ of 130. I'm trying to find out why the friends I have don't really notice when I'm there as opposed to when I'm gone; why I can't make a difference no matter how hard I try. And now this.

Enough angst.

My college's dress code includes "no shaved heads", a rule I thought I'd never in my life fall afoul of. And it looks ugly; I knew it would look ugly. I have a really thick neck that my hair usually hides. I usually hate having to deal with my hair every darn morning; but this is a little extreme.

I don't know how I'm going to explain this to my friends; even if they don't notice me normally, they are going to give me some seriously negative attention after this. I'm inexperienced enough at having friends to begin with, let alone explaining to them why I suddenly have no hair.

And I still don't know why I shaved my head.

What am I going to do? I can't stay in my room until it grows out!

A note: You are free to laugh if you so desire. Objectively, this is quite a humorous situation; I would not take it personally. Insults are, however, less welcome.

Last edited by Callista on 09 Feb 2006, 8:58 am, edited 2 times in total.

There must have been a full moon last night....my son cut all the fur off his favorite bear last night! Well, at least your hair will grow out...

I think, at least with my son, it's an impulse control issue. When I was young I impulsively cut my eyelashes off, as well as my friends.

Perhaps you could buy a decent wig or wear a hat?

Wear a woolie hat, and if the college complains tell them you are on chemo and that they are being insensitive.

Or just say it was the only way to get rid of the nits you contracted whilst at college.

How do they deal with Buddists?

Don't wear a wig. It's going to look fake and someone's going to think you're a radiation victim. But hats are OK if you need to hide it, and a shaved head really is cool in itself.

The college dress code can be tricky to handle, though. Maybe the radiation thing isn't all bad? But seriously, what can they do? Say it's about freedom of expression.

Well, I've shaved my head as well--three times, actually--but I did have a reason. I have alopecia, and my hair likes to fall out at random moments, which leaves me with large bald spots. So in order to minimize the mangy dog look, whenever that happens, I just shave my head.

I don't see the problem, although people do laugh and talk about you behind your back. I have a shirt that says "I'm too y for my hair! That's why it isn't there!" And life is so much easier and hassle free when you have no hair, really short hair, or, like me now, three inch spiky copper brown hair.

When I first had to shave my head, I was terrified because I didn't fit in as it was, and now getting to be the only student in school to wear a hat would just INVITE attention I really didn't want. (And it did, and the only fight I've ever gotten into in my entire life, outside the sparring ring, was in 10th grade where I ied some twit's nose for not leaving me alone.) (And fighting only exacerbated the problem, no matter how satisfying it was, so DON'T DO IT.)

Worrying about something I couldn't change wasn't helping, so I sat down and had a long talk with myself (I like to talk to myself, it's true) about just going with it. That kind of attitude didn't really change over night, but by the third time in five years that my hair "took a little vacation," I just shrugged it off and added another hat to my growing collection.

About your "friends:" I feel the same way sometimes. That's why I took up Taekwondo and boxing (it so nice to pound the stuffing out of a bag.) (Not that I have ever hit it hard enough to pop the stuffing out, mind you, because that's just a phrase.) The bit about your grades is why I moved home--I just couldn't function on my own and succeed at school (not that I succeeded at school while I was at home, but oh well.)

But this probably isn't helping.

Can you wear hats? If so, find a few really cool ones and wear them. Also, if you can, in a few days after the shock wears off, start making a joke of it. I don't think you'll worry so much about what people think about you if you realize exactly how little they actually do. (That's what I tell myself, anyway.) People will look at you funny once, twice, maybe three times, but then they'll either forget that you exist, or they'll just forget that you shaved your head.

And dude!--It is GREAT to be able to sleep in a few extra minutes because all you have to do is soap up in the shower now! It's awesome! And maybe you'll find new friends. I am now best friends with someone who came up to me one day when I was moping around the library and said, "you have a really nice head." It was so random I just looked at her, and then we started talking.

So it may be a cliche, but good things do happen when you least expect it.

Sometimes I also feel hair is pretty worthless to have if you want to have a good nights sleep.

