Over engaging and overdoing things

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I always seem to be very easy engaged in many different matters. I also have a tendency to overdo things. When I do things I do it properly, like my job. But by watching others, it seems to me that they don’t care as much and take it as seriously as I do.
I burned out in an earlier job because of this. I also made a website for a veteran car club, where I was a member. The site was quite big and in two languages, and I struggled hard to maintain the site, until I lost the interest and had to give it up.
Because of this, I have developed a kind of fear to become a formal member of any organization. When I engage in things I also become talkative about it, and that leads others to wanting me in leading positions. That may be interesting to a certain point, but I always overdo things, and the whole thing becomes a drag.
Anybody who can relate to this?

Yes, I do identify with this. Particularly I can ruin a special interest by over-immersing myself in it, particularly if some of that is driven by others. In my 20's and 30's I turned my current interests into jobs. Seemed like a good idea, very reasonable. But the difference was doing something because I loved it versus doing something every damn day, the way someone else wanted me to do it. When I quit these jobs, I had to completely change fields to get a comfortable distance away. I also find that joining some kind of non-job interest group often leads to pressure to work as an officer, which is guaranteed to burn me out on that interest. I am better off working at jobs that I don't hate, but am only moderately interested in, and pursuing my my special interests mostly by myself, involving others only occasionally.

i'm mostly all or nothing, i see things in the big picture

I overdo things I am interested in, but I haven't burned out on them. Some of this might be because I cycle my narrow intense interests throughout the year. For example, I am at times interested in caves. As a result I have collected many books and survey maps on caves. I am using my lifelong project of a model railroad to showcase my interests as an overdone endeavor. The layout, when complete, will occupy 26' by 28'. Right now, it takes up about six 4x8 sheets of plywood. It will have an amusement park, museums, theatres, hotels, shops, tourist attractions, a circus, etc. I am now involved in the circus aspect of it. I have overdone this because I have 8 circus tents to place in this. As far as plastic scale model buildings---I have nearly 300 for the layout which contains a main street and several business blocks. It has taken me several years to collect this stuff. I get carried away at collecting things. When I was into electronic keyboards/synthesizers I started collecting them---now I have 30 keyboards, four organs, two pianos, etc. I did this with magic tricks/illusions too. I used to put up 35 Christmas trees in the house for the holidays. This year I only had around 6 up.

When I get into an interest, I also get into the research aspect of it. With the circus stuff for the layout, I have been researching all the different kinds of circus and sideshow acts that go along with circuses. I have saved numerous sideshow banner pics from the internet into my photo documents so that I can print them out in HO scale for the sideshow tent. I am also creating a history of this circus as if it had actually been one in real life. I better stop, because I am getting carried away on this description.

Nice discussion topic Mosez.

I can definitely relate. I take everything very seriously and hate leaving things undone. In my work life, I was very successful and respected by my colleagues, but my managers used to say that I wasn't very flexible and didn't always accept change very easily. Typical Aspie stuff. I would go into hyperfocus and overdo things and then have a hard time changing course when a higher-up decided to make a change that affected my work. I was not good with hierarchies of that kind.

I can also relate to ending up a leader of a group. It's annoying. And thankless. People generally see how competent I am on the outside, but not what it's costing me on the inside. So now, when I do anything with a group, I walk into an already established situation in which someone gives me something specific and bounded to do. It works wonders.

Me too; I've got a good co-worker who playfully scoffed at me one day. We were both told to give an assessment of something and he sent off an email with about four sentences and I sent several paragraphs, one which disagree with a point he made. Not as a measure of bragging, but I don't think anyone in the company is as detailed as I am about things. I probably go too far, but so far no one seems to be uspet over it, so it works for me!

Thank you all for replying. I feel you understand what I tried to point out. Sometimes I'm concerned about if I get the message out, I mean, explaining things in a way that ppl know what I talk about. I'm not an english professor, so...

You can add me to the list. I have alot of those same traits, especially at work.

i can definitely relate to this,
especially the fact that others don't seem to have this,
i always must be very careful not to annoy collegues with this

now i'm teaching, so all i want to talk about, think about is teaching
i want to improve it, i feel bad when i had a bad lesson, i feel great when i had a good lesson
i try to see what works, what pupils respond to, try to interrogate other teachers about it

having a great boss, with clear instructions, a bit severe but never angry is the best situation

i also recognise this leader stuff, but mostly people notice right after the idea of me as a leader that the idea is not that good after all
(and if they don't, i'll help them)

I do this as well. I'll fixate on something until I burn out from fatigue and then move on to something else.

I can easily relate to this. I have had times where I start to go past the point where most others would have stopped. Fortunately I am now better able to know when I'm going to far in projects or taking the conversation too far. The best example of when I took things too far was when I was writing the report on an independent research project for an Ecology course at college a few years back. When I was writing the report it ended up being 25 written pages because the aspie in me had to explain every little detail of my findings including nearly every change in the graphs I provided. But I was unaware of this because I was in full AS mode when writing the report and the only goal I had in mind was to finish the report, nothing else mattered. When I finally finished it it took me from until a Saturday noon to a Sunday morning before I finished. Then when I brought my report in for a preliminary look by the professor I'd thought he'd like it because of all the effort I put into it.

As some of you can imagine it came as a surprise that he told me to condense it down.

Since then I've been able to turn my AS on when I need it and off when I don't need it.

Or to quote an AS book I finished reading not too long ago: "Learn how to maximize the benefits while minimizing the drawbacks."

To me that's almost a natural way to be. Starting stuff is interesting but after it's perfected it becomes a waste of energy.

I either over do things or don't do them at all.

I even over do tying my shoelaces - I know that's an odd example but I recently got new boots so it just came to mind, they are quite tall and to take them off I have to totally unlace them so when I put them on I have to relace them - I don't know why but I just know I overdo the process, it takes me ages to do it and most tasks in general - computer stuff is different - then I am quick, so long as I am in my own environment and can focus. [I still over do computer stuff to a ridiculous extent sometimes, but I am at least quick at it]

With things I got fixated on they can be things I don't even want to really do and I focus on doing what ever it is so strong and can't leave it and in some cases I never want to go back to doing it again. That can actually be quite frustrating almost like a self torture.

With things that I do like, I realise I still over do them but don't notice so much or get 'worked up' about it because I am enjoying it.

I do find it weird to over do things that I don't really want to do though.