Mirror

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There was another post about people who don't like to look at themselves in the mirror. I have the opposite question.

Are there any people with AS that stare at themselves in the mirror excessively, particularly when you are alone. Do you know why and is there anything that you know of to address this?

both have occurred with me earlier in my life.

I still find it near impossible to look in the mirror in a public rest room. (what strange term that is!!)

i hate mirrors... every time i rented a new room to live, the first thing was covering the mirror on the wall (or taking it off)

thanks for commenting but again, i was wondering about people who look at themselves in the mirror alot and how to overcome that problem. I don't want to come across as being controlling or rude, but I am dealing with this issue right now and those are the sort of replies that would help

I was always fascinated with mirrors. I find them difficult to not look into. I was (and still am) bemused and fascinated by the 'backwardness' of everything (and sometimes cannot actually control directionality of movements when looking in a mirror). I was also always fascinated by the shapes peoples' faces made (my understanding that these shapes conveyed consistent meaning to others was limited and I viewed it more as a form of fashion like certain phrases of speech or items of clothing) and I was consistently trying to practice different face shapes in the mirror as a child. I still do actually.

I really cannot explain quite why I remain so fascinated, (I also like looking at the reflection of other things in the mirror and am constantly holding my cats up to the mirror and trying to get them to look at it so I can see their reflected face). I also loved to shine lights off mirrors when I was a child too.

I am neutral with mirrors. I don't care either way, but if there is something wrong with my face, I could spend 15 minute or more trying to fix it, so I try to avoid looking in mirrors.

I'm one of those people who are fascinated with their own reflection in mirrors. It's not that I'm narcissistic; it's just that we are constantly seeing other people every moment of every day, and it causes me to wonder how I look to them. But I was watching an episode of one of the CSI series, and there was a woman who couldn't identify her own reflection in a mirror, so she assumed it was another woman, and that led to the death of her husband. It's kind of an extreme case, but it's got to be something like that with me.

But that actually leads me to another question. I've been wondering how it was that I became left-handed. The theory I'm working on is that, as I watched other people feed me or show me how to print, I was looking at them as if I was looking in a mirror. So, if the person in front of me was holding a spoon or a pencil in their right hand, I would do the same with my left hand, because that's what I thought the other person was doing.

Me too; however, unlike you I think I am a narcissist.

Attempting to be *slightly* on topic (rather than 'yay lets discuss mirrors')

I think I look into it a lot sometimes when I'm alone. Like for 5 minutes. Is that a lot? I know I hardly use it for the conventional things like making sure one looks good. I just stare into the person there and then try to recognise myself and think to myself 'this is me' and then all the things that link onto that (who am I, where am I going in life etc)

Not sure if that is what was meant by looking at mirrors for long periods or not. I do have trouble recognising myself though


Why do you want to address it? Unless its impacting on your quality of life (I guess it would if you spent a while every day), I don't really see a need to change it

I like to look at myself in the mirror. I don't think it's a vanity thing, I'm pretty comfortable with my appearance and make little affrt to change it.

I'm just fascinated with observing myself. From a very early age, I would watch myself in the mirror. Sometimes, I'd stare at myself for ages, then out of nowhere, dart to the side or pull a funny expression to see if the mirror would match it. It always did, and I became accustomed to the fact the the mirror is most likely a reflection of my body, but I could never shake the feeling of fascination. I've always felt a little disconnected from my body - like I'm a spirit seperate from it, yet controlling it. Looking in the mirror satisfys this urge to just observe.

I wonder if it's actually an aspie thing or if this is how everyone actually feels - only here on WP, we can indulge every silly little behaviour with a three paragraph introspection

I look in the mirror a lot, but it's more to check if my hair isn't sticking up or I missed a spot when plucking with tweezers.
I also like to look at my eyes because they look unusual.

ok - if it is practical help you want from someone who has had very similar experience, here goes....

in my early adulthood i spent most of my time alone and completley interior and closed off. I spent a lot of time looking in the mirror in a stranagley fixated and compusive way that was very much about sel-obsession, detail and obsession. it was a kind of narcissism i believe - a destructive force.
WHat i have learned in my life with regard to this and other destructive patterns of behaviour is that one must STOP them in order to STOP them. it is very much about mental/cognitive retraining of the mind.

I have had to this with a number of severe issues in my life.

Break it down into small periods of time. do not say "i will never do this thing again" or you set yourself up for failure. so, break it down, for example, to the morning -- "for this morning i will not focus on myself in the mirror. instead i will (insert something positive to do here...go out for a walk, read...do a project. etc. etc.)

there is no magic wand. i know a bit about overcoming addictive and destructive patterns and there are two primary things that work - 1. cessation (and bear in mind this WILL be painful and uncomfortable. you cannot overcome or change the destructive pattern without undergoing some painful stuff, and 2. Replacement of negative behaviour or addiction or obsession with a positive one.
a third part that is also important is to encourage oneself and congratulate oneself for the smallest achievement - even if it is that you succeeded in breaking the negative pattern for an hour.

also, if you relapse, just get back up and start again WITHOUT admonishing yourself.


if you need to know more, you can pm me. ciao and good luck.
and don;t expect it to be emotionally pain free.

I have this adiction with mirrors, I have been accused of being narcissistic because I can stand and look at myself in the mirror always looking for perfection and imperfection of my body and face (I hate my face so I cannot believe that I am narcissistic, because Narcissus was in love with himself, I am not), a love hate relationship. It's like in the back of my mind I believe I can revert time or hope to miraculously see another better face, or another person. It is unreal but it is like I believe I can get younger instead of older.

Last edited by Loborojo on 07 Jan 2009, 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I never get to stand in front of mirrors... every time I try some guy who looks just like me gets in the way.

On a slightly more serious note I find mirrors a bit disconcerting, mainly because the person in the mirror never really seems like me somehow. Having a body and a face is something I'm still not completely at home with. It is almost a surprise or a disappointment that I have a physical aspect.

I used to look in the mirror loads. Someone told me it's to do with affirming your mental image of yourself so I consciously tried to limit the amount of times I did it. I don't notice it as much any more.

I look at the mirror when there is an itch on my face, I will either stare the itch down or scratch it.