Think mostly of the positive aspects that come out of it.

Take some vacation, maybe ?

Shaving my head is one of my phantasm by the way.

When I feel overwhelmed (or depressed) I also want to cut my hair very short. I was going to have it buzzed this last time, but my SO freaked at that idea so I went slightly longer. I think that the reason I do it can be either grieving, don't want to deal with hair at all, or being able to have control over something.

I'm not sure what the weather is like where you are, but perhaps some nice scarves for your neck? The hats take care of the head, I agree to skip the wig. You'd have to spend a fortune to get one that looks remotely natural, and you still wouldn't be fooling anyone.

As for the school? Well, I got this idea from a show I watched last night - you were in the shower, soap all in your eyes, and reached for the shampoo. Later you realized you washed with your hair removal cream. I doubt they'd question it, as iffy as it sounds.

Just a thought.

that's awesome. you have a lot of guts doing that. i could NEVER shave my head.

i'd just start a really cool hat collection! as for the neck thing, scarves (silk or knit and heavy) and polos. also wear shirts w/ really busy necklines, and sparkly long necklaces and stuff that will take attention away from your neck. don't do turtlenecks because they look weird on everybody, or at least not too many...

honestly though, i doubt anyone will mind. if anything you'll be much more respected!

I'm a male so its not such a societys glare. But I shave my head when Im really overly stressed, playing with it too much, and sometimes it helps when I want to do something destructive.

I didn't have any hats yesterday; but I spent the last hour crocheting myself one. It's annoyingly itchy, though, because it's made out of wool and not polyester. I'll have to make another--not that I need an excuse to have the nice, comforting feeling of wool running through my fingers.

It just occurred to me: I think I'm in a crochet phase right now, or what passes for it. I've finished three afghans, about ten scarves, and this and four other hats. I'm pretty fast at it because I've known how to crochet since I was about five years old. I can also knit and sew; in fact, I'm getting about $10 from a friend of mine for about two hours' worth of mending. It's certainly a nicer way to make money than sweating in a humid dish room.

I think I like crochet so much because I like to have something to do with my hands; because sitting still is impossible for me. I wiggle my legs or tap my foot or rock or twitch or even weirder things. I don't know why--it's probably just a weird habit, though it does fit the description of "stimming" I've heard here. Crochet helps me pay attention in class, too; my regular professors are used to my making things out of wool in class; and they know I listen because I ask questions constantly.

I'm very nervous right now; my friends are sure to find out that I've shaved my head, because I've also shaved my eyebrows.

I still haven't left my dorm.

I'm going to shave my head one of these days.

I can just see the look on your professor's face!


Callista: You see, I was in the shower, soap in my eyes and all, I reached for the shampoo, but instead.........

(when I read that post, I laughed so hard!!)

Maybe you could pull this one off: You see, I feel such a kinship with our armed service personel, so in their honor I.........


I always wanted to shave my head (when I was a teen) but never had the guts. It's a good thing too because I don't think I could have pulled that off very well, having a thick neck and all. (It's a good thing you're asexual)

(remember, you said we could have a bit of fun with it) Maybe sleeping pills are in order, here.

Tell the staff you did it in solidarity with a relative with cancer.

I thought of that, actually.

I've figured out an excuse and memorized it for when they find out and start asking:

Short version:
"I got super glue in my hair. I had to cut it out, and then it looked so bad that I just took it all off. It'll grow back."

Long Version:
"I broke the handle off one of my coffee cups, so I glued it back on with super glue. You know how you have to hold the thing together for a while while the glue sets? Anyway, I was doing that and I got tired so I put my head down. I didn't know till I tried to lift it back up again that I'd put my head down on the tube of glue and glued my head to my optics homework! I had to cut off half my hair to get my head free; and then it looked really stupid, so I just shaved it all off. Don't worry, I'll let it grow out again."

I really hate lying, though. I'll probably be a really obvious liar, too. Oh, well; they will probably just think I'm lying about it to avoid a dress code fine.

Yes, being asexual is a patently Good Thing in this situation. I don't have to worry about scaring any boys off!