At what age did you 'de-alienize'?

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At what age did you feel comfortable around others if at all? What I mean is when did you start feeling less like the odd one out of the group? I suppose most aspies and auties can never truly feel as if they are exactly the same as NT's, but did your feelings around the masses ever change that within yourself you dont feel as if you truly are an alien?

Depends on the situation really. Sometimes I can mimic what everyone else is doing and look like I know what I am supposed to be doing/saying. I find formal social gatherings to be the worst still, whether I know the other people in attendance or not it is always the dreaded small talk that gets me every time.

Much better than I used to be with informal social situations though. I often find others in the same predicament now that I am more experienced at spotting them. Talking random stuff to random strangers is sometimes much easier than talking to people you know.

Surprising amounts of people seem to force themselves to socialise and spend their evenings skulking around the edges of clubs or dancing like they are the only person in the room, this is where you will often find me! You don't necessarily need to fit in to have a good time, just takes perseverance.

i guess since i went back to school and found a "purpose" i feel less alien. i have good days and bad, sometimes i don't even feel comfortable around my familly and other times i can feel ok around lots of people. i think i sort of got used to feeling different and i'm ok with it now, i sometimes even enjoy it.

I have just started to this year, aged 15, after finding a new group of friends.I am still slightly the odd one out, as I am the only one who is not a Christian, and share very few lessons with them, but I am liked by them and not thought of as too strange (i have social phobia and dont talk in school much)

If we were to lower the stakes a bit, and ask at what age I was able to be an accepted and functional member of a group, I would say roughly 23 or 24 years of age.

I'm 27 and I haven't reached that point yet.

About 5 years ago, age 34, when I finally found a social group were I fit in. I'm still unique, but I accepted and liked for the most part.

For me, when I feel comfortable around others is very different from experiencing the feeling of community.

I've never felt uncomfortable around others unless they annoyed me by doing something... annoying, heh...

I am however never quite part of the group. People notice me right away. No matter what I am doing (or not doing, for that matter). I may just sit silently somewhere but I am noticed. I'm like a walking highlight in groups, people cannot stop centring around me - often in a bad way.

Even in a situation with my friends I am still the one who doesn't quite fit.

I don't mind being the one who's sticking out in a group of friends though. Being the one who's different from others.

They (my friends the people I associate with) are different from me too and I and them, we just got to deal with finding a common ground between our differences.

I'm 20 and 21's on the way in a few months.

I do not need a feeling of community. Mostly because I do not understand what that would be like. To feel like everyone? How could anyone feel like another? They're not the same person!

I am comfortable and happy being acknowledged as I am now by those who like me.

Guess that's my lack of abstraction speaking here. I just do not think 'me' and 'them' when it comes to such the personalities of people. (I am perfectly able to spontaneously think in 'us' and 'them' when it comes to basic opinions and needs, but not when it comes to the details and the complexity of people.')

I think in '1 person' and '1 person' and '1 person' and '1 person'... it amazes me that others might think in 'we people are the same', when clearly they are not the same.

Hasn't happened yet.

I still feel different, but not in an alien way, just in a "I'm different" way. Hard to put into words. Basically I started making an effort to care about some of the things that seem stupid to me, but everyone else cares about - dressing well, for example, and making social chit-chat. It seems to me that people I know are willing to meet me halfway and help me as long as they know I'm making an effort. I guess it's getting easier for me because I've worked at the same place for nearly ten years now, so I've known some of the same people all that time, and they're used to me. Anyone new who arrives is kinda forced to tolerate what at first seems wierd, until they become accustomed to it, and get to know me.

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Diagnosed but unconvinced... I reckon I'm just a rude and arrogant wierdo

I still haven't arrived there either and in some ways hope that I don't. The idea of feeling comfortable among normal people in effect means that I'd have lost the game and been beaten in my efforts to do just the opposite thing and that is to get normal people to feel comfortable round me.

I used to fit in perfectly at age 6, and I'm totally an alien at age 46.

It went the opposite direction for me. The older I get the harder it is to relate to other people my age. When I was younger I had an easier time finding common interests to build friendships around. People my age seem very boring to me now.

I have never de-alienized. When I'm not around others everything is fine I don't feel like an outsider until in a group setting.

I remember trying to blend in when I was a pre-teen but it just didn't work. So In my mid teens started to think about it. What made me happier? Trying to blend in and lose apart of myself or hide it with the same treatment I get when I am not trying or stick with what I like doing, stop trying to blend in when it doesn't work.

I chose to just be me. As a result, I've saved tons of money from not buying designer clothing, learned more about how little empathy alot of people actually have and stuck with my "special" interests